May I Never Be Perfect

Showtime's House of Lies has a new character named Kelsey. She has a tattoo across her chest that makes me happy. It simply states: May I never be perfect. I love this phrase and can't help but stare at it each time she appears on camera. Why? Because it is a liberating phrase that allows me to be more confident than ever, to really love myself in a new way.

A few weeks ago, I was in a rocky place. There was just a lot going on. I felt myself about to fold under the pressure of work and life and womanhood. I vented to my homegirls in the groupchat, and my girl Sherlyn opened up an outlook I had no idea existed. My friends, the ones who have seen me at my lowest and my worst told me that they viewed me as the girl who "had it all together". I was befuddled. How could they, of all people, possibly think that? Then, as always, came revelation: How we present ourselves to others will manifest in their perceptions. Essentially, if I'm always trying to keep it together, why would anyone see me any differently than that?

In the midst of that discussion, Sherlyn helped liberate me. She told me that I didn't have to have it together all the time. She asked my why I was like that. After a little thought, I had a few answers. For much of my life, I've tried to make sure that I keep it all together for other people or greater gain. Helping my mom with the kids, I had to have it together for the little ones. Going to school each day and seeing education as a ticket to something greater, I had to keep those grades together. Having an affinity for clothing and wanting to ensure that I could fit MOST of what's in my closet MOST of the time (thank God for body shapers) makes me WANT to TRY keep my body together. All that "keeping together" can make a person be wound really tight. If we think about things that are wound too tightly, we know that the inevitable is bound to happen...POP!

After talking with her, I realized that much of what I was focusing on "keeping together" was exterior. It was a presentation. My house may be clean and tidy, but my family may be in the midst of straight struggle. My appearance may be fly and chic, but my spirit and my heart are the hottest of messes. I articulate and present myself as a force to be reckoned with at work, but I constantly question what my next career move is. My friends need advice or have an issue, I have the answers to theirs, but lack most of the answers for my own. The truth of the matter is simple: I'm not perfect. I don't have it all together. And quite frankly, I can finally say I am okay with that.

Some of us have a very distorted view of being godly. We think that to serve God, to love God, to have faith in God requires us to be perfect. As a result, we put unnecessary pressures on ourselves that God never placed. We want to erase all of who we were and become a "new creature"; not understanding that to be made new takes work, and real work, hard work, takes time...shoot even overtime and double time and time and a half. And even then, it's not enough time! We think that because we are Christian there are certain things that should automatically go away. We limit our interactions and behaviors before it's time. We strain and stress ourselves trying to fulfill an image or an ideal that in all actuality isn't God's. He, of all spirits, knows just how jacked up each and every one of us really is. He has a front row seat to the foolery that consumes most of our daily lives. So who are we trying to impress?

In His word, God tells us that His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) When Paul follows this with, "Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me," it gives us permission to shake the pressure of perfection. To bask in the fact that God made us to be imperfect so that we may always dwell in Him! Are you exhausted? Leave those dishes in the sink! Did you forget to do laundry? Put on the pants you wore Monday (who really remembers?)! Said something you shouldn't have? Did something you weren't supposed to? Still holding on to those stubborn habits? It's good to know that as we grow in His grace, He loves us flaws and all! It is actually through accepting our imperfections that we can be in perfect submission to God! That is real freedom in Him! J.Cole and Missy Elliot tell us loud and clear that Nobody's Perfect. I believe it because I'm living it! So, may I never be perfect; may you never be perfect, but may we all be perfectly kept through our faith and belief in the Most High. Be Blessed. XOXO