Glimpses of God

A friend shared with me that someone blessed her the other day. While paying for groceries, she forgot she'd gotten a new debit card and couldn't remember the PIN. As she was headed to her car, the woman behind her took care of the bill. Did she NEED the blessing? Since she had the money to cover the cost, it didn't seem as though...

However, she, and many of my tribe (myself included), are in the midst of some pretty turbulent storms. We are trying our best to hold each other up while sustaining ourselves, our families, our jobs...our sanity. It's in times like this that even though your faith is being tested and your character is being built, it just doesn't feel good. And honestly, even though you know that God said to never leave nor foresake us, we still wonder. Are you there? Can you hear me? Will it all be okay? How much longer? What am I supposed to learn from this? Why me? Why him? Why us?

It's in times like this that the darkness is so vast, it gets hard to see God. But then there are moments, like the grocery story, where God reminds us, "I'm still here....I know that this is hard. I know that you are getting weary. Find rest in me. I know that you are worried about the next move, but I'm here to order your steps. I know that you don't know what lies ahead, but trust me. I got you boo. Always have and always will."

In these short, fleeting moments, we get a small gust of strength to push a little further...to hold on a little longer. God doesn't always make a grand appearance. Sometimes the signs are super simple. But if you are operating in the Spirit, you will catch them; you will feel them, and then you will know. God is omnipresent. He's always there. Sometimes we see proof of his presence even when we aren't looking. If you do nothing else, in good seasons and in trying ones, be grateful for the times you've caught glimpses of God. Be Blessed XOXO

Mission in the Mess

A couple weeks back, I posted the Day 1 video for the #HBCUWALKINGBILLBOARD Campaign. On the first take, I said everything I needed to say. I hit the points that were most pertinent. I clarified the purpose and the intent. It was solid. Except...my hair was a mini-mess with frizz for days; I had on not an ounce of make-up; and the lighting in my office is hashtag terrible. So, I tried to do another take. I kept fumbling over my words. I tried to do another take-the phone fell off the desk. I tried one more take just in time for the 1st hour bell to ring...loudly...in the background. Finally, I said, "Forget it," and posted the original, fly-aways, frizz, and all! I was on a mission and didn't have time to be concerned with anything else.

There comes a time in all of our lives where this is the case. Some of us are sitting on our gifts and talents because we are waiting on the perfect moment to pitch our idea or make that move. Some of us are risking the loss of a great mate because we are waiting until all of our ducks are in a row or we really have our "ish" together. You know it's like that one friend. We all have one. She's always running from cameras because she doesen't want anyone to see her "looking like this."

But what if we are supposed to approach the mission despite the mess? What if we are supposed to perfect our craft with many imperfect attempts? What if we are to blossom into our best selves AFTER the union? What would happen if the camera snapped and people actually saw you "looking like that"? I'll tell you what would happen. We would be living fearlessly, walking in our purpose without regard for images, perceptions, or opinions.

In the midst of our mess is our ministry. Hold fast to that. Birthed from our toughest tests are the impact of our testimonies. There is a message in the mayhem. Blessings are born from burdens. We can find favor in the foolishness. And if we squint hard enough, we can find God in the most gruesome of circumstances. It's time out for the perfect presentation. Life is way to short to try to get it right 100% of the time. Instead, we have to accept that sometimes, as out of sorts as it may seem, we are doing exactly what God told us to do, living as He would have us to, even if we look at hot mess while doing it! No matter what, complete the mission and Be Blessed XOXO

Hoarders

There's this show called Hoarders that explores the lives of people who purchase, have, or hold onto too much stuff. The first time I saw the show, I thought, Now why would anyone ever want all that "ish" in their house?! Fast forward a few years and I kinda get it. Am I a hoarder? Not quite. But over the years, we have collected more and more unnecessary stuff. Couple that with my knack for a sale and love of fashion, and you get someone who, if not careful, could have an entire segment dedicated to herself! So, when I make or have the time to go through and get rid of things, I find myself asking, What is this "ish"? Or Why the hell do we still have this "ish"?! (And ya'll ALLLL know that I'm not saying "ish" lol)

I know, I know. Some of you watched Minimalist and now perceive yourself some simplistic person who doesn't have any chance of becoming a hoarder. That's cute and all, but you're still a hoarder. We are all hoarders. Why? Because often we hold on to so much other "stuff." We hold on to the feelings and perceptions of our past. We let it all pile up...in our heads, in our hearts, in our spirits. We are walking around cluttered and jumbled in the mind and soul, yet wondering why we feel so heavy. It's hard to smile when the windows to your soul are covered with junk. 

At times, we are hoarding so much that we cast negativity everywhere we go. Some of us are hoarding the trauma of our childhood. Some of us are hoarding the pain of heartbreak. We are hoarding the guilt of the abortion, the stain of the mistake, the memory of the affair, the fear of the future. We hold on to ALL of it! Refusing to let go. It means something to us. It's who we are. Without it...without it...who would we be?  But imagine how much lighter you would feel if you simply let go. What might happen if instead of hoarding and hiding, you actually shared your story? Who could you help? Who could you save? Who would you become? 

You see, life isn't meant to be lived alone, and for most hoarders that is part of what it's all about. They are lonely, so they hold on to stuff. So many of us are lonely in our experiences. We don't think anyone else would understand. Nobody can relate. They just wouldn't get it! You think you're the first person to endure? You think you're the only person to mess up? Nope. You're not. You're not the only and you damn sure aren't the last. That said, it's time for some of us to free up some space. You wanna become your best self? Move some things out. Cast some things down. Banish it. Rebuke it. Release it. Be Blessed XOXO

Fisk Forever

This month marks my 3rd Annual #HBCUWalkingBillboard Campaign to promote awareness and peak interest in historically black colleges and universities. My passion for these institutions is rooted in my own experience, one in which I learned very quickly about both family and faith...

When I was in the 7th grade, our band teacher encouraged us to begin fundraising for a big trip that we would be eligible for as Freshmen. I was super excited, so I got to hustling every candy bar, popcorn, cookie, candle, you name it! At the close of the fundraiser, my teacher kept asking me for the money. I'd delivered all my merchandise, but my parents never gave me the money to take to school. I assumed they were going to write him a check or deliver the money themselves because it was too much for me to have on me. Time went on and eventually my teacher was visibly irritated with having not received the money. Finally, the truth came out...

My mother revealed that she and my step-dad were in a bind and had used that money to pay rent and bills. I was devastated and embarrassed. I could tell my mom was also ashamed, so we both just cried and kept it pushing.

A few years later, my friend Tamisha's mom made sure I joined them on the Black Health Care Coalition's HBCU College Tour. It was beyond a fun time, and it was then that Fisk found me. I tell people all the time that when our bus pulled up, and I stepped onto the cobblestone, something magical happened. I literally felt like I belonged there. It was a feeling that would warm me for the next few years, as I knew that was the college I was going to attend.

Fast forward to my Senior year. I hadn't received a grade card from my school since the 7th grade. Why? Because that money still hadn't been repaid. It was now time for me to apply to colleges. But I needed a transcript which wasn't about to happen until the school got their money. In the meantime, a man named AJ was my assurance that it would all work out.

AJ was the Fisk admissions rep who called me personally to make sure I received my acceptance letter. I told him the situation about the transcripts and the report cards. He assured me that was not for me to worry about. Dismissing my obvious anxiety, AJ said, "Listen. If your score goes up by 3 points, we can take you from a partial scholarship to a full scholarship. College costs a lot of money, but the ACT is only $40. Take it again. I'll call you later."

Little did I know, AJ, my mama, my granny, my papa, and my aunts were all working behind the scenes to take care of the bill, arrange my transportation to college, provide me with a computer, and stock my dorm. As it all unfolded, I was in awe...of it all!

Once we arrived on campus, the registration lines were SUPER long, but AJ found me and my aunts and got us expedited service. Before my aunts left campus, he talked to them for a while to reassure them that I was in safe hands. He later promised to call my granny and my mom one last time to let them know I made it and was getting settled. He gave me one of these proud dad hugs and told me, "Welcome home future Fiskite!" It was basically AH-MAZING!

When I think back on my time at Fisk, I am reminded that when God has something for us, it WILL come to pass. Were there obstacles? Yep. I had no idea how I'd get a transcript. I knew my parents didn't have the means to get me to school. I wasn't sure that a 3 point increase was even in the cards. But, I just did what I was told and trusted the process. That is what faith looks like. Faith isn't having the answers or knowing the outcome. Faith is trusting that what is for you will be, no matter what. Faith is pushing on when you have no idea what to expect. Faith is not being hindered by worry or doubt; both will arise on any faith walk, that's natural, but allowing them to stop us from our God-given destiny is a no-go. Faith is what got me to Fisk, and faith is what got me through Fisk. Because of faith, I will always be a "Daughter ever on the altar." Be Blessed XOXO