Make Up Sex

Look at ya'll! Some of ya'll clicked the link just because of the title. Just NASTY! But really, it's a fitting analogy. If you've ever been blessed to have a TRULY loving relationship, you know what make up sex feels like. You know the kind. Some of you are squirming in your seats right now reflecting on a moment in time..FOCUS! 

When you and bae are at it, there's nothing worse. The mood in the house is tense. The conversations are short. The thrill is gone, but the love isn't lost. She said something out of line and you're quite frankly sick of it. He did the SAME thing he ALWAYS does, and you are over it! What happens? The war of words. The cold shoulder. The hits below the belt. The things we can't take back.The silent treatment. The anger, the defensiveness...often followed by overwhelming guilt and embarrassing shame. 

However, because this is a relationship built on TRUE love. something happens over the course of time. Sometimes its within minutes. Other times its within days. But at some point, one of you softens. It could be a text message. A random physical touch or kiss. Or even a soft smile where a frown has lived for so long. 

Well, we all know what happens next. Sometimes you just don't make it...to work, to church, hell to the bed (!) before you consummate your commitment to one another! There are times when the conversation of resolve becomes pillow talk after the fact because ya'll HAD to affirm one another physically!

Afterward? The mood in the house is light and airy. The laughter and flirtatious touches are frequent. Surprise text messages, sweet compliments, gazes across a room full of people, eyes locked, and a non-verbal reminder of the love you have for one another. 

Now that some of  ya'll are feeling all "warm" on the inside, you might be wondering, What's all this have to do with faith? Well, some of us are at odds with God. Our interaction has become infrequent. Our words with Him are short. The mood between you and the Most High is lackadaisical. He didn't bless you how you wanted. He hasn't restored you like you needed. You feel alone and abandoned. And these feelings aren't new, so...you're over it. 

Let me the first to tell you, it's time to make up with God. The truth is that my most spiritually insightful encounters have come from a "falling out" with the Lord. My mom died, my husband angered me, my co-workers attacked me, the money was funny, you name it. I felt like, What's the point in being good or trying to do good when messed up stuff keeps on happening? Other times, it was me. I disobeyed God. I lost my faith, lost my connection, or quite frankly lost my mind! 

Listen...God is faithful! Because of this He knows the error of our human ways. He knows that His love, mercy and favor have us spoiled, so when we get upset, we react. 

However, once we soften. Once we realize how much we need Him, He's right there, ready to receive us as never before. There's something to be said about rekindling a relationship with God. You start to feel consumed by His presence. You find yourself smiling for no reason. You have an inexplicable joy, at times, even in the most paramount situations. Making up with God is making your life better. Making your life better is making your home more peaceful, making your job more bearable, making your vision more clear to live out the life He's fashioned especially for you...his special child. So, no matter how long its been, reach out, make the first move to make up with God and restore your love. Trust me, you won't regret it. Be Blessed XOXO

Equipped and Empowered

Equipped and Empowered

A Letter to Men: Honor Her

Hey Guys, 

Here's the deal. There's a lot of information out here to keep us divided. There's a lot of temptation to keep you interested. There's a lot of life happening at any given time to keep you forgetful, selfish, and simply inconsiderate. This is all a given. No man reading this can deny it. If you can't relate, you are lying or you are God himself. Either way, I ain't buying it!

In case you didn't know, this is National Women's History Month. It doesn't get much publicity, and if you're being honest with yourself, you can guess why. But I'm not here for that. Let's skip the history lesson and get to it. 

Women need you. There are movements that would have us believe we don't, but we do. All of us. Why? Well let's get the obvious out of the way, reproduction. Now that the kids are to bed, we need you for SO many other reasons. We need you to be for US what we fight so hard to be for YOU. This isn't just a romantic thing. Plenty of women can satisfy their sexual itches without you. No disrespect, but this is simply some of our truths. What we can't do is REPLACE you. However, what you can't do is REPLICATE us. Some of you have mothers you've put on the back-burner. Sisters you only call when you're in trouble. Aunties who are only good for cooking and comfort. And let's not get started on the grannies. The ultimate bae to you while you're the typical bad boyfriend to her...loving her in the moment, and then in a flash, just like that, you're gone...to be seen again only when it's convenient for you.

But to those of you who are "involved" with a woman in any capacity. She's your boo. She's your bae. She's your fiance. She's your wife. This is a plea to HONOR HER. I know it's hard. She got a stank attitude for no reason. She talking crazy. She ain't cooked. Laundry sky high. Kids ain't in bed on time. And you? YOU? LOOOOONNGGINNGGG for GOOD loving! Why you gotta honor her when she ain't honoring you?? Not to mention, big booty Judy at work, slick tongue Susan at church, lap dancing Lucious at the strip club, and down for whatever Debra on the block. You got options! Lots and lots of options! Why you gotta honor her again???

I listened to a rap lyric the other day that seriously appalled me. Now to be clear, I listen to trap music. I got faith, I love God, but aye, I'm still hood, so the music draws me. The stories, the good ones, the non-cliche, genuine ones draw me in (shout out to Jeezy for all the Trap or Dies, Big Sean for Blessed and such, Kendrick for his presence, J.Cole for his existence, and Chance the Rapper for his interruption). I'm not gonna write what it said. Why? Because it doesn't serve our purpose. But, it does drive home the point that men are being raised, reared, and revered to disrespect women. If you love a woman, trust a woman, honor a woman...you're soft. 

Here's the question: If you are heterosexual and male, who do you live for? The woman who will love you, honor you, bear your children? Or the other men? Your boys? Who have 5 kids, 3 baby mamas, and see less than half of their check every 2 weeks? Who have a new "bad bad" in the sheets every week, yet their lonely, empty, shallow presence comes with loud, brash, inappropriate banter that brings your mood down every time you're around them? Or the gangsta? The one who got 99 problems...she might not be one but that probation officer is! 

So when it gets tough to honor your sister because she STILL beats you up (your mama said don't hit girls). When it gets hard to honor your mom because her hand is out for money. When it gets hard to honor your female boss because she's busting your balls. When it's hard to honor your daughter because her mouth is writing a check her tail can't cash, so you wanna smack her one good time. And when it gets hard to honor your baby's mother, girlfriend, fiancee, or wife because she's being a woman and life is happening around both of you, remember this: 

1. God is in her. Genesis 1:27

2. She is you and you are her. Genesis 2:21-23

3. You are no greater than her, nor her any greater than you. 1 Corinthians 11:11

4. She is strong. Proverbs 31:25

5. Your unity with her strengthens God's work. Galatians 3:28

6. Your love for her helps you hear God more clearly. 1 Corinthians 14:1

7. Honoring her is a necessity. 1 Peter 3:7

Here's the truth: A man's honoring of women, the women he loves because they loved him into a man or the one he's in love with because she loved him even when he acted like less than one is what sustains him. No man comes to this earth but through the vessel God crafted in a woman. The son of God himself needed a carrier...SHE birthed him. THAT alone is worth honoring. Beyond that? Well beyond that, women are the life source of the world. Yes...we birth children, but we also encourage ambition, nurture dreams, and are the biggest cheerleaders to our sons, brothers, and hubbys. We not only birth life, but we breathe it. That said, we too need to be sustained. We need to be complimented. We need to be uplifted. We need you to recognize that God gifted you with a honey-like sweetness upon your lips, a god-like strength in your arms, and an infinite sized loved in your heart to soothe even the most stressful of our days. Your applause, your encouragement, and your hypeness keep us going! We need you to remind us of why we're here. We need you to love us...even when it's hard. We need you to speak life into us, pray growth upon us, and dream into existence the WE that we've yet to become. Without you, our sons are conflicted, our communities are broken, and our families are incomplete. With you? WITH YOU?? The possibilities are infinite. Honor us and Be Blessed. XOXO