When I am looking crazy, with furrowed brows or twisted lips, people who love me might ask me this simple question: You Good? What they want to know is how I'm doing. They are asking what's bothering me. They sense that I am not myself.
When we taste the cooking of a grandma or aunt who seasons with love, our response? This is so good! When our spouse steps their game up a bit on date night we might say to them: Lookin good! When a child does something spectacular, we say to them: Good job or You did good! When a puppy behaves the way we expect, we reward them with a treat, a pat on the head, and a "good boy or good girl". With so many uses for one word, what does it really mean?
Goodness from the spiritual perspective means to act with righteous intent. It is a verb, not a noun or an adjective. It is an expectation of God for those who believe in Him. To be good means to have a genuine desire to live a righteous life. Now, the key word here is desire. Goodness is born from the inner-dwelling of God in us through the Spirit. That being said, what we want starts to change. How we behave starts to change. Although that doesn't indicate perfection by any means, the dominance in our hearts and our actions is goodness because we are growing closer and closer to God each day.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father....-James 1:17
Goodness manifests itself a few ways. First, when we are changed in our hearts, we start to actually be good, to experience goodness. Beginning to bear the fruit of goodness, we experience a shift from the inside out. That means that we start to feel different. We start to see the world through a different lens. After our hearts change, we start to see our behavior change.
By his good conduct let him show his works...-James 3:13
Goodness will have us acting differently. As the old folks say, goodness will get us some "act right". How we handle situations shifts because our mindset and heart's desires have become more righteous. We will start to see how the goodness of God starts to grow and harvest in our lives through the way we behave. We will carry ourselves differently and hold ourselves to a different standard.
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone... -Galatians 6:10
Finally, goodness will change our relationships. We will surprise ourselves by not cursing someone out or punching them in the face, when previous behaviors indicate that as our normal reaction. Others will start to question us like, "You gone let them...?" or "Why you acting all...?" Meanwhile, we don't even have the desire to react the way we used to. Why? Because we are good.
To desire, behave and interact with goodness is not constant. I mean, let's be honest. There will be times that our humanness causes us to act and react with NOTHING good. It's human nature. We slip up and react in the flesh. It's bound to happen every now and then. This is why it's important to grow as close to God as we can with each passing day. That way, more of what we think, say, and do is good. Even though we are bound to have those "not-so-good" moments, our new normal makes those times seem out of character. People who love us in Christ will remind us about how far we've come. They might raise a brow, grab our hand, or just give us the look, but not without asking us, "You good?"
The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good...-Mathew 12:15
Today, I challenge you to try your hand at goodness. I pray that God begin to plant those seeds into our hearts so that we may, in due season, bear bountiful fruits of goodness. I pray that when our fruit falls from the tree and we show another side, that God would bless us with people to remind us how much of our good fruit still remains. Be good. Be Blessed. XOXO
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Monday, June 29, 2015
Keep it Simple
As a working wife and mom, I long for times of peace. After a long day, the kids are down for the night (if the little one doesn't spring out of bed for a number of unnecessary reasons), the husband is in the man cave, the kitchen is clean and I am able to soak in the bathtub. This is RARE, but when it does happen, it feels so good.
Peace is hard to come by now-a-days. There are times when our homes are family battlegrounds. Siblings are fighting. Spouses are at odds. The mothers and fathers of our children make us question what we were thinking all those years (or months) ago! On any given day, our jobs can be full of strife, stress, and stupidity! We live a world of war and constant combat. There are far too many reasons to be in an uproar. There is so much chaos around us that peace seems almost foreign.
Honestly, it's funny to even think that peace is attainable. In the physical sense, here on earth, it's definitely not. As long as there are different people, personalities, and perspectives, any level of war will always be among us. However, spiritual peace is not about ending war or the elimination of craziness. It is much more about inner-peace with God, which can be hard for us to establish because it requires a few things...
“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” -Isaiah 26:3
First, we must have a desire for peace. If we really, truly want peace, we will start to look for it. That's what we do with the things we want. We want a new car, we go to cars.com and look. We want some new shoes, we hit the mall. If we want to get to a place of inner-peace with the Most High, we have to go after it. How? By spending time with Him in prayer and reading His Word.
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”- John 16:33
Secondly, we have to establish some quiet. Sometimes I talk too much (we know this from previous posts). Other times, I'm surrounded by so much noise I can barely hear myself think! In order to work toward inner-peace, we have to silence the outer noise. This gives us the space to spend time with God, to hear from Him. Then we start to experience what inner-peace feels like...the calm, even in the midst of the storm. That said, carving out dedicated time to God is a great starting point for establishing peace. This is hard though. Time is not easy to come by and truthfully, neither is sleep. However, making time for Him is what will make all the difference. Uninterrupted, focused, quiet time, no matter how little or how much, is what opens our souls to the peace only He can provide.
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”-John 14:27
Lastly, if we are looking to experience peace, we have to own it. When God gives us assurance and reassurance about a given situation, we have to own that sense of peace. Peace doesn't mean we know the outcome or that it will even be what we desire. But it does mean that regardless of the outcome, we have the peace in our spirit that God is in control, and it will all be okay. This is probably the hardest part because what often stares us in the face is dim and dark; hope seems far from it. But when we seek peace and make time for God, we start to sense peace, even in the scariest times.
Having inner-peace is a sign of faith in God. It shows that no matter what, we are committed to trust that He has our best interest at heart, and He knows what He's doing. Inner-peace doesn't happen instantaneously. There isn't a special spirit button that we push and all of a sudden we are peaceful. It takes LOTS and LOTS of time. It comes from LOTS and LOTS of experiences. The more we endure, the more practice we get. Situations and circumstances are often changing around us, but God is constant. That in and of itself should be the source of our peace. Today, I pray that all of us develop a real desire for peace. I pray that we try harder each day to make time to quietly hang out with God. I pray that we believe in the peace that He gives us, regardless of the world around us. With that, PEACE OUT! Be Blessed. XOXO
Peace is hard to come by now-a-days. There are times when our homes are family battlegrounds. Siblings are fighting. Spouses are at odds. The mothers and fathers of our children make us question what we were thinking all those years (or months) ago! On any given day, our jobs can be full of strife, stress, and stupidity! We live a world of war and constant combat. There are far too many reasons to be in an uproar. There is so much chaos around us that peace seems almost foreign.
Honestly, it's funny to even think that peace is attainable. In the physical sense, here on earth, it's definitely not. As long as there are different people, personalities, and perspectives, any level of war will always be among us. However, spiritual peace is not about ending war or the elimination of craziness. It is much more about inner-peace with God, which can be hard for us to establish because it requires a few things...
“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” -Isaiah 26:3
First, we must have a desire for peace. If we really, truly want peace, we will start to look for it. That's what we do with the things we want. We want a new car, we go to cars.com and look. We want some new shoes, we hit the mall. If we want to get to a place of inner-peace with the Most High, we have to go after it. How? By spending time with Him in prayer and reading His Word.
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”- John 16:33
Secondly, we have to establish some quiet. Sometimes I talk too much (we know this from previous posts). Other times, I'm surrounded by so much noise I can barely hear myself think! In order to work toward inner-peace, we have to silence the outer noise. This gives us the space to spend time with God, to hear from Him. Then we start to experience what inner-peace feels like...the calm, even in the midst of the storm. That said, carving out dedicated time to God is a great starting point for establishing peace. This is hard though. Time is not easy to come by and truthfully, neither is sleep. However, making time for Him is what will make all the difference. Uninterrupted, focused, quiet time, no matter how little or how much, is what opens our souls to the peace only He can provide.
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”-John 14:27
Lastly, if we are looking to experience peace, we have to own it. When God gives us assurance and reassurance about a given situation, we have to own that sense of peace. Peace doesn't mean we know the outcome or that it will even be what we desire. But it does mean that regardless of the outcome, we have the peace in our spirit that God is in control, and it will all be okay. This is probably the hardest part because what often stares us in the face is dim and dark; hope seems far from it. But when we seek peace and make time for God, we start to sense peace, even in the scariest times.
Having inner-peace is a sign of faith in God. It shows that no matter what, we are committed to trust that He has our best interest at heart, and He knows what He's doing. Inner-peace doesn't happen instantaneously. There isn't a special spirit button that we push and all of a sudden we are peaceful. It takes LOTS and LOTS of time. It comes from LOTS and LOTS of experiences. The more we endure, the more practice we get. Situations and circumstances are often changing around us, but God is constant. That in and of itself should be the source of our peace. Today, I pray that all of us develop a real desire for peace. I pray that we try harder each day to make time to quietly hang out with God. I pray that we believe in the peace that He gives us, regardless of the world around us. With that, PEACE OUT! Be Blessed. XOXO
Thursday, June 25, 2015
I Still Have Joy
So Tye Tribbett is the king of Christian crunk! His music takes the listener on an emotional thrill ride from the highs of life to the storms, all while encouraging and reminding us about God's faithfulness. He'll have you snotting and crying and praying and running and shouting and jumping and stanky legging for Jesus all in the same album! One of my favorite "feel good" songs from his Victory CD is "I Still Have Joy" because it reminds me that no matter what I'm facing, I still have the joy of God.
You ever come across someone whose presence makes you smile? Not necessarily in a romantic way, but just a calming way. They walk toward your cubicle with a smile each morning. They walk into church and give you a "for real" hug. They wave to you every morning as you pull out of your driveway. Every time you see them, they ask about you and then take the time to encourage you. I have family members, co-workers, church members, and even students who are like this. THEY are the epitome of joy. Why? Because you'd have no idea the stress and strife they are enduring.
Their lives at any moment are in complete shambles, but they manage to stay hopeful in the promises of the Lord. It amazes me. People look at them in awe when they share their testimony. People are amazed by their current life situation. People have no idea how they keep it going every day, but they know. They know that God is on the throne. His reign is supreme. They know what the enemy means for bad, God can, does, and has turned around for good. They have joy in their hearts that life can't take away because it came from the Lord.
1 Peter 1:8 says that even though we haven't seen God for ourselves, we believe in Him and that fills us with an inexplicable joy. To be joyful is to bask in presence of God. He's omnipresent, so you recognize that He is everywhere. You feel safe and protected. That's a reason to have joy. To be joyful is to praise God in the midst of trials. It's hard, but we know that He is omniscient. He knows what's going on and is there for us while we endure. That's comforting. Comfort gives us joy. To be joyful is to lie in wait as the storm blows around us or rages within us because we know God's power. He's omnipotent. Nothing can stop Him, so whatever we are facing, He has under control. Joy says that if God did it for me once, He most certainly can do it again. Joy is living in constant gratitude to God for simply being Him.
Proverbs 10:28 says the prospect (hope) of the righteous is joy. Even when it seems so far away, joy is still in us as hope and trust in God! Someone reading this may have a hard time feeling joyful. That's okay. You don't have to smile to have joy. You can have joy in the midst of tears. You can have joy even though you are angry. You can have joy when others around you attempt to take it all away. That doesn't negate natural human emotion. God gave us those too. But when we abide in Him, He gives us joy in His presence and His promises. He is God. The Creator of the Heavens and the earth. The One who made us. The One who sustains us. The One who waits for us when we stray and pushes us when we tire. He is the One true and living God who loves us more than anything in the world. So much so, that He gave His Son to save us before any of us were even born! If nothing else, that is a reason to make a joyful noise. Be Blessed. XOXO
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
Joy is a tricky word. It's often confused with happiness. In fact, most standard dictionaries and thesauri would list the two as synonyms. However, in the spiritual sense, these two words couldn't be more different. Happiness is a temporary state of elation. Much like being mad or sad, it can, at any time, without warning, change. Joy on the other hand is a sustaining source of hope. In the Spirit, to have joy is to have an unshakable faith and confidence in God. He can and will. He has and will continue.You ever come across someone whose presence makes you smile? Not necessarily in a romantic way, but just a calming way. They walk toward your cubicle with a smile each morning. They walk into church and give you a "for real" hug. They wave to you every morning as you pull out of your driveway. Every time you see them, they ask about you and then take the time to encourage you. I have family members, co-workers, church members, and even students who are like this. THEY are the epitome of joy. Why? Because you'd have no idea the stress and strife they are enduring.
Their lives at any moment are in complete shambles, but they manage to stay hopeful in the promises of the Lord. It amazes me. People look at them in awe when they share their testimony. People are amazed by their current life situation. People have no idea how they keep it going every day, but they know. They know that God is on the throne. His reign is supreme. They know what the enemy means for bad, God can, does, and has turned around for good. They have joy in their hearts that life can't take away because it came from the Lord.
1 Peter 1:8 says that even though we haven't seen God for ourselves, we believe in Him and that fills us with an inexplicable joy. To be joyful is to bask in presence of God. He's omnipresent, so you recognize that He is everywhere. You feel safe and protected. That's a reason to have joy. To be joyful is to praise God in the midst of trials. It's hard, but we know that He is omniscient. He knows what's going on and is there for us while we endure. That's comforting. Comfort gives us joy. To be joyful is to lie in wait as the storm blows around us or rages within us because we know God's power. He's omnipotent. Nothing can stop Him, so whatever we are facing, He has under control. Joy says that if God did it for me once, He most certainly can do it again. Joy is living in constant gratitude to God for simply being Him.
Proverbs 10:28 says the prospect (hope) of the righteous is joy. Even when it seems so far away, joy is still in us as hope and trust in God! Someone reading this may have a hard time feeling joyful. That's okay. You don't have to smile to have joy. You can have joy in the midst of tears. You can have joy even though you are angry. You can have joy when others around you attempt to take it all away. That doesn't negate natural human emotion. God gave us those too. But when we abide in Him, He gives us joy in His presence and His promises. He is God. The Creator of the Heavens and the earth. The One who made us. The One who sustains us. The One who waits for us when we stray and pushes us when we tire. He is the One true and living God who loves us more than anything in the world. So much so, that He gave His Son to save us before any of us were even born! If nothing else, that is a reason to make a joyful noise. Be Blessed. XOXO
Gimme Sum
As a kid, I remember hearing this phrase plenty of times on the block, at the park, or on the school bus. If someone had some Now & Laters, Hot Cheetos, a liquor store hot pickle, or a sandwich bag filled with sugar and Koolaid (what you know about that?), there was soon a swarm of other kids saying, "Gimme sum!"
Top 3 Responses to "Gimme Sum"
"Here."
"No 'cause you didn't give me none."
"Gimme got shot..."
Kindness is a memorable trait. It is selfless and considerate of others, so people are not very likely to forget it. To be kind is to cast our personal agendas to the side to help our fellow man. Many of us are taken aback when someone shows us kindness because we live in such a spiteful society. When someone goes out of their way to do something for us it makes us feel special.
This seems easy. Most of us do at least one kind act a day. But the challenge comes in whether or not someone else would characterize us as "kind" people. Galatians doesn't say, "Be Kind." Why? Because that's optional. For the most part, to phrase it like that would mean we could be kind when we felt like it, which is what most of us do. When it's on our hearts or when we have time, we do something awesome for someone else. They are surprised or grateful, and we stick our chests out like we really did something.
But the fruit of the Spirit is kindness. Let the English teacher break it down. The suffix -ness means that this adjective has now become a noun which means it IS not it is LIKE. I am a human, a noun. It's who I am. Is kindness who we are? Galatians is asking us to be consistently kind. Philippians 2:4 says, "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." This is deep. There are times that someone close to me is going through something or could use a hand, but I just "don't have time" or "wish I would have known sooner." There are times that I put my own interests of dinner time, bath times, and straight up sleepy time get in the way of helping my fellow man. Why? Because I choose to be kind instead of cloaked with kindness. My kindness can often be contingent upon convenience; if I have time to be kind, you got it. If not, you gotta wait bruh.
1 Timothy 5:10 challenges us to have "a reputation for good works". This means that being kind should be common for us. When people see us doing something nice or seemingly out of the ordinary they should be like, "Aw that guy? He does stuff like that all the time." Ephesians 4:32 tells us specifically how to interact with one another. It says, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." That said, we are to do this daily. It isn't something we pick and choose. Sometimes kindness will be uncomfortable. Sometime it will be inconvenient. And honestly, there will be times we just don't feel like being kind. But just know that people will remember that. Of course they will remember when you took the time out to help them; but they will also remember when you left them hanging. And so will your Father. Be Blessed. XOXO
"Here."
"No 'cause you didn't give me none."
"Gimme got shot..."
Now, we all know this is never going to make Family Feud, but anytime I got response 2 or 3, I'd typically say: "I'ma remember that!" LOL! Oh to be a kid again...but truthfully I always remembered who hooked me up and who left me hanging. It's human nature to remember who had your back and who did you scandalous...
Kindness is a memorable trait. It is selfless and considerate of others, so people are not very likely to forget it. To be kind is to cast our personal agendas to the side to help our fellow man. Many of us are taken aback when someone shows us kindness because we live in such a spiteful society. When someone goes out of their way to do something for us it makes us feel special.
This seems easy. Most of us do at least one kind act a day. But the challenge comes in whether or not someone else would characterize us as "kind" people. Galatians doesn't say, "Be Kind." Why? Because that's optional. For the most part, to phrase it like that would mean we could be kind when we felt like it, which is what most of us do. When it's on our hearts or when we have time, we do something awesome for someone else. They are surprised or grateful, and we stick our chests out like we really did something.
But the fruit of the Spirit is kindness. Let the English teacher break it down. The suffix -ness means that this adjective has now become a noun which means it IS not it is LIKE. I am a human, a noun. It's who I am. Is kindness who we are? Galatians is asking us to be consistently kind. Philippians 2:4 says, "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." This is deep. There are times that someone close to me is going through something or could use a hand, but I just "don't have time" or "wish I would have known sooner." There are times that I put my own interests of dinner time, bath times, and straight up sleepy time get in the way of helping my fellow man. Why? Because I choose to be kind instead of cloaked with kindness. My kindness can often be contingent upon convenience; if I have time to be kind, you got it. If not, you gotta wait bruh.
1 Timothy 5:10 challenges us to have "a reputation for good works". This means that being kind should be common for us. When people see us doing something nice or seemingly out of the ordinary they should be like, "Aw that guy? He does stuff like that all the time." Ephesians 4:32 tells us specifically how to interact with one another. It says, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." That said, we are to do this daily. It isn't something we pick and choose. Sometimes kindness will be uncomfortable. Sometime it will be inconvenient. And honestly, there will be times we just don't feel like being kind. But just know that people will remember that. Of course they will remember when you took the time out to help them; but they will also remember when you left them hanging. And so will your Father. Be Blessed. XOXO
Yesterday I Cried
When my mom died, my best friend bought me a book called Yesterday I Cried by Iyanla Vanzant. It was such a comfort that from time to time, I go back to pages I've marked. They remind me that emotional release is necessary to maintain spiritual, physical, and relational health.
Last night, for the first time in a long time, I had a good old fashioned break down. My make-shift closet broke, bringing down all my dresses and some surface paint from our foundation. My husband is extremely unhappy with work, to the point that it's starting to affect him outside of that place. My oldest son seems to have lost his athletic confidence and is struggling a bit with his esteem. My youngest son has been having accidents for the past few months; couple that with the fact that he vomited all over the hallway. My sister is in a bind and has to move in for a spell, so she is questioning when her breakthrough is coming. Everyone around me is in a space, and there's little to nothing I can do about it. In the midst of preparing turkey club sandwiches, it all washed over me.
As the tears began to well, I kept telling myself, "Shanelle! Get your shitake mushrooms together!" But it wasn't working. All I wanted was my mom. I wanted her to listen and comfort me, so I could get back out there and fight! I felt alone. My body was warm with wells of salt water. My hands began to tremble. I tried to shake it off (literally), but nothing worked. It had to happen. Right then and right there. So, I signed my slip and gave myself permission to cry.
Crying is so often seen as a sign of weakness. It's a thing that people don't do because other people have told them not to. Hence, the effort to hold back the dam. I didn't want to look weak. I had to stay strong because that's who I am. I am the superwoman in my home. When all the chips are down, we're still not out! But the time comes when God puts us face to face with the reality that we aren't running anything but the flip flops on our ashy feet. He is in control. Losing sight of that puts a great amount of pressure and expectation on us from others and, even worse, ourselves. So, He sends us a spirit of cleansing and whispers to us, "Now is the time to wash your soul clean."
As I cried over the mayonnaise, I made no effort to wipe the tears. I let them run. I made the ugly cry face and everything. In the midst, I said a few choice words, disappointed in myself. Then, I cried a little softer because I was exhausted and overwhelmed. Finally, I felt helpless, so I let it all out. Those tears rinsed away my false sense of strength. They washed away the disappointment, exhaustion, and overwhelmed feelings to reveal the true essence of my emotion. I felt helpless. I can't give my husband a new job. I can't force my son to believe in himself. I can't control the little one's bladder. I can't hand my sister a contract for a new job. I can't fix any of it because I'm not supposed to.
God is giving the people around me tests and trials that are working together for their good. They have to go through these tough times to be prepared for the things He has in store. As a wife, it hurts me to see my husband so unhappy. As a mom, I just want to protect my sons from disappointment and pain. As a sister, after all we've been through, nothing warms me more than to see my sister shine. However, there comes a time, or many times, in life where I have to ride the bench. I can't get in the game. I have to watch as the victory unfolds without me. This is one of those times.
To cope, I went downstairs to begin the tedious repair of my make-shift closet. As I drilled and unpacked and rearranged and cleaned, I worshiped. I prayed. I cried a little more. I let the sounds of Tamala Mann (This Place), Forever Jones (He Wants It All), Hillsong United (Oceans), Kelli Price (Lord of All), and Kirk Franklin (Now Behold the Lamb) fill the basement. I welcomed God in and He showed up. He calmed my spirit and reminded me of His unfailing love before the night was even over! I hadn't experienced that in a long time. It had been too long since I invited Him in and allowed myself to bask in His overpowering presence.
I was shown that although minor in the grand scheme of life (and I definitely know that from experience), these types of situations are necessary. My husband has to be uncomfortable enough at work to leave. Only then will he appreciate the refreshing change a new endeavor will give him. My son has to know what it feels like to lack esteem to gain real confidence, develop character, and have compassion for others when they feel "less than". My youngest son needs the time to make mistakes and experience consequences in order to understand that this is an ongoing cycle in life-we mess up, we suffer the outcome, we get back up and try again. My sister has been longing for a career in her desired field with a salary and benefits for her and my niece. God has to take her to a place where she can only rely on Him for her to really be guided within her calling to work with troubled children and families. All the while, I have to develop the faith that God cares for my family just as much as I do. He wants the best for them because they are His creation. But, He has to shape them, mold them, sometimes break and rebuild them, to prepare them for what He has in store.
Someone reading this might need to take a moment to let it all out. You might have some past hurts you've not quite dealt with and the pain is becoming too much to bear. You might be in a place that is uncertain and scary but you've been pretending that you're okay. Your marriage is in a funk. Your job sucks. You can't lose that weight. She's not returning your calls. You feel helpless. Let it out. Let the Lord give you release in tears. Cry as if your life depended on it because truthfully, sometimes, it does. Today, I want to remind you that it is okay to cry. It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't mean you are soft. It cleanses your soul. Rinses the clutter from your mind. Soothes your conscience in a way that provides the best sleep and, God willing, the opportunity to arise refreshed, renewed, and ready to face a new day. Psalm 30:5 tells us that weeping lasts for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Yesterday, I cried. Today, feel free to do the same. Be Blessed. XOXO
Last night, for the first time in a long time, I had a good old fashioned break down. My make-shift closet broke, bringing down all my dresses and some surface paint from our foundation. My husband is extremely unhappy with work, to the point that it's starting to affect him outside of that place. My oldest son seems to have lost his athletic confidence and is struggling a bit with his esteem. My youngest son has been having accidents for the past few months; couple that with the fact that he vomited all over the hallway. My sister is in a bind and has to move in for a spell, so she is questioning when her breakthrough is coming. Everyone around me is in a space, and there's little to nothing I can do about it. In the midst of preparing turkey club sandwiches, it all washed over me.
As the tears began to well, I kept telling myself, "Shanelle! Get your shitake mushrooms together!" But it wasn't working. All I wanted was my mom. I wanted her to listen and comfort me, so I could get back out there and fight! I felt alone. My body was warm with wells of salt water. My hands began to tremble. I tried to shake it off (literally), but nothing worked. It had to happen. Right then and right there. So, I signed my slip and gave myself permission to cry.
Crying is so often seen as a sign of weakness. It's a thing that people don't do because other people have told them not to. Hence, the effort to hold back the dam. I didn't want to look weak. I had to stay strong because that's who I am. I am the superwoman in my home. When all the chips are down, we're still not out! But the time comes when God puts us face to face with the reality that we aren't running anything but the flip flops on our ashy feet. He is in control. Losing sight of that puts a great amount of pressure and expectation on us from others and, even worse, ourselves. So, He sends us a spirit of cleansing and whispers to us, "Now is the time to wash your soul clean."
As I cried over the mayonnaise, I made no effort to wipe the tears. I let them run. I made the ugly cry face and everything. In the midst, I said a few choice words, disappointed in myself. Then, I cried a little softer because I was exhausted and overwhelmed. Finally, I felt helpless, so I let it all out. Those tears rinsed away my false sense of strength. They washed away the disappointment, exhaustion, and overwhelmed feelings to reveal the true essence of my emotion. I felt helpless. I can't give my husband a new job. I can't force my son to believe in himself. I can't control the little one's bladder. I can't hand my sister a contract for a new job. I can't fix any of it because I'm not supposed to.
God is giving the people around me tests and trials that are working together for their good. They have to go through these tough times to be prepared for the things He has in store. As a wife, it hurts me to see my husband so unhappy. As a mom, I just want to protect my sons from disappointment and pain. As a sister, after all we've been through, nothing warms me more than to see my sister shine. However, there comes a time, or many times, in life where I have to ride the bench. I can't get in the game. I have to watch as the victory unfolds without me. This is one of those times.
To cope, I went downstairs to begin the tedious repair of my make-shift closet. As I drilled and unpacked and rearranged and cleaned, I worshiped. I prayed. I cried a little more. I let the sounds of Tamala Mann (This Place), Forever Jones (He Wants It All), Hillsong United (Oceans), Kelli Price (Lord of All), and Kirk Franklin (Now Behold the Lamb) fill the basement. I welcomed God in and He showed up. He calmed my spirit and reminded me of His unfailing love before the night was even over! I hadn't experienced that in a long time. It had been too long since I invited Him in and allowed myself to bask in His overpowering presence.
I was shown that although minor in the grand scheme of life (and I definitely know that from experience), these types of situations are necessary. My husband has to be uncomfortable enough at work to leave. Only then will he appreciate the refreshing change a new endeavor will give him. My son has to know what it feels like to lack esteem to gain real confidence, develop character, and have compassion for others when they feel "less than". My youngest son needs the time to make mistakes and experience consequences in order to understand that this is an ongoing cycle in life-we mess up, we suffer the outcome, we get back up and try again. My sister has been longing for a career in her desired field with a salary and benefits for her and my niece. God has to take her to a place where she can only rely on Him for her to really be guided within her calling to work with troubled children and families. All the while, I have to develop the faith that God cares for my family just as much as I do. He wants the best for them because they are His creation. But, He has to shape them, mold them, sometimes break and rebuild them, to prepare them for what He has in store.
Someone reading this might need to take a moment to let it all out. You might have some past hurts you've not quite dealt with and the pain is becoming too much to bear. You might be in a place that is uncertain and scary but you've been pretending that you're okay. Your marriage is in a funk. Your job sucks. You can't lose that weight. She's not returning your calls. You feel helpless. Let it out. Let the Lord give you release in tears. Cry as if your life depended on it because truthfully, sometimes, it does. Today, I want to remind you that it is okay to cry. It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't mean you are soft. It cleanses your soul. Rinses the clutter from your mind. Soothes your conscience in a way that provides the best sleep and, God willing, the opportunity to arise refreshed, renewed, and ready to face a new day. Psalm 30:5 tells us that weeping lasts for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Yesterday, I cried. Today, feel free to do the same. Be Blessed. XOXO
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Love Don't Live Here Anymore
The women in my direct lineage were often hurt. My great-grandmother, G.M., was a beautiful spirit. I love hearing the stories about how fly she was; how ambitious and business-minded she was; and how hard she loved. So much so that she married my great-grandfather FOUR times! He'd act up, she'd roll out. He'd come back, she'd open her arms and accept him back. It wasn't until my PawPaw Ollie Carter came along that she saw what it felt like to receive the kind of love that she had been willing to give for so long. When Mr. Banks tried to roll up the fifth time? GM had upgraded!
Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers went through their own personal hells. First, Pinkie married 5 times. She was clearly a catch, but these men just couldn't seem to get right. She went from an alcoholic husband who adored her and would have done anything to stay with her to an alcoholic abuser who wanted her around as long as she stayed "in line". On the other hand, Thelma maintained a 26 year marriage to a man who may have loved her, but loved the lure of women more. Both of these women courageously developed love for themselves; and after such ongoing heartbreak, found it best to just stay single in the latter parts of their lives. However, if you ask them about their past loves, they still had a twinkle in their eyes at certain points in the stories.
Finally, my mom had a series of long-term relationships. She was a lover. Period. Because of this, it was easy for her to be taken advantage of. I witnessed it first hand and it would burn me up. The realest love I ever saw was between her and my step-dad, but of course, he started tripping and feeling himself with these home-wrecking women. So, it was all downhill from there. The funny thing is that even with all this chaos and unrequited love, none of these women closed their hearts. It was almost like they had some sort of bionic love, even for the men who hurt them so badly.
I'll admit, the oral traditions in my family made me privy to things that swayed me from marriage. I wasn't interested. I wanted to keep my heart guarded and I didn't want to be hurt or divorced or experience any of the things that happened to my matriarchs. I wanted to avoid all that! Clearly, that wasn't what God had in store, as I'm a wife now; but it wasn't something I ever thought would happen because at a young age, I was closed to the idea.
Looking at people today, most of us are not willing to endure much of what our ancestors did and rightfully so. We deserve to be loved in a way that doesn't drain us or deplete us. However, the sad part is that some of us, men and women alike, have had this happen too often. We have given up on love. We don't want any parts of it because of things from our past. We build walls and shut people out. We guard our hearts and limit our emotions because we are afraid that if we don't, we will find ourselves right back in the same position we started (or worse).
A huge reason for our reluctance is our narrow definition of love. We see it as a reciprocal action. We see it as romance and butterflies. We see it as humans and not as spirits. In the spiritual sense, love is a BIG DEAL! It is commanded of us, not requested.
“‘...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself..." -Matthew 22:37-39
No pressure right? Chile please! First, we have to start upward. We are supposed to love God first. Truthfully, all of us are cheating on God everyday. We have had long-lasting affairs with this world. Some of us are cheating with people, while others of us are cheating with things. We don't love God! We claim to, but our actions don't line up. No wonder it's hard to love others! We haven't even done step one! And please notice my use of "we" "cause i KNOW I'm guilty!
Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers went through their own personal hells. First, Pinkie married 5 times. She was clearly a catch, but these men just couldn't seem to get right. She went from an alcoholic husband who adored her and would have done anything to stay with her to an alcoholic abuser who wanted her around as long as she stayed "in line". On the other hand, Thelma maintained a 26 year marriage to a man who may have loved her, but loved the lure of women more. Both of these women courageously developed love for themselves; and after such ongoing heartbreak, found it best to just stay single in the latter parts of their lives. However, if you ask them about their past loves, they still had a twinkle in their eyes at certain points in the stories.
Finally, my mom had a series of long-term relationships. She was a lover. Period. Because of this, it was easy for her to be taken advantage of. I witnessed it first hand and it would burn me up. The realest love I ever saw was between her and my step-dad, but of course, he started tripping and feeling himself with these home-wrecking women. So, it was all downhill from there. The funny thing is that even with all this chaos and unrequited love, none of these women closed their hearts. It was almost like they had some sort of bionic love, even for the men who hurt them so badly.
I'll admit, the oral traditions in my family made me privy to things that swayed me from marriage. I wasn't interested. I wanted to keep my heart guarded and I didn't want to be hurt or divorced or experience any of the things that happened to my matriarchs. I wanted to avoid all that! Clearly, that wasn't what God had in store, as I'm a wife now; but it wasn't something I ever thought would happen because at a young age, I was closed to the idea.
Looking at people today, most of us are not willing to endure much of what our ancestors did and rightfully so. We deserve to be loved in a way that doesn't drain us or deplete us. However, the sad part is that some of us, men and women alike, have had this happen too often. We have given up on love. We don't want any parts of it because of things from our past. We build walls and shut people out. We guard our hearts and limit our emotions because we are afraid that if we don't, we will find ourselves right back in the same position we started (or worse).
A huge reason for our reluctance is our narrow definition of love. We see it as a reciprocal action. We see it as romance and butterflies. We see it as humans and not as spirits. In the spiritual sense, love is a BIG DEAL! It is commanded of us, not requested.
“‘...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself..." -Matthew 22:37-39
No pressure right? Chile please! First, we have to start upward. We are supposed to love God first. Truthfully, all of us are cheating on God everyday. We have had long-lasting affairs with this world. Some of us are cheating with people, while others of us are cheating with things. We don't love God! We claim to, but our actions don't line up. No wonder it's hard to love others! We haven't even done step one! And please notice my use of "we" "cause i KNOW I'm guilty!
And to love God isn't just to get butterflies at the mention of His name or feel Him dwelling within and among us. It means to love Him with every ounce of who we are! When life is peachy, we are to love God. When life is crappy, we are to still love God. We are to love Him from the inside out. We are to love God with the thing that keeps us alive (heart). We are to love God with the part of us that is most connected to Him (soul). We are to fill our thoughts with our love for Him (mind). Most of us don't do nare 'nother one of these things on any given day! I know I don't! #FixItJesus
Love is the greatest commandment. We are reminded of this is 1 Corinthians 13, one of the most popular Bible chapters to date. In it's depiction of love, we see that love has a daunting list of characteristics. It is patient, kind, forgiving, not jealous, keeps no record of wrong, and so on! Dis Too Much! As if that wasn't enough, this chapter is closed out with the phrase that although faith, hope and love last on, the greatest of these is love. It's the most epic of all the commands, yet we are quick to throw it out the window!
Lastly, and most difficult, we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Well, this is a loaded statement. First of all, many of us have a hard time loving ourselves because we don't know who we really are (that's another entry for another time). If we don't have love for ourselves, how on earth could we possibly love someone else? Love is all-encompassing. It means knowing the flaws and imperfections but still being accepting and understanding. It means being hurt and vulnerable while still having faith and belief in another person's good. It means forgiveness and second, third, or fourth chances. It means letting go when necessary without bitterness or hatred, but in love. It means a whole bunch of stuff that is a struggle for ya girl each and every day! Some days, love just don't live here...#MyBad
Love is hard. Love is natural and unnatural at the same time. It's inexplicable. It's hard to mask, and once lost, hard to recover. It is the first fruit of the spirit because it is the most important. It's the hardest to master, yet necessary in order for us to bear any of the other fruit. Without love, we can't be patient, kind, good, or faithful. We can't have joy without love. We can't practice forbearance or self-control if we don't first love. It's time to fill the vacancy. It's time to run back to God and ask Him to forgive our unfaithfulness. It's time to come home and reestablish our love. Once we do that, loving others, regardless of who they are or what they've done, might get a little easier because we're in a committed relationship with God. This is clearly an ongoing process. There will be ebbs and flows. There will be ups and downs, good times sand not-so-good ones. Sometimes, we will be lights of love; at other times, we will be deep trenches of malice, disregard, and apathy. But in the end, God will honor our efforts to love Him, others, and ourselves in His way. Try today. Try to start loving God. Ask Him to help you love yourself the way He loves you. Depend on Him to guide your love for others so that they may see Him in you. In the meantime, Be Blessed. XOXO
Love is the greatest commandment. We are reminded of this is 1 Corinthians 13, one of the most popular Bible chapters to date. In it's depiction of love, we see that love has a daunting list of characteristics. It is patient, kind, forgiving, not jealous, keeps no record of wrong, and so on! Dis Too Much! As if that wasn't enough, this chapter is closed out with the phrase that although faith, hope and love last on, the greatest of these is love. It's the most epic of all the commands, yet we are quick to throw it out the window!
Lastly, and most difficult, we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Well, this is a loaded statement. First of all, many of us have a hard time loving ourselves because we don't know who we really are (that's another entry for another time). If we don't have love for ourselves, how on earth could we possibly love someone else? Love is all-encompassing. It means knowing the flaws and imperfections but still being accepting and understanding. It means being hurt and vulnerable while still having faith and belief in another person's good. It means forgiveness and second, third, or fourth chances. It means letting go when necessary without bitterness or hatred, but in love. It means a whole bunch of stuff that is a struggle for ya girl each and every day! Some days, love just don't live here...#MyBad
Love is hard. Love is natural and unnatural at the same time. It's inexplicable. It's hard to mask, and once lost, hard to recover. It is the first fruit of the spirit because it is the most important. It's the hardest to master, yet necessary in order for us to bear any of the other fruit. Without love, we can't be patient, kind, good, or faithful. We can't have joy without love. We can't practice forbearance or self-control if we don't first love. It's time to fill the vacancy. It's time to run back to God and ask Him to forgive our unfaithfulness. It's time to come home and reestablish our love. Once we do that, loving others, regardless of who they are or what they've done, might get a little easier because we're in a committed relationship with God. This is clearly an ongoing process. There will be ebbs and flows. There will be ups and downs, good times sand not-so-good ones. Sometimes, we will be lights of love; at other times, we will be deep trenches of malice, disregard, and apathy. But in the end, God will honor our efforts to love Him, others, and ourselves in His way. Try today. Try to start loving God. Ask Him to help you love yourself the way He loves you. Depend on Him to guide your love for others so that they may see Him in you. In the meantime, Be Blessed. XOXO
I'm In...CONTROOOOL!
Janet Jackson's hit still makes me want to jam! I'm in controoool! And I really feel like that sometimes. When I have it all together, you can't tell me nothing! I keep a tidy home. I perform well at work. I read to or with my kids most nights. Although I am disciplined in many areas, I'll put myself out here on this one. Self-control is honestly very hard for me. My spirit is free, and I like to do as I please. Because of this, I have two serious areas of struggle.
First, I have a tendency to be very financially frivolous. I was sharing with a friend the other day that I almost operate as if my checking account is SUPPOSED to be at $0! Honestly! My granny used to say I'd run through money faster than Grant ran through Richmond, and she was right. I'd be lying if I said it's changed much in my adult life. Don't get me wrong. I pay all the bills on time and my children have college savings started. I tithe and give offering. But, I am not good with maintaining money on hand. If it's available, I'm gonna spend it.
The second area of struggle for me is diet. I love food. I like to prepare it, and I like to eat it! For the most part, I eat fairly healthy. However, I tend to go on these binges where all I want is things that aren't good for me. Once that binge starts, it's hard to break. I want to eat and drink things that do a disservice to my body because I love how it tastes! Even though I do a pretty good job at working out, I find it hard to keep steady with good food choices. When I should be practicing the discipline that preserves my health and my waistline, I choose instead to opt for the full order of chicken nachos and a mucho margarita! And then have the nerve to wonder why my pants are tighter and I'm busting out my body-shaper!!!
So, what is the deal with self-control? Why is it so hard to be disciplined? Well for starters, we focus on the word "self" and try to approach our issues in that way. We read "self" help books and try to do it on our own. We listen to life coaches who convince us that they are the experts on how to be our best. The truth of the matter is that there is a limit to our self and what it can actually control. If we truly want to see change in our lives, we have to give the real struggles up to the One who is really in the driver's seat. Even the seemingly small things that we struggle with need God's attention.
Proverbs 3:6 tells us that in ALL THINGS we should acknowledge God and He will direct us. If I give my money to Him, ALL of it, not just the tithe and offering portion, then maybe I'll see a shift in my spending habits. I will probably become more disciplined because it's no longer "my" money. I have now involved someone much higher. If I start to pray before I prepare a meal or order my from a menu instead of just saying a quick grace before I chow down, I might get the guidance I need to make better food choices for my family and myself.
Self-control is a limited thing because we, in our human inconsistencies, only have so much control. To elevate to a more disciplined way of life, we have to ask for God's help. There are 2 ways to do this. They really aren't even that hard, but they do require a renewal of our perspective. First, we need to walk with God daily. Galatians 5:16 tells us if we walk in the Spirit, we won't give in to the desires of our flesh. Walking with God gives us a supernatural control over those things that we would otherwise do. Secondly, we have to trust God to deliver us from times of temptation. Hebrews 2:18 tells us that because Jesus himself was tempted, He helps us when we too face temptation.
I'm sure we'd ALL agree that ALL of us could practice better self-control in some area of our lives. Some of us need to practice self-control with our words. We say what we want when we want and before we know it, it's too late to take any of it back. Some of us need to practice self-control with our bodies. We give of ourselves freely, yet wonder why we tend to feel empty on the inside. Some of us need to practice self-control with our time. We have to balance the yes and the no to what and whom we commit so that we can be our best selves, not a tired, uninterested, lethargic version. The list could go on and on. However, if we walk with God and trust Him to deliver us from temptation, we will have a better grip on things because we are operating under the One who is really in control. Be Blessed. XOXO
Bear With Me
So I have a ridiculous amount of student loans. They are at a
magnitude that I simply don't believe they'll ever go away, so I plan to ride
them until the wheels fall off. Paying on mine hasn't even started because we
are finalizing paying off my husband's. It's as if we are having to play a
childhood street game with Sallie Mae. Sallie may we ever get out from under
your thumb of debt and live?!?
However, one thing that saves us from suffering from the credit ding of
these tumultuous student loans is the grace of FORBEARANCE! *runs praise lap
around the sanctuary* One of the fruits of the Spirit is forbearance. I had to
do my research to figure out what this meant from a spiritual sense because I
ONLY know it in a student loan sense!
According to Bible Hub, forbearance is the toleration of an
offense. It is long-suffering. So forbearance is endurance, being able to
deal with someone or something doing us wrong over and over again? Why on earth
is this a fruit of the Spirit? I mean seriously, does God intend for us to be
doormats? I don’t get it! I had to keep digging…
Bible Tools did the best job giving me some clarity because I was
worried that God was just going to SMH on this fruit for ya girl! This excerpt
sums up the clearest depiction of forbearance as a fruit of the Spirit:
The idea of forbearance
arises in the Bible under different words. Forbearance could be explained as showing patience, even though a thing is
owed to us. It is holding back or restraining the self from doing something
that is normal to do. It is controlling oneself when provoked or offended. Its
synonyms show us some of the nuances of forbearance: "patience,"
"leniency." Leniency does not mean that one allows something to continue. A more
strict definition is that one does not give the full punishment for something
or the full amount of something. You still exact justice, but it is not as
harsh as it could be.
(Read more at:
http://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Topical.show/RTD/cgg/ID/1372/Forbearance.htm )
Now I get it. It is kind of like Sallie Mae (now known as Navient
for all my fellow student loan holders). I owe them a crap ton of dollar bills.
However, even though it is owed to them, they are allowing me to not pay for a
time. Even though people owe us certain things like respect and love, there are
times we will forebear it because we understand that they may be having a bad
day, be in a bad space, or just have no other idea of life than to be bad to
others. Sometimes, people deserve to get cussed out. Sometimes my kids have
earned a royal butt whooping. But there are times that we restrain ourselves
from doing that thing which is normal to us. It’s like we are giving someone
else grace, even though they have tried it!
But let's be clear, it doesn’t mean that we are doormats. It doesn’t mean
that we have to sit back and let people do us wrong over and over again. We
still have to practice a level of spiritual intuition that removes us from
toxic people and toxic situations. To have forbearance isn’t to become stuck in
a rut of abuse and wrongdoing. It is however to afford others a level of
patience that brings them into His light by us exhibiting His spirit. It's bearing with others the way that He bears with us. Man...
If you are anything like me, your forbearance could use some work.
I’ve come a long way, but I can still get with someone in a moment’s notice.
Some of us are quick to snap on our kids without remembering that we too were
kids. Some of us go off on our significant other without reservation not
forbearing ANY of their frequent foolishness! Some of us let the lady in line at the
grocery store know straight up if she goes back in that aisle for one more
thing, she’s got another thing coming. Some of us have to let our baby’s mother
have it on the text messages because she’s acting “out of pocket” with the
child support or the visitation. Forbearance requires a level of spiritual
maturity that any one of us lacks on any given day. We need to build up this
muscle in a way that shows others what God’s love and guidance can really do.
Our ability to practice forbearance often is a testament to God’s power in our
lives. Today, I pray that all of us grow in this area. That we pray before we
pounce. That we restrain from our normal and practice God's grace toward the rest of His creation as often as possible. Be Blessed. XOXO
Monday, June 22, 2015
Who do you think you are?
Early in our relationship, I used to wonder why my now husband would choose a girl like me. He was (and still is) handsome and accidentally popular. He always had cool shoes, and he appeared to come from a much better financial situation than me. It was weird to me that he would choose me. Sometimes, it still is.
In a recent conversation with some girlfriends, I realized that a lot of us see ourselves in a light other than what God intended. My wonderment to my husband picking me is because for so long (and sometimes still), I saw myself as nothing more than a little girl from the trap. I didn't look like society's view of beauty. I wasn't shaped the way they said I should have been. My parents weren't married. We moved a lot. We were broke. I just wasn't "up to par," right? WRONG!
God sees me for who I really am. He sees you for who YOU really are! The Spirit of God made us and the Almighty gives us life (Job 33:4). He made me in His own image and His own likeness (Genesis 1:27)! In His own Word, God tells me that I am "beautifully and wonderfully" made (Psalm 139:14)! We are God's workmanship; he crafted us intricately (Ephesians 2:10). We are His temple and He dwells in us (1 Corinthians 3:16). God made EVERYTHING beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11)! How is God going to make us look like Him and be proud of His work if it's ugly? He made nothing of the such! We are all beautiful and deserving of being called such!
Many of us see ourselves in the light that the world sees us. Because of this, we've restricted ourselves to insurmountable levels of insecurity. We have lacked confidence for years. We don't know our worth so we reduce ourselves to the world's cheap values. Some of us have never seen ourselves as the beautiful creature that God took the time to specifically design. We only know ourselves as ugly, fat, stupid, or ratchet. We look in the mirror and we see a sexual object to be used for other people's pleasure! We see ourselves as tough and attitudinal, so we gotta jump every time we feel froggy! We see ourselves through the lenses of the ones who had absolutely NOTHING to do with our creation.
The next time you look in the mirror, see yourself for who you REALLY are. Who have you helped? Who have you loved? What are our best facial features? What are our best physical assets? What really makes us beautiful?!? 1 Samuel 16:7 says that the Lord "sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart". With that, who do you THINK you are? Do you think you are who the world says, or do you think you are who God created you to be? That which a man thinketh, that shall he become. Be Blessed AND Beautiful! XOXO
In a recent conversation with some girlfriends, I realized that a lot of us see ourselves in a light other than what God intended. My wonderment to my husband picking me is because for so long (and sometimes still), I saw myself as nothing more than a little girl from the trap. I didn't look like society's view of beauty. I wasn't shaped the way they said I should have been. My parents weren't married. We moved a lot. We were broke. I just wasn't "up to par," right? WRONG!
God sees me for who I really am. He sees you for who YOU really are! The Spirit of God made us and the Almighty gives us life (Job 33:4). He made me in His own image and His own likeness (Genesis 1:27)! In His own Word, God tells me that I am "beautifully and wonderfully" made (Psalm 139:14)! We are God's workmanship; he crafted us intricately (Ephesians 2:10). We are His temple and He dwells in us (1 Corinthians 3:16). God made EVERYTHING beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11)! How is God going to make us look like Him and be proud of His work if it's ugly? He made nothing of the such! We are all beautiful and deserving of being called such!
Many of us see ourselves in the light that the world sees us. Because of this, we've restricted ourselves to insurmountable levels of insecurity. We have lacked confidence for years. We don't know our worth so we reduce ourselves to the world's cheap values. Some of us have never seen ourselves as the beautiful creature that God took the time to specifically design. We only know ourselves as ugly, fat, stupid, or ratchet. We look in the mirror and we see a sexual object to be used for other people's pleasure! We see ourselves as tough and attitudinal, so we gotta jump every time we feel froggy! We see ourselves through the lenses of the ones who had absolutely NOTHING to do with our creation.
The next time you look in the mirror, see yourself for who you REALLY are. Who have you helped? Who have you loved? What are our best facial features? What are our best physical assets? What really makes us beautiful?!? 1 Samuel 16:7 says that the Lord "sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart". With that, who do you THINK you are? Do you think you are who the world says, or do you think you are who God created you to be? That which a man thinketh, that shall he become. Be Blessed AND Beautiful! XOXO
Honey Chile!
One thing my mom had down pact was being gentle. There were times that we worked her over so good that she had no other choice than to lose her mind like DMX. But, for the most part, she was really chill in how she handled us. From what I can tell, that didn't necessarily rub off on my sister or me. On any given day, we are going in on our children for minor mistakes that either of us was more than likely guilty of at their ages. From the outside looking in, either one of us will look at the other like, "It's not even that big of a deal!" And after the incident is all said and done, we'd probably agree with that look. Buuuut...in the moment? HUNTY!!!
My husband always says, "You get more bees with honey than with vinegar." I always call him Bill Cosby because he pulls these cliches out of thin air that stick with me and I'm like, "Darnell always says..." which makes him feel special! However, his point is true. You can. Why? Duh! Because honey is sweet. And who doesn't like sweets?!?
When dealing with other people, it's often not WHAT we say, but HOW we say it. I know for a fact in my home, both my children and my husband are often perceiving me as "going off". In my head, I just want what's best or want them to do what's right, but the way I say it paints a totally different picture. This is especially true with my oldest son. I can try all the educator tricks in the book, but because I've built the image of a tyrant who is often enraged with his behavior, he always sees me this way. That hurts. So, I'm trying to work on being more gentle...
Galatians 5:22-23: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
How do we go from being vinegar to honey? Well there a few things to think about:
TONE: Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death...
In English, I explain this to students as the author's attitude. Well, in a conversation with another person, this is the attitude we give off. So, we may be saying something as simple as, "Go to bed" but our attitude toward the child is annoyed because they should have been sleep an hour ago. The tone is the indirect expression of how we truly feel...our attitude toward the topic. So, HOW we say what we need to say plays a huge role in HOW we are received.
TIMING: Ecclesiastes 3:7...a time to be silent and a time to speak
Every time isn't the right time. There are times when certain things need to be handled immediately, but to be gentle means that we consider WHEN we reveal things. If a girl has just been dumped or cheated on for the 3rd time by the same scumbag, yet she's crying on the phone with the latest episode of chicanery, that might not be the best time to tell her that this is nothing new. Sometimes a person simply needs a listening ear, not a reminder of how stupid it was for them to be a repeat offender. Telling her later would make her ears more likely to snag what is being said. Telling her right then could make her ears fall off because she is NOT trying to hear the words that are coming out of your mouth! Timing can make or break how well we are received.
LOCATION: Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone...
We can't just say anything anywhere. I am learning this lesson day by day. There have been times that I've said some things in a meeting that should have maybe been saved for a private one-on-one. There have been times I blurted something out amongst friends that I should have saved for a conversation at home. WHERE we are when we approach a person we love can make a huge difference in how they receive what we are trying to say.
AUDIENCE: Ephesians 4:29 ...but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
WHO we are talking to also forces us to alter our approach. As a teacher, there are some students who are hypersensitive to redirection. So, when I want them to stop a certain behavior or focus on the task at hand, I have to be really soft to ensure that they understand they aren't in trouble. There are other students who need a swift kick in the brain, so I have to be more direct and forceful with my words and instructions because it's what works for them. Our loved ones are the same way. No child is the same as the next. Our friends grow and change from life experiences. And even our spouses can be different from one day to the next. We have to think about WHO we are talking to and be sure to put just the right amount of sugar on top to keep them invested in what we say.
Being gentle isn't natural for some of us. We had hard lives or were raised by hard people. Some of us are less gentle because we don't have time to be any other way. Gentleness takes time, directness, on the other hand, not so much. This is one of the hardest fruits of the spirit for me to master. Not because I lack it so much, but moreso because I expend it all at work with other people's kid. So by the time I get home, my family has reached a dry well. I have to do better. Summer vacation has helped me see that. Some of you might also benefit from a much needed recharge to allow yourself be the honey in your home. Be Blessed! XOXO
My husband always says, "You get more bees with honey than with vinegar." I always call him Bill Cosby because he pulls these cliches out of thin air that stick with me and I'm like, "Darnell always says..." which makes him feel special! However, his point is true. You can. Why? Duh! Because honey is sweet. And who doesn't like sweets?!?
When dealing with other people, it's often not WHAT we say, but HOW we say it. I know for a fact in my home, both my children and my husband are often perceiving me as "going off". In my head, I just want what's best or want them to do what's right, but the way I say it paints a totally different picture. This is especially true with my oldest son. I can try all the educator tricks in the book, but because I've built the image of a tyrant who is often enraged with his behavior, he always sees me this way. That hurts. So, I'm trying to work on being more gentle...
Galatians 5:22-23: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
How do we go from being vinegar to honey? Well there a few things to think about:
TONE: Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death...
In English, I explain this to students as the author's attitude. Well, in a conversation with another person, this is the attitude we give off. So, we may be saying something as simple as, "Go to bed" but our attitude toward the child is annoyed because they should have been sleep an hour ago. The tone is the indirect expression of how we truly feel...our attitude toward the topic. So, HOW we say what we need to say plays a huge role in HOW we are received.
TIMING: Ecclesiastes 3:7...a time to be silent and a time to speak
Every time isn't the right time. There are times when certain things need to be handled immediately, but to be gentle means that we consider WHEN we reveal things. If a girl has just been dumped or cheated on for the 3rd time by the same scumbag, yet she's crying on the phone with the latest episode of chicanery, that might not be the best time to tell her that this is nothing new. Sometimes a person simply needs a listening ear, not a reminder of how stupid it was for them to be a repeat offender. Telling her later would make her ears more likely to snag what is being said. Telling her right then could make her ears fall off because she is NOT trying to hear the words that are coming out of your mouth! Timing can make or break how well we are received.
LOCATION: Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone...
We can't just say anything anywhere. I am learning this lesson day by day. There have been times that I've said some things in a meeting that should have maybe been saved for a private one-on-one. There have been times I blurted something out amongst friends that I should have saved for a conversation at home. WHERE we are when we approach a person we love can make a huge difference in how they receive what we are trying to say.
AUDIENCE: Ephesians 4:29 ...but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
WHO we are talking to also forces us to alter our approach. As a teacher, there are some students who are hypersensitive to redirection. So, when I want them to stop a certain behavior or focus on the task at hand, I have to be really soft to ensure that they understand they aren't in trouble. There are other students who need a swift kick in the brain, so I have to be more direct and forceful with my words and instructions because it's what works for them. Our loved ones are the same way. No child is the same as the next. Our friends grow and change from life experiences. And even our spouses can be different from one day to the next. We have to think about WHO we are talking to and be sure to put just the right amount of sugar on top to keep them invested in what we say.
Being gentle isn't natural for some of us. We had hard lives or were raised by hard people. Some of us are less gentle because we don't have time to be any other way. Gentleness takes time, directness, on the other hand, not so much. This is one of the hardest fruits of the spirit for me to master. Not because I lack it so much, but moreso because I expend it all at work with other people's kid. So by the time I get home, my family has reached a dry well. I have to do better. Summer vacation has helped me see that. Some of you might also benefit from a much needed recharge to allow yourself be the honey in your home. Be Blessed! XOXO
Friday, June 19, 2015
Don't Get It Twisted
A lot of the reason I am apprehensive about this blogging thing is simple: People talk. Me talking about God and how I'm supposed to live and how you're supposed to live puts me in some newly established category of people. Because I am trying to make the Christian walk a reality for someone who only sees what I like to call "holy high rollers"; I'm now expected to do certain things while making sure to not do others. It's the reality in which we live, and I honestly allowed it to keep me from doing what God gave me the instruction to do quite some time ago.
People have a way of holding others to higher expectations than they hold themselves. People who claim to be Christians seem to have this the worst. It makes me think about the Pharisees and Sadducees in the Bible. They always had something to say! But when the Son of God called them out, they were always stuck (see Matthew 16, Matthew 22, and Mark 12). That's how a lot of Christians are today. They want to come for everyone else, but are a whole lot less concerned with themselves. You know who they are. The ones who lean over in the pew and say, "She got 2 babies and ain't married, but they let her direct the choir." Or you might hear them try to be more polite and direct with, "Is that cigarette smoke I smell? Well you know the Word says the body is a temple." It's funny though because BEFORE getting to know Christ...BEFORE spiritual growth, these same people had some of these same problems. Shoot, some of them had FAR WORSE problems. Somehow, going to church on Sunday and knowing a few verses gives people a pass to condemn others.
Romans 12: 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
Let me clear this thing up once and for all for anyone reading this. I am unapologetically human. God could have made me a rock, but He didn't. He gave me the necessity of breath. He could have made me a bird or better yet a panther, but He chose instead to make me a woman. Because I am a woman, we know that I am far from perfect. Because I am a person, we know that God gave me the gift of life, so I wake up and open it fresh each day I'm blessed with the chance. So...yes, there will be times that I am open and honest about behaviors and attitudes that are seemingly "un-Christian". Why? Because all have sinned and fallen short of His glory (Romans 3:23) You might see me at the local night club celebrating with friends or just chilling with my hubby on some two-stepping, sipping, and chicken eating (Ecclesiastes 9:7). None of that makes you or I less Christian. It is simply the realism of our humanity.
We are people. People do and say and live. Not all the time do these things line up with what other people think, but who cares? However, when it doesn't line up with what God tells us, He deals with each of us accordingly for that. But the key person to do the dealing isn't you or I...it's Him! Somehow the perception has become that because we are affiliated with a church, we are the end all be all in Christian behavior. That's absurd! To think that because we profess our belief in and desire to follow God, we are unable to live and grow in His grace, to be "living testimonies" to His work and power, is cray cray.
God is always working in me. He always has His hand on me. He's always doing the same with you. None of us are perfect. Most of us are struggling with living a life pleasing in God's sight from moment to moment, breath to breath. It would be a lot easier for us to live with this reality if we accepted the fact that Christianity is made up of humans. Humans are people. People live. Living life on earth will have ups and downs, triumphs and failures. It's just that simple. No need to complicate it by making sure everyone else is playing by the rules when you, my friend, never even took the time to read them for yourself. Be Blessed! XOXO
People have a way of holding others to higher expectations than they hold themselves. People who claim to be Christians seem to have this the worst. It makes me think about the Pharisees and Sadducees in the Bible. They always had something to say! But when the Son of God called them out, they were always stuck (see Matthew 16, Matthew 22, and Mark 12). That's how a lot of Christians are today. They want to come for everyone else, but are a whole lot less concerned with themselves. You know who they are. The ones who lean over in the pew and say, "She got 2 babies and ain't married, but they let her direct the choir." Or you might hear them try to be more polite and direct with, "Is that cigarette smoke I smell? Well you know the Word says the body is a temple." It's funny though because BEFORE getting to know Christ...BEFORE spiritual growth, these same people had some of these same problems. Shoot, some of them had FAR WORSE problems. Somehow, going to church on Sunday and knowing a few verses gives people a pass to condemn others.
Romans 12: 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
Let me clear this thing up once and for all for anyone reading this. I am unapologetically human. God could have made me a rock, but He didn't. He gave me the necessity of breath. He could have made me a bird or better yet a panther, but He chose instead to make me a woman. Because I am a woman, we know that I am far from perfect. Because I am a person, we know that God gave me the gift of life, so I wake up and open it fresh each day I'm blessed with the chance. So...yes, there will be times that I am open and honest about behaviors and attitudes that are seemingly "un-Christian". Why? Because all have sinned and fallen short of His glory (Romans 3:23) You might see me at the local night club celebrating with friends or just chilling with my hubby on some two-stepping, sipping, and chicken eating (Ecclesiastes 9:7). None of that makes you or I less Christian. It is simply the realism of our humanity.
We are people. People do and say and live. Not all the time do these things line up with what other people think, but who cares? However, when it doesn't line up with what God tells us, He deals with each of us accordingly for that. But the key person to do the dealing isn't you or I...it's Him! Somehow the perception has become that because we are affiliated with a church, we are the end all be all in Christian behavior. That's absurd! To think that because we profess our belief in and desire to follow God, we are unable to live and grow in His grace, to be "living testimonies" to His work and power, is cray cray.
God is always working in me. He always has His hand on me. He's always doing the same with you. None of us are perfect. Most of us are struggling with living a life pleasing in God's sight from moment to moment, breath to breath. It would be a lot easier for us to live with this reality if we accepted the fact that Christianity is made up of humans. Humans are people. People live. Living life on earth will have ups and downs, triumphs and failures. It's just that simple. No need to complicate it by making sure everyone else is playing by the rules when you, my friend, never even took the time to read them for yourself. Be Blessed! XOXO
Thursday, June 11, 2015
No Limit Soldiers
In high school, we used to go so hard to Master P. He was the crunk creator. We all wanted to be Mia X, the girl. We all loved Silkk the Shocker, the young, hot one. And we all admired how Master P built the No Limit Empire. Ghetto Dope is still one of the realest and most timeless depictions of life in the hood to date. I think about how excited I would get to hear Make'em Say Ugghh. We all wanted to be in the tank. We all wanted to be a part. We all wanted to be No Limit Soldiers.
Well, what is a No Limit Solider? A person willing to do anything for the sake of his/her unit; one who will risk his/her life for the protection and defense of their country and fellow men. A No Limit Soldier is a person who has an all or nothing attitude, willing to take great risks, even that of their own life, if leads to a) protection of others and ultimately b) victory.
Man, wouldn't it be nice if we were willing to be this way for God! Think about it! What if God was the colonel of the tank (focus people, stop bouncing in your cubicle and don't you dare leave this screen to go pull up Ghetto Dope on Spotify! LOL!)? What if the Son of God were the young, hot one that we all loved so much? What if we admired and helped to build God's empire? What if we got excited to Make'em say Ameeenn. Ha! It sounds funny...but what if???
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground.... Ephesians 6:13
Let's take a minute to break down how God's No Limit Soldiers must dress:
Belt of Truth: We have to be knowledgeable in the truth of God. We have to be ready to fight against deception and lies from the enemy by knowing what is true from God's Word. We also have to tell the truth because if you are anything like me , little white lie can be a common part of life. We have to be careful about lies and omission and bear the fruit of honesty. Some of us might need to poke some extra holes in the belt because if I'm being honest, my belt falls off sometimes #ijs
Breastplate of Righteousness: The breastplate was a protective covering for a soldier's vital organs like the heart. To bear this shell, we must carry God in our hearts. This is less a matter of our own works and actions, and more a matter of having God, His love, and presence dwell within us. In order to do this, we have to guard our hearts against evil. This happens by being guarded in what we allow into our spirit. Some of us listen to music that lets things in. Some of us watch things on television that let things in. Some of us hang around people of negative influence who let things in. We are all guilty of letting this breastplate hang off in times of battle. As long as we are here on earth, there will be times it is fastened tightly and other times we have to run back to the bunker and grab it because we out here straight trippin'!
Shoes of the Gospel of Peace: The enemy has landmines and other hurdles and obstacles in our way when it comes to helping others get to know God. We have to be unafraid to step out into his territory anyway. It doesn't need to be overt and aggressive, but confidently we can step over enemy lines knowing that we are equipped to win the battle if we simply follow orders. We don't always follow orders, which is why there are times we have been P.O.W. The enemy has trapped us and we find ourselves doing what they say, even against our own will. I'm grateful that the Commander and Chief always sees it fit to come and get us, revive us, restore us, and send us right back into battle.
Shield of Faith: This one is a doozy. Our faith is what protects us from the perils of the world. It is by faith that we are able to stand in the midst of persecution and push forward with unwavering perseverance. Shielding ourselves with the belief that no matter what type of attack we fall under, God is present and in control. This shield can get heavy sometimes. It can become hard to hold. Sometimes, I have mine forcefully in front, ready for action. Other times, my arm gets tired and my shield is dragging along side me. I have even dropped it a time or two and another soldier had to help me pick it back up.
Helmet of Salvation: This is to protect our head because we know traumatic brain injury can take us out of the war. This cranial safeguard is basically a shift in our thinking. We have to renew our minds and be brainwashed for our cause. Yes. Some people will think we are crazy. Yes. Some people will refuse to join the ranks. This is all a guarantee that can affect the way we think about the whole thing. We begin to second guess ourselves and our cause. We question God's Word, His promises, and even His existence. This is why the helmet is so important. All of us have had times where our thoughts were less than godly. That's an indication that our helmet flew off in battle and we turn back to go it!
Sword of the Spirit: This is where we slice and dice my friends! The sword is the Word of God. People will come for us. That's their job. It's our job to defend our cause, protect our ranks, and serve our Leader. We don't have to justify our reasons for choosing to fight this war, but we need to be prepared to defend ourselves against the attacks of the enemy. This part can be hard. The Word is a tough thing. It's all over the place. Things in the New Testament seem to contradict things in the Old. Some of it makes no sense and seems antiquated. Not to mention, we'd have to make time to sharpen our sword daily to stay ready for battle and that doesn't always happen. Many times we are out here with dull swords trying to cut somebody. Bringing broken swords against an enemy with machine guns...we ain't trying to win! This part takes some extra work and some extra time and some extra skills and training. We have to want to use the sword, which at some points in this battle is a stronger desire than at others. Sometimes we get scared to pull the sword. Other times we pull it but the opposition has far greater skill at using their weapon than we at ours. And yet other times the sword is at home so we are running and hiding because we don't want to die! I get it. Constantly finding myself in between any of these different places all the time...
In short, God wants us to be His No Limit Soldiers. He wants us to go into battle and be fiercely fearless because we are equipped with the FULL ARMOR. But He also knows that this armor is heavy. It's a lot to carry from battlefield to battlefield, day after day. He knows that sometimes, soldiers mess up. They start tripping. Some of us have PTSD while others of us are trying to go AWOL and praying for a discharge, honorable or otherwise. But God wants us to have no limits in the lengths we are willing to go to for His Kingdom. I want to hear from you today. Which of the pieces of armor do you hardly leave home without? On the other hand, which piece of the armor do you struggle to keep up with? I can't wait to read where our army is strongest and where we struggle so that we can pray for one another with specificity, the way that soldiers cover one another in battle. Be Blessed. XOXO
Well, what is a No Limit Solider? A person willing to do anything for the sake of his/her unit; one who will risk his/her life for the protection and defense of their country and fellow men. A No Limit Soldier is a person who has an all or nothing attitude, willing to take great risks, even that of their own life, if leads to a) protection of others and ultimately b) victory.
Man, wouldn't it be nice if we were willing to be this way for God! Think about it! What if God was the colonel of the tank (focus people, stop bouncing in your cubicle and don't you dare leave this screen to go pull up Ghetto Dope on Spotify! LOL!)? What if the Son of God were the young, hot one that we all loved so much? What if we admired and helped to build God's empire? What if we got excited to Make'em say Ameeenn. Ha! It sounds funny...but what if???
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground.... Ephesians 6:13
 |
| Courtesy: http://ko792daci.blogspot.com/2011/06/armor-of-god-for-children.html |
Let's take a minute to break down how God's No Limit Soldiers must dress:
Belt of Truth: We have to be knowledgeable in the truth of God. We have to be ready to fight against deception and lies from the enemy by knowing what is true from God's Word. We also have to tell the truth because if you are anything like me , little white lie can be a common part of life. We have to be careful about lies and omission and bear the fruit of honesty. Some of us might need to poke some extra holes in the belt because if I'm being honest, my belt falls off sometimes #ijs
Breastplate of Righteousness: The breastplate was a protective covering for a soldier's vital organs like the heart. To bear this shell, we must carry God in our hearts. This is less a matter of our own works and actions, and more a matter of having God, His love, and presence dwell within us. In order to do this, we have to guard our hearts against evil. This happens by being guarded in what we allow into our spirit. Some of us listen to music that lets things in. Some of us watch things on television that let things in. Some of us hang around people of negative influence who let things in. We are all guilty of letting this breastplate hang off in times of battle. As long as we are here on earth, there will be times it is fastened tightly and other times we have to run back to the bunker and grab it because we out here straight trippin'!
Shoes of the Gospel of Peace: The enemy has landmines and other hurdles and obstacles in our way when it comes to helping others get to know God. We have to be unafraid to step out into his territory anyway. It doesn't need to be overt and aggressive, but confidently we can step over enemy lines knowing that we are equipped to win the battle if we simply follow orders. We don't always follow orders, which is why there are times we have been P.O.W. The enemy has trapped us and we find ourselves doing what they say, even against our own will. I'm grateful that the Commander and Chief always sees it fit to come and get us, revive us, restore us, and send us right back into battle.
Shield of Faith: This one is a doozy. Our faith is what protects us from the perils of the world. It is by faith that we are able to stand in the midst of persecution and push forward with unwavering perseverance. Shielding ourselves with the belief that no matter what type of attack we fall under, God is present and in control. This shield can get heavy sometimes. It can become hard to hold. Sometimes, I have mine forcefully in front, ready for action. Other times, my arm gets tired and my shield is dragging along side me. I have even dropped it a time or two and another soldier had to help me pick it back up.
Helmet of Salvation: This is to protect our head because we know traumatic brain injury can take us out of the war. This cranial safeguard is basically a shift in our thinking. We have to renew our minds and be brainwashed for our cause. Yes. Some people will think we are crazy. Yes. Some people will refuse to join the ranks. This is all a guarantee that can affect the way we think about the whole thing. We begin to second guess ourselves and our cause. We question God's Word, His promises, and even His existence. This is why the helmet is so important. All of us have had times where our thoughts were less than godly. That's an indication that our helmet flew off in battle and we turn back to go it!
Sword of the Spirit: This is where we slice and dice my friends! The sword is the Word of God. People will come for us. That's their job. It's our job to defend our cause, protect our ranks, and serve our Leader. We don't have to justify our reasons for choosing to fight this war, but we need to be prepared to defend ourselves against the attacks of the enemy. This part can be hard. The Word is a tough thing. It's all over the place. Things in the New Testament seem to contradict things in the Old. Some of it makes no sense and seems antiquated. Not to mention, we'd have to make time to sharpen our sword daily to stay ready for battle and that doesn't always happen. Many times we are out here with dull swords trying to cut somebody. Bringing broken swords against an enemy with machine guns...we ain't trying to win! This part takes some extra work and some extra time and some extra skills and training. We have to want to use the sword, which at some points in this battle is a stronger desire than at others. Sometimes we get scared to pull the sword. Other times we pull it but the opposition has far greater skill at using their weapon than we at ours. And yet other times the sword is at home so we are running and hiding because we don't want to die! I get it. Constantly finding myself in between any of these different places all the time...
In short, God wants us to be His No Limit Soldiers. He wants us to go into battle and be fiercely fearless because we are equipped with the FULL ARMOR. But He also knows that this armor is heavy. It's a lot to carry from battlefield to battlefield, day after day. He knows that sometimes, soldiers mess up. They start tripping. Some of us have PTSD while others of us are trying to go AWOL and praying for a discharge, honorable or otherwise. But God wants us to have no limits in the lengths we are willing to go to for His Kingdom. I want to hear from you today. Which of the pieces of armor do you hardly leave home without? On the other hand, which piece of the armor do you struggle to keep up with? I can't wait to read where our army is strongest and where we struggle so that we can pray for one another with specificity, the way that soldiers cover one another in battle. Be Blessed. XOXO
Home
His name is O. He's the lead, funny-looking, purple character man in the animated film Home. As a kid movie critic, I'll insert that this movie is definitely worth the RedBox wait if you haven't seen it already. I won't spoil the movie, but near the end, O, who is from an alien planet says this poignant line, "I has a new start on a new home and now everyday is best day ever." Aside from his broken English, he makes one strong point to which we, as God's people, can relate.
Some of us forget that this earth is not our permanent home. Some of us focus way too much on the matters of this world, giving very little thought to what's next. I know for me, this perspective becomes most difficult to manage because I can't see my new home. I don't know what to expect. I mean I've heard ministers and read passages, but I don't know for myself, which is the opposite of home to me. Home is supposed to be familiar and comfortable and known. It's like the place you begin and the place you go back to, so the feeling of home is often far away from me when I think about Heaven.
How do we change our daily mindset that "earth is home" into one that views "heaven as home"? I honestly don't know. But, in 1st Thessalonians 4, the Word gives us some starting points that equate to a few things to think about:
13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
1. We must be informed about those who fall asleep in the Lord. They are simply sleeping until His return. They will live again. This is hard for me because I see death as such a permanent thing. It's been 12 years since my mom died, and I'm still working on this shift in thinking.
2. Our grief should look a little differently than that of the world. We should be sad and we should miss the deceased party, but we are to have a hope within our sadness that we will meet again. This part helps. I know my mom and granny and daddy and so many other loved ones are resting with the Lord, so it helps to know they are okay. Even though this helps, there are honestly days it still hurts.
3. The ones of us who are still alive have it the worst. Why? Because we are strangers in a foreign land. We don't always understand the natives and they look at us strangely sometimes. No matter how deceived we may be, this is not our permanent residence. So, the way they do things and the way they treat us will not always be comfortable because we don't belong here.
4. We are waiting for our Daddy to come pick us up. We are visiting this earth for our lifetime, however long or short that may be, much like going to spend the night at a friend's house or the summer with out-of-town relatives. But, if we are waiting for Daddy to come get us, we have to be ready. Have your bags packed-get to know Him for yourself. Call Him and talk to Him-pray without ceasing. Check in and let Daddy know we are okay!
5. Encourage one another. We have to have each other's backs. We need to be able to help one another stand on the Word and its promises for our lives and the lives of our loved ones during times of grief and bereavement.
In the end, these instructions are to help prepare us for our new home. In that new home, we will have a new start. There will be no more pain and sorrow. No more hurt and despair. No more betrayal and loneliness. No more corruption and deceit. No more divorce, death, injury, job loss, financial burdens...NO MORE! We will have a new home with a new start and everyday will be the-Best. Day. FOREVER! Be Blessed. XOXO
1. We must be informed about those who fall asleep in the Lord. They are simply sleeping until His return. They will live again. This is hard for me because I see death as such a permanent thing. It's been 12 years since my mom died, and I'm still working on this shift in thinking.
2. Our grief should look a little differently than that of the world. We should be sad and we should miss the deceased party, but we are to have a hope within our sadness that we will meet again. This part helps. I know my mom and granny and daddy and so many other loved ones are resting with the Lord, so it helps to know they are okay. Even though this helps, there are honestly days it still hurts.
3. The ones of us who are still alive have it the worst. Why? Because we are strangers in a foreign land. We don't always understand the natives and they look at us strangely sometimes. No matter how deceived we may be, this is not our permanent residence. So, the way they do things and the way they treat us will not always be comfortable because we don't belong here.
4. We are waiting for our Daddy to come pick us up. We are visiting this earth for our lifetime, however long or short that may be, much like going to spend the night at a friend's house or the summer with out-of-town relatives. But, if we are waiting for Daddy to come get us, we have to be ready. Have your bags packed-get to know Him for yourself. Call Him and talk to Him-pray without ceasing. Check in and let Daddy know we are okay!
5. Encourage one another. We have to have each other's backs. We need to be able to help one another stand on the Word and its promises for our lives and the lives of our loved ones during times of grief and bereavement.
In the end, these instructions are to help prepare us for our new home. In that new home, we will have a new start. There will be no more pain and sorrow. No more hurt and despair. No more betrayal and loneliness. No more corruption and deceit. No more divorce, death, injury, job loss, financial burdens...NO MORE! We will have a new home with a new start and everyday will be the-Best. Day. FOREVER! Be Blessed. XOXO
Help Wanted
Yesterday, while in Aldi, there was an elderly white woman in front of me at the checkout. She had a lot going on in that basket, but she was frail and old, so I offered to help. I grabbed the case of pineapples she had and placed them on the belt.
"Oh no honey," she said. "Those don't go there, place them here." And with that, she moved them to the back of the belt.
I noticed she had a case of boxed evaporated milk on the bottom of her cart. She bent down.
"I'll grab those for you ma'am," I said.
"Oh no honey, I'll do it myself, but thank you anyway."
In a slight panic, I responded, "Please don't lift that box ma'am."
Looking at the cashier in despair, I asked, "Can you scan those from where they are so she doesn't have to lift them?"
"I surely can," replied the bubbly cashier (BTW: I love Aldi cashiers!).
After she was completely checked out, a young father holding his toddler asked the woman if she needed help to her car.
"No honey, that's okay," she said with the same spunk as earlier. "I can do it."
Handing his pretty baby girl off to her mom, he said to the old woman, "I hear you, but I'm probably going to walk out with you anyway."
When they got to the car, he lifted the pineapples and the milk into the trunk for her, Then, he returned her basket (and ran her quarter back to her).
I thought about me. I thought about God. I thought about you. I thought about God. I thought about me and others and you and others. So many of us are overly independent. We are so used to being on our own and doing things ourselves that we don't accept help. We have been a single mother for so long that when we date a nice man who offers to help, we reject it. We have been successful at our jobs for so long that when a co-worker offers to help on a project, we reject it. We have planned so many events and pulled off so many things with no one's help, that when it is offered, we don't know how to accept it.
I don't know about you, but I'm like this in so many ways. Being the only child for 7 years and the oldest of 4, you learn to do a lot on your own. I can clean an entire house in 2 hours flat- by myself. I can pack an entire house in less than a day-by myself. I can plan and execute an entire unit flawlessly-by myself. That said, it can sometimes be hard for me to accept other people's help. Just like this sweet little white lady at Aldi.
It's funny though. God created Adam and then specifically said this: It is not good for man to be alone. No man is an island! So many of us are bogged down with full plates and no more space but still more to pile on because we don't ask for help. Some of the best leaders are the kind who do what? Delegate responsibility. Delegation is the transfer of responsibility into small pieces from the larger whole. Basically, many hands make for light work. Having others to help is what makes for the best situation in our lives.
Relinquishing responsibility for someone to help is a matter of trust. So basically, when we don't seek help or receive it when it's offered, we are saying we don't trust the other person. In the words of both Michelles from Full House: HOW RUDE! If you have been stressed at work and your boss offers to help you finish that last bit so you can get home, TAKE IT! If you have been overwhelmed by that baby or those kiddos and a good friend asks to take them off your hands for the day, LET THEM! If you have a lot of ripping and running to do for the birthday party and a family member offers to pick up some of the items, RECEIVE THAT! We were not designed to work alone all the time. There are times when we need help. Sometimes that help is clearly divine and only God can do it. Other times, God places the right people in the right places at the right time, but we have to be willing enough to ACCEPT IT!
As I reflect on how much help that woman attempted to turn down and how much help still came her way, it helped me see more clearly that sometimes God wants us to take a load off. I especially think about how our independence can even interfere with God's help. The young man walked her out to her car against her wishes. He didn't forcefully take her basket or push her aside, he walked by her side. Allowing her to be as independent as she wished until he saw her struggling. After that, she trusted him to take the basket back for her and bring her back that quarter! The same thing goes for us. Sometimes, God makes sure that we have all the help we need, even when we don't want it. Sometimes, He just walks beside us and waits until He sees us start to struggle. Then, He reaches in and helps us, right on time. After that, we start to trust Him more and more to lighten our load.
Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laiden and I will give you rest." My prayer for us today is that we take help when it is offered. That we learn to delegate and trust others to be responsible enough to get things done, even when we know we could do it ourselves. I pray that we let God use His other creations to ease our own burdens. I pray that we receive all the help God has available to us. I pray that we even begin to trust and accept so freely that we reach a point where help doesn't even have to be offered because we are unafraid to ask for it. Be Blessed. XOXO
"Oh no honey," she said. "Those don't go there, place them here." And with that, she moved them to the back of the belt.
I noticed she had a case of boxed evaporated milk on the bottom of her cart. She bent down.
"I'll grab those for you ma'am," I said.
"Oh no honey, I'll do it myself, but thank you anyway."
In a slight panic, I responded, "Please don't lift that box ma'am."
Looking at the cashier in despair, I asked, "Can you scan those from where they are so she doesn't have to lift them?"
"I surely can," replied the bubbly cashier (BTW: I love Aldi cashiers!).
After she was completely checked out, a young father holding his toddler asked the woman if she needed help to her car.
"No honey, that's okay," she said with the same spunk as earlier. "I can do it."
Handing his pretty baby girl off to her mom, he said to the old woman, "I hear you, but I'm probably going to walk out with you anyway."
When they got to the car, he lifted the pineapples and the milk into the trunk for her, Then, he returned her basket (and ran her quarter back to her).
I thought about me. I thought about God. I thought about you. I thought about God. I thought about me and others and you and others. So many of us are overly independent. We are so used to being on our own and doing things ourselves that we don't accept help. We have been a single mother for so long that when we date a nice man who offers to help, we reject it. We have been successful at our jobs for so long that when a co-worker offers to help on a project, we reject it. We have planned so many events and pulled off so many things with no one's help, that when it is offered, we don't know how to accept it.
I don't know about you, but I'm like this in so many ways. Being the only child for 7 years and the oldest of 4, you learn to do a lot on your own. I can clean an entire house in 2 hours flat- by myself. I can pack an entire house in less than a day-by myself. I can plan and execute an entire unit flawlessly-by myself. That said, it can sometimes be hard for me to accept other people's help. Just like this sweet little white lady at Aldi.
It's funny though. God created Adam and then specifically said this: It is not good for man to be alone. No man is an island! So many of us are bogged down with full plates and no more space but still more to pile on because we don't ask for help. Some of the best leaders are the kind who do what? Delegate responsibility. Delegation is the transfer of responsibility into small pieces from the larger whole. Basically, many hands make for light work. Having others to help is what makes for the best situation in our lives.
Relinquishing responsibility for someone to help is a matter of trust. So basically, when we don't seek help or receive it when it's offered, we are saying we don't trust the other person. In the words of both Michelles from Full House: HOW RUDE! If you have been stressed at work and your boss offers to help you finish that last bit so you can get home, TAKE IT! If you have been overwhelmed by that baby or those kiddos and a good friend asks to take them off your hands for the day, LET THEM! If you have a lot of ripping and running to do for the birthday party and a family member offers to pick up some of the items, RECEIVE THAT! We were not designed to work alone all the time. There are times when we need help. Sometimes that help is clearly divine and only God can do it. Other times, God places the right people in the right places at the right time, but we have to be willing enough to ACCEPT IT!
As I reflect on how much help that woman attempted to turn down and how much help still came her way, it helped me see more clearly that sometimes God wants us to take a load off. I especially think about how our independence can even interfere with God's help. The young man walked her out to her car against her wishes. He didn't forcefully take her basket or push her aside, he walked by her side. Allowing her to be as independent as she wished until he saw her struggling. After that, she trusted him to take the basket back for her and bring her back that quarter! The same thing goes for us. Sometimes, God makes sure that we have all the help we need, even when we don't want it. Sometimes, He just walks beside us and waits until He sees us start to struggle. Then, He reaches in and helps us, right on time. After that, we start to trust Him more and more to lighten our load.
Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laiden and I will give you rest." My prayer for us today is that we take help when it is offered. That we learn to delegate and trust others to be responsible enough to get things done, even when we know we could do it ourselves. I pray that we let God use His other creations to ease our own burdens. I pray that we receive all the help God has available to us. I pray that we even begin to trust and accept so freely that we reach a point where help doesn't even have to be offered because we are unafraid to ask for it. Be Blessed. XOXO
Sunday, June 7, 2015
What's your status?
This past weekend, my younger cousin updated his FB status from "single" to "in a relationship". His big sister's response: I'm waiting for you to arrange my meet and greet. That opened the floodgates for all the female family members.
After acquiring said girlfriend's FB credentials, a full-on femme investigation began. We don't know this girl, so if our family is claiming her, we need details. It is almost comical how our family is when it comes to dating. There is no double standard - everyone gets sized up!
This whole incident made me think about our relationship with God. What is our status? Are we single and therefore trying to navigate the deep and troubled waters of the world without God's help? Is it "complicated" and we don't know which way to go? Some days, we love and honor God. Other days, not so much! Or, can we honestly say that we are "in a relationship" with Him?
James 4:8 encourages us to draw nearer to God so He can draw nearer to us. Sounds like a first date at the movies to me! The girl leaning heavily in toward her date. The guy pretending to yawn and stretching his arm around her chair. After more attempts to draw near, the couple is cuddled and staring at the screen. This is the visual of the verse. Before we can establish a relationship with God, we have to date Him by drawing closer to who He is and who we are through Him.
Now many of us have been guilty of standing God up. We inboxed Him or sent Him a direct message asking to hook up. But, when the time comes, we are a no show, over and over again. We don't pray. We don't read our Word. We act up and leave Him waiting.
But the good news is that He's STILL waiting! He wants nothing more than a relationship with each and every one of us. In Revelations 3, God tells us that He is knocking on our door. He says that if we hear His voice and open that door, He is coming in! When He does, we will eat with Him and He with us. We have a standing dinner date with the Big Homie! All we have to do is let Him in!
Wouldn't it be awesome if we professed our relationship with God the same way we do with man? What if we updated and upgraded that status with public notice? How much different would our relationship with God be if we told the world? Just like a new couple smitten with love or a pair of newlyweds, we'd shut off from the world for a time. We would be wrapped up in the warmth and freshess of our new status. We would talk all day, everyday. We'd get butterflies in our stomach to be in His presence. We would blush and get goosebumps every time we heard His name.
And that would raise questions! People would want to know who this person is that has this effect on us. They would want to meet Him for themselves. Our relationship would encourage others to establish their own! Unlike two thirsty females brawling over some fake hip hop icon, we would delight in sharing our God because there's is actually enough of Him to go around!
Today, I pray that all of us open the door to our hearts and let God in. I pray we try our best to not stand Him up but to show up willing to be used by Him for the building of the Kingdom. I pray that when the going gets rough (because that happens in relationships) we remember His promise to NEVER leave us. He's not going anywhere. This is a permanent relationship, no matter what. I pray we put the world on notice that we are in a committed relationship with God. So, we may look, act, and feel differently...because that's what falling in love will do to ya! Be Blessed. XOXO
Friday, June 5, 2015
Wasted Redemption
If you haven't gotten a chance to check out the Richard Pryor documentary, it's a must see. Aside from being one of the most hilarious spirits to have ever graced the earth, his story is one of heart-wrenching disappointment and awe-striking success! So many times, his life seemed bleak, beyond repair, not worth living. For a man with so much, he spiritually had so little. His hope was often unseen and his thoughts and fears seemed to rule him. But soooo many times, he was redeemed, given another chance to bring smiles and laughter to the world.
All of us have been redeemed. God has given us so many outs. You bought new shoes when the rent was due, but you still have a place to stay. You drank too much that night, but made it home alive, without a DWI. You slipped up with no condom yet the HIV and pregnancy tests were negative. She saw those text messages you shouldn't have sent, but she forgave you...
See? God is in the business of redeeming us all, giving each and every one of us another chance to get it right. But the question is...what are we going to do with it?
Sometimes, the more chances God gives us, the more we take His mercy for granted. The Word says that He will turn is over to ourselves, which means if we keep telling Him we like life on the edge and doing things out of His will, the time will come for Him to step aside and let us feel the full brunt of those choices. I don't know about you, but I've been there. Kept pushing the limits until they weakened and broke. Then, it was too late.
When we fail to live in our redemption, we face a road to repair. Sometimes that road is tougher than we could have ever imagined. Is our salvation stripped? Nope. Is all hope lost? Nah. But recovering from wasted redemption takes time, time you could be using to build God's Kingdom. It's my prayer that the next time we feel the blessing of God's redemption, we try our best to steer clear of needing it in that same way again. None of us knows His next move, so better safe than sorry. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so...Be Blessed. XOXO
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