Accept My Peace

A sign of spiritual maturity is acceptance. To accept God's will is to understand how powerless we are compared to Him. God gives and takes away. God provides and withholds. God is merciful, yet he will teach us. Because of God's sovereignty, we are sometimes caught off-guard...

That's where I am right now. What is happening right now has left me helpless in a way that is unfamiliar to me. When my siblings are in a bind, even since before my mom died, I've been able to help them "fix" it. When they were little, I changed diapers, prepared bottles, and bounced wailing babies. As they got older, it was homework, the desire to grow their hair, a fight at school, or shoot, most often, a fight with one another. And now, in their adulthood, it's questions about relationships, careers...life. Regardless, I have the answers. I have the fix. I am their Olivia Pope, their gladiator! No matter how annoyed I can get with them, or them with me; I am their protector, their advisor, their advocate.

In the last few weeks, God has revealed to me that this position comes with limitations. There will be times that He allows things to befall them that I simply cannot fix. This is hard. It makes me question life. It makes me question God. I even find myself feeling guilty. In the moments I've tried to continue with "normal" life, I have felt like laughter is betrayal. Living isn't fair. Peace is perplexing.

But then I feel the Spirit, reminding me that peace, and all that it entails, doesn't come from me. Sometimes, in the midst of our storms, we hold ourselves hostage in the prison of pain. We refuse to take advantage of the moments of release. God wants us to feel the brunt of all that we are allowed to endure. After all, the test of trials come to make us strong. However, God also wants us to let Him in. I've felt that.

When the tears are gone, I wonder why I've stopped crying. Then, I am reminded that it will all work out. When the worries subside, even if only for a short time, I wonder why my mind is still. Then, I am reminded that God provides a peace that surpasses all understanding. I've been here before. This helpless, powerless place. I don't have the fix; I definitely lack answers; yet I have peace. It's not always noticeable, but it is always there. It doesn't always dominate how I feel, but still, it is there.

Maybe you are in a storm today. If so, there are times you may have to will yourself out of bed, or times you can't see past the pain. But, there are also those seconds, moments, or even days where you are blessed with a piece of peace. Accept it. There will be enough days filled with tears, hurt, and sorrow. Any moment that you can feel the comfort of God, take it. Without questioning, without guilt, with nothing but the pure faith that His reassurance is upon you. Be Blessed XOXO