Maybe It's Me?

A few weeks ago, the Big Homie and I met up for breakfast. As we placed our orders, the differences in our culinary tastes couldn't be more pronounced. I ordered my eggs over medium; he ordered his fried hard. When our dishes were served, my eggs were perfect while his looked way too similar to what I requested. Once his fork hit the egg and yolk came oozing out, he raised his brow, tilted his head, and said, "I must have said the wrong thing." I affirmed him immediately, "No you didn't. I heard you say fried hard. You want to send them back or are you cool?" Of course he responds, "Nah it's not that big of a deal," and turns his attention to the other delectable items on his plate.

This seems really small, but I was amazed at how he instantaneously took accountability for the mishap. Instead of looking for someone to blame, or trying to find a way to win, he started with himself. He didn't say, "Why would they bring me the same eggs as you when I specifically said 'fried hard'?" He didn't ask for the server or seek a manager. The FIRST thing out of his mouth was the most humble thing...maybe it's me?

Now, this is NOT a natural trait of mine. Why? Because I don't like to be wrong. I want everyone to recognize this fun-fact: I'M ALWAYS RIGHT! To know me is to know this most fallacious truth about my personality. As I am growing older, gaining more life experiences, and strengthening my spiritual muscles, I'm starting to understand that this type of thinking has many deep-rooted beginnings. First, I'm smart. Part of being smart is getting things "right" all the time. Secondly, I'm the oldest. Being the oldest means the little ones are relying on me for answers, so I have to have them. Lastly, I'm articulate. When I speak, people listen, so I NEED to be right. However, there are other roots as well. To want to be right all the time is to also be selfish. It's to consider your opinions or knowledge greater than another's. It's looking for someone to be wrong. It's trying to find a place to set the blame. It's to be ill-compassioned, inconsiderate, or simply to lack understanding of others.

Now some of you are shaking your heads and thinking to yourselves, "I'm glad I'm not like that." I'd challenge you to really self-reflect. When you enter into a controversial discussion with another person, is your aim to gain a new perspective OR to get them to see that you are right? When you argue with your loved ones, is your goal to better understand them OR to shut them down? When you converse with someone and you have different viewpoints, are you speaking to learn OR are you talking to win? Most people are on the wrong side of the tracks when they TRUTHFULLY respond to these questions. This means that humility is an area where many of us can grow.

Humility means that we are less concerned with ourselves and more concerned with the greater good. A humble person doesn't always have to be right. A humble person doesn't have to flip a table when their order is messed up at a restaurant. No. A humble person starts with self. Philipians tells us to HUMBLY value others above ourselves.  The book of Proverbs says to be humble is to fear the Lord. And Ephesians tells us to bear with one another in love by being BOTH humble and gentle. You see, humility is kind of "up there" on the Most High's list of things for us to do. When we are operating in a space of "rightness" we are typically not moving toward His call to "righteousness". The next time you find yourself on the opposite side of an issue or questioning how to handle the mistakes of another, start with yourself. In the infamous words of MJ, talk with the man in the mirror! Stay humble my friends, and Be Blessed. XOXO

Selective Sinner

I sin. I mean, I knowingly do things that don't align with God's Word. I like, completely and utterly and consistently SIN! Now, I don't mean that, "OMG! I can't believe I did that, let me repent. Father God please forgive me" type of sin. I mean I definitely do that too, but those are a bit different than the sin I'm actually referring to right now. You see, I sin for real. I cuss...especially when I'm upset or passionate about a subject. I don't curse. That's a bit more classy and less frequent. Nah, I cuss...for real. I lie. Did I really "oversleep" and that's why I'm running late? Orrrr did I actually "sleep in" and THAT's why I'm late? I could go on and on, but ya'll don't need to be ALL up in my business like that, so I'll park the car here: I SIN.

However, I find it interesting that even though I sin, I can sometimes have the audacity to look at others differently...because they sin! It's laughable almost. Like who the hell do I think I am?!? (See, there goes the verge of cussing.) And if you are being honest with yourself, many of you are the same way. You sin. Day in and day out, there is something you are consistently doing that you KNOW is not of God. Sometimes we excuse it like, "I mean that's just how I am," or "This is just the way things are 'around here'." Because we are comfortable WITH our sin or we have company IN our sin, we start to believe that it's really not all that bad. Yet, when someone sins in a way that we aren't comfortable with, we have a TOTALLY different perspective!

Case in point: A man walks into a strip club with his homies. They all pay for lap dances and have a great time! If you've EVER been to a strip club, you know that they are indeed having a GREAT time! Not a big deal right? But then, that same man gets word that a friend of his is having an affair. He's upset and disappointed with his friend for cheating on his wife. Interesting...both of these men had lust at the root of their actions. Both of these men were physically involved with a woman they weren't married to. However, because the world tells us that strip clubs aren't a bad thing and that's "just what men do" then he found it easy to accept his behavior, yet condemn his friend. Now I KNOW some people are logging off as we speak...

Here's another one: An unmarried woman has taken contraceptives much of her adult life. Why? Because she has no desire to become pregnant until she has a husband. She sees another unmarried woman at Aldi with 4 children and another on the way. She turns her nose up at this fertile Myrtle, and especially gets irritated when the woman swipes her EBT card! But both women are clearly engaging in pre-marital sex to some degree. Although, one is able to or simply chooses to mask hers a bit more than the other, they are both still sinners.

What's my point? It's definitely not to give off the false idea that I have the answers because I certainly don't! But here is what I do know-too many of us find a way to use other people's seemingly WORSE sins to make us feel better about our own. We look at people who steal like they are the scum of the earth, but we have been guilty of taking people's love and breaking hearts. We look at people who kill like they should rot in hell, but the Word says the power of life and death lie in our tongues and some of us *raises hand SKY HIGH* have said things to people that were DEFINITELY deadly to their souls. WE ALL SIN! EVERYONE! Yes, even the pastor in the pulpit sins (all them big booties walking around church you think he ain't noticed at least one!?! C'mon man!) Sometimes we sin on the surface for everyone to see. Sometimes we sin on the low, and only God knows. Regardless of how you do it, when you do it, where you do it, YOU DO IT! So chill out on coming for other people. Relax your opinions about others' actions. Instead, love people despite their transgressions. We are all at different points in our spiritual journey. We all have different views about right and wrong. At the end of the day, the best thing we can offer one another is love because we are fully aware that as much as ALL of us sin, we could ALL use a little bit more lovin'! Be Blessed. XOXO