Veins

The other day, I was working out at the YMCA and I saw an older, lighter complected woman walking in front of me. Her legs had seen the world. Her skin had experienced many angles of the sun. She was aged with wisdom that one could only hope to gain. The tiny veins in her legs criss-crossed one another in various shades of blue, red, and purple. They overlapped, intertwined, connected, departed, and reunited up and down her calves. I began to think about life's journey...

In life, we reach many milestones, we see many things, and we have a tendency to come to many crossroads. Should we marry or stay single? Should I go back to school or pick up a part-time job? Should I go to her house or head home? Should I give him my number or pretend not to speak English? No matter what, we are faced with choices daily.

 

Crossroads are an inevitable part of life, but some of them have a direct impact on life's overall journey, some of them impact others, others determine the ones that will follow. For instance, the crossroad of whether or not I'm cooking dinner or stopping by Chipotle matters. But does it matter as much as the crossroad of whether you should try to work things out with your baby's mother or head to court to work out the future details? You see? Some of our crossroads are more impactful than others. 

But here's the good news. God knows exactly where each and every one of us will end up. Do we get to make choices? Yep. Will some of those choices be detrimental? Yes...in some ways. However, others will be right on the money. As imperfect as we are, as foolish as out choices can be, God still has a plan for us. To grow and to know that at each milestone, at each crossroad, we will be one step closer to the fate that He has predestined for us. Live, love, and choose wisely my friends. Be Blessed XOXO

Refuse

You ever had one of those days where everything that could go wrong seems to do just that? Like Alexander's No Good Very Bad Horrible Day type stuff? That was my life last Saturday. 

I could have slept in, but my body betrayed me and woke up at 7 AM. Like whhhyyyyy??? So, I went to the gym, trying to do right by my "get fit" plan. However, no machines I like were available. So, I had to look like a dufus while learning to operate a new one. Since I got such an early start to my day, I figured I'd get my nails done. But of course, unbeknownst to me, there's an art fair in the area! There are absolutely NO parking spaces. So I continue my morning calorie burn and trek 2 blocks. I get to the nail shop 4 minutes after they open, and all of the techs are already with clients. Like how?? So, I walk around the corner for coffee. Oh! The line is out of the door long! #FixItJesus

Headed home there's an accident on the highway and unexpected traffic. Get ready to head out to my niece's birthday party and my son's asthma decides to show up in full force. One nebulizer treatment and 4 inhaler puffs later, we are finally out the door! We arrive only 10 minutes late...to the wrong damn party location! #ThisCantBeLife 

Driving to the REAL party, there is construction that plops me in bumper to bumper traffic. Moving at a snail's pace, the GPS and detour signs send me in a complete circle only to bring us back around to the party location which was milliseconds from where our original journey began. #JesusTakeTheWheel

Needless to say, I was frustrated as hell. I literally squeezed the steering wheel tightly, jerked my body back and forth against it, and let out a gut-wrenching, "AAAAGGGHHH," causing my kids to jump and then giggle. My sister and play sister laughed at me as they listened through the car speakers to my outrage and then my reinforced statement, "I refuse to have a bad day. I'm for real! I bet I don't. I bet my day gone get better. And I'm writing a letter to the mayor of Lee's Summit for this construction plan! But I'm NOT going to have a bad day!" I refused to have a bad day. I absolutely refused! The sun was shining. The weather was nice. We were alive and well. Was I irritated? Yep. Frustrated? Uh-huh. Annoyed? Hell yeah! But I refused to have a bad day.

There are 24 hours in every, single day. That's 1,440 minutes. That's 86,400 seconds! Sometimes you have to refuse to let the fleeting moments within a day determine your actual day. You have to refuse to give in to the minutes and push through to the last hour. Things might start out shaky or go left or even end on a sour note, but that is not the ENTIRETY of the day. And so it is in life. There will be good times, not-so-good times, and downright bad times. However, this doesn't equate to a bad life. Our outlook, our mindset, our faith, all determine what is actually good or bad. Perspective is everything. I'm sure if you did the math, for every "bad" thing you face, you can name at least 2 good things. Refuse to let a few uncomfortable seconds determine the outcome of your day. Be Blessed XOXO

HANGRY!

Post-work text message: Babe, what's up for dinner?

Kids get in the car from school: Mama I'm hongry!

Kids wake up on Saturday: Mama what's for breakfast?

Sister stops by: What ya'll got to eat? 

Student comes by my office: Mrs. Smith you got some food? 

A typical day in my life involves at least 1,000 people asking me about food, and I get it! I eat 3 meals a day. Count them...3. When I don't eat, there is a short period of time before I go from simply hungry to down right HANGRY! Our bodies need to eat. It's not optional. Many of us are blessed enough to be so comfortable that when we get hungry, we are able to satisfy that hunger by opening the fridge or stopping at a restaurant. Regardless, if we have the means, as soon as our bodies indicate that we are hungry, we are going to do everything in our power to solve it. Why? Because to be hungry is not a great feeling.

The Spirit is the same way. Many of us are spiritually hungry. Some of us are downright famished because we are missing out on what we need to feed our souls. That could be not going to church regularly. Staying at a church that no longer provides what you need. Not reading. Not praying. Not encouraging. Not being encouraged. Being alone too often. Not practicing solitude enough. Doing too much in life, but not enough for the Spirit. 

I can only speak for myself when I say that I know what it's like to be hungry in the Spirit. Lately, I haven't been as full as my soul would like. I need to up my intake in the Spirit, but I'm struggling. As a result, I can find myself moody or temperamental or worried or doubtful. Very similarly to how I feel when I go from hungry to HANGRY! Sometimes, I even find myself feeling empty, and it's hard to get around in this life when your soul is on E.

Much like food is the source of our physical energy, interacting with God is the source of our spiritual energy. Now let's be clear, this looks a BUNCH of different ways, so don't let someone else's idea of a "healthy spiritual diet" determine your own. This could mean starting your day with devotion or meditation. This could be a walk in the park, enjoying the solitude of nature and the beauty of God's creation. Maybe brunch with friends over mimosas, sharing your wins and losses, encouraging one another to keep on keeping on. It could be Bible study, Sunday school, church service or revival. It could be an audiobook or daily devotional. Journaling. Going to therapy. Having a long overdue conversation with a loved one. Resting. Sitting in silence. Praying. Drawing. Watching something life-changing on television. So many ways to get in touch with God's presence. Regardless of how we do it, we must do it soon. Fill our Spirits with the presence of God, the knowledge of God, the realness of God, so that we satisfy our hunger. Eat well, stay full, and Be Blessed XOXO

Hostage

We've all seen it. The scene in a film where someone has taken a group of captives hostage, refusing to let them go. Oftentimes, this scene concludes with a kick-ass negotiator talking the captives free or a never-miss sniper gunning the suspect down. Every now and then, they go the extra mile with fatalities in the midst of the hostile situation, but this is rare. One thing that all of the scenarios have in common is someone being held against their will. They are in a space and time that they did not choose. No matter what, they can't seem to break free.

I don't know about you, but I've been there in my own life. In these nearly 40 years on Earth, I've grown quite a bit. I'm not the same Shanelle from Longfellow Elementary, Lincoln Prep, or even Fisk University. There are elements of my core that are the same, but I'm honestly a much different version of myself. One who has endured way more of what life has to offer and the experiences have shaped new ideas, opinions, responses, reactions, or even the desire to be present in certain situations or around certain people. Face it. If you are the same person today that you were 20 years ago, you're missing life's lessons. If not, you are moving along on this journey called life to become who God intended you to be by growing and changing...evolving so to speak.

However, sometimes, we can find ourselves being held hostage to who we used to be. I know that this has happened to me. I have held myself hostage, forgetting that I've grown past certain mindsets and actions. People around me have held me hostage, not honoring my new self because they are more comfortable or more familiar with the old one. You used to be quick to pop off at the mouth, but now you're more likely to think before you speak. You used to be quick to fight, but now you walk away and cuss under your breath. You used to like to club and get drunk and have lots of sex, now you just want to go home and binge watch Netflix enjoying your beverages in your PJs and fuzzy socks. You used to say this, do that, think this, be that! You used to...but now you don't. 

People will hold you hostage to who you used to be because it takes too much work to get to know and honor the new you. You will hold yourself hostage to who you used to be because it scares you to think of who you may become. The world will hold you hostage to who you used to be because if you grow and change, that could inspire others to do the same. Don't you see? Don't you get it? Let God snipe anyone or anything that tries to act as a stronghold to keep you from growing in His grace and mercy. Let Him negotiate the minds and precepts of others while you walk in the freedom of your new self. If you are being held hostage by yourself or someone else, it's time to be set free and truly Be Blessed XOXO