Living Water

So this past weekend I was blessed to celebrate love and marriage with my aunt. During the event, I had my share of "open bar" wine. We danced. We laughed. We enjoyed one another's company well into the night. Since the passing of my mom and granny, this time together has become a rarity. I was in euphoria.

The next morning, I felt the brunt force of that euphoria. That "open bar" wine reminded me of my body's limits. Needless to say, my family had breakfast without me and the first half of the 8 hour car ride from Chicago to Kansas City was less than pleasant.

Once my body was ready to receive it, I consumed a boat load of water. Here, 4 days post "open bar" wine, I can't get enough water. It's all I want. It's all I crave. As much as I love my wine, I haven't the slightest taste for it at the moment. I. Want. Water! I mean seriously, it almost tastes differently...even better than before. 

Much like our bodies, our spirits have a natural thirst. When we try to fill ourselves with anything but the living water, we sometimes find ourselves having a rough time. Instead of going to God in prayer, we go to the club. Instead of fasting, waiting to hear from Him, we make hasty decisions. We try to quench our spiritual thirst with everything but God's love. Yet, we wonder: Why do I feel so parched?

Today, I pray for those of us who are spiritually dehydrated. At any given point, in any given season, on any given day, this could be the condition of each and every one of us. I pray we purge and focus. That our spirits get ready to receive the living water. That once we taste it, it becomes all we crave, all we want, all we desire. I pray that as we grow in the Spirit that it even tastes differently...better with each victory God affords us. Be Blessed. XOXO

Shock and Awe

Last night, we threw one of my dearest friends a farewell party. As usual, the kids were in the back and the adults were in the front. I heard yelling, but paid it no mind because kids get loud. However, the yelling didn't stop and it didn't sound friendly. I went to the back to find my son and his girl "cousin" in a tussle. I...LOST IT!

After tossing my son into a room and having a heated conversation amidst other forms of discipline, I got the whole story from my "niece" and chastised all my nephews as well. They are kids. They are boys. They needed this lesson sooner than later.

My "niece" and I had a private conversation about trying to avoid physical encounters with guys. My son and I had a private conversation about why his hands should never be on a woman except in love. He cried. He went to talk to his "cousin" in private. He apologized to her for hitting her. She apologized to him for hitting him. He promised to never do it again. She said she knew he wouldn't and neither would she. She opened her arms for a hug. They hugged, cried, then shyly smiled at one another.

I saw in those kids the love of God. Sometimes, there are things that we honestly don't know are "not okay" until we do them. The aftermath shows us that maybe that thing wasn't a good idea. Sometimes, we will make choices that have harsh and swift consequences. Sometimes we will find ourselves in positions we'd rather not be in. There will be times that what we choose to do alters a relationship or a circumstance for the worst. Sometimes...experience is the best teacher.

But God. God is there to hear our repentance. With tears in our eyes and shame in our hearts, we come to Him in private. He listens to our apologies and the pleading in our voices. With an inexplicable love, He too opens His arms and takes us into His fold every, single time.

Some of us might need to have a private conversation with God today. We might need to apologize and seek forgiveness. We might need to hear Him say we're forgiven and feel the warmth of His embrace. Do it. Let Him assure you that His love, grace, mercy, and power are greater than any of your mistakes. Be Blessed. XOXO

Naked

Soooo...when I'm home alone, I wear minimal clothing? Why? Because it's just me, myself and I. If I can't be comfortable with myself, who can right? Stretch marks, muffin tops, jelly rolls, everywhere lol! But in those moments, I reminisce about a more toned physique. I remember to apply cocoa butter. I admire my hidden body art. And tracing the stretch marks beneath my navel, I often reflect on the blessing (and hard labors) of my baby boys.

However, I can't say that I'm as free with God. When we're alone, I don't always go to Him completely vulnerable, withholding nothing, naked before the King. Why not?  I mean after all, He is omniscient! But the reason is the same for me choosing not to wear a low-rise two-piece bathing suit! I'm embarrassed and don't want anyone to see my imperfection.

But God wants that. He wants us to bear our all to Him. To invite Him into our lives, even the not-so-pretty parts. Proverbs 28:13 says, "Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy." So, if we keep it 100 with God, He's welcoming to that. Why? Because He respects our honest confessions. Only then can He start to help us heal. Much like looking at our naked physical bodies reveals and reminds us of so much; disrobing our spirit's flaws, faults, and failures shows us (and God) our truest selves. Many of us want to change or be healed without having gotten deep to the source of our issues. We can't see the real problems if we're constantly covering things up. We can't grow from the sunshine  if we hide in the shade. So, the next chance you get, dance in the mirror,  be free, and pray with specificity by presenting your naked spirit before the all-knowing and all-powerful God. Be Blessed. XOXO

The Village People

While crossing many streets during our time in DC, we learned a lot about jaywalking and why it's not wise. However, one particular day, as we followed the traffic signal that gave us time to walk, danger fell upon us.

Trying to ensure that all 13 members in our party made it safely across the street, we darted across while the "WALK" signal flashed. The 3 older boys were of course in front, followed by Uncle Larnell. The rest of the party lazily dragging behind. As I looked down to make sure my youngest son's little legs didn't fail him, I hear Larnell yelling with urgent volume, "STOP! YA'LL STOP RUNNING NOW!" I look up to see a red car at top speed, making a left turn onto the street we're crossing. My oldest son is the first of the three boys running across the street. If he doesn't stop, he's hit by this bat out of hell and, most likely, dead. Upon hearing his uncle's voice, he and the other 2 boys stopped dead in their tracks.  Kaleb was inches away from what could have been his final foot race.

As a mom, the visual of that moment haunted me a bit over vacation. As a matter-of-fact, I'll probably never forget that day. But I thought about the importance of the  village. Both of my sons are being raised to obey the trusted authority in their lives. Immediate action happened when Kaleb heard his uncle's voice. He was halted dead in his tracks because he knows that voice. He trusts that voice. He obeys that voice.

Yep...you know where this is headed. How do we respond to God's authority?  When He speaks, do we take immediate action? Do we trust Him? Do we obey Him? Standing with a palpatating heart in the middle of a busy DC intersection I saw what it should look like, but I can't honestly say I always oblige.

Had Kaleb not listened and obeyed, something terrible could have happened. Much like life. We do our own thing. We hear God tell us to stop, but we don't. Sometimes, by His grace he spares us. Other times, the end result is terrible.

Today, I pray that we all be groomed to trust God's voice. That it become a familiar and frequent authority over our lives. From there, I pray our most immediate action and our continued obedience. And most importantly, I pray we raise our children to trust the ones we trust with their lives, especially the One through which they will have eternal life. Be careful out there. Be Blessed. XOXO

Get Over!

Picture the scene. We're riding along, en route to Washington DC, confidently following our GPS. We realize that the lead car in our train is going another way. The phone rings.

"What's going on over there?"
"Just following the GPS. "
"Well ours says something different."
"Aw, we're just following ours. I'm sure they'll both get us there."

Then, without warning, my husband dips over to get behind the lead car.

"Why you do that?"
"Well we just can't have them out here lost."
"They are probably saying the same thing about us."
"Yeah, but we gotta make sure they know where they are going. Better safe than sorry."

Interesting...first, the level of humility my husband has is quite the irritant at times. But, then there are times it's very attractive. In this instance, I'll admit, I was a bit annoyed. I thought to myself, Go your way and let them go theirs. No rules that say we GOTTA go the same way. But as I sat there, I saw the godly humility in him that draws me. He knew the way, but he wanted to make sure others also knew. Sounds a lot like the call of God's people. We can't have people out here lost. Sometimes, that requires us to fall back and be humble, not necessarily be out in front. And also to try not to leave people in our holy dust. Instead, we have to sometimes get over and ride behind people to help them find their way on this crazy highway of life.

Matthew 4:19 says, " And he said to them, “Follow me...". We have a spiritual navigator. He is our GPS God. Provides. Salvation. Our ultimate destination is heaven, through salvation and living under the Word of God. If that's the case, there are quite a few ways to get there. We'll all take our own paths. Sometimes our paths will cross. Sometimes, some of us will know the way and have to help others along. Either way, we are all trying to get to the same place. Some of us will lead, some of us will follow, but God is the ultimate guide...so we might need to get over to let Him lead us in the right direction. Be Blessed. XOXO

Technical Difficulties

So, my family and I are taking an extended road trip to DC and Charlotte. After packing our lives into organized chaos called luggage and getting everyone ready for the early morning departure,  I thought to myself, "Welp. Whatever we left, I can get at Walmart." As my kids slept in the back seat, I waited in anticipation to discover what I left. Anyone who's ever had to pack for a whole squad knows this is inevitable. After a brief restroom break, I saw my oldest son rummaging through his "fun bag". A few seconds go by and he asks, "Mama is my tablet in here?" Oh ____!

This is major for so many reasons. First, car rides with elementary age children require as much distraction as possible. Now, to know my son is to know that his tablet is his NUMBER ONE distraction! And instead of being in the car where it would serve it's best purpose, it was still sitting on the charger, in our home, hundreds of miles behind us.

He was visibly disappointed. He asked if I'd grabbed his DS. Nope. They were both in the charging station. So, he put on his headphones and watched Turbo. After a while, he asked his little brother to play his tablet. Then, he read a book. Meanwhile, I may or may not have shed a tear or two. No one can prove it, but if I did, the reason would be this: I felt like a bad mom.

Of all the things to leave?! Of all the kids to not have technology?! This was bad, real bad, Michael Jackson! I was upset. My husband tried to fix it Bless his heart, but bad timing because I snapped at him, "I can't remember EVERYTHING all the time!" He calmly said, "I know." And in that moment, God showed himself.

I saw my son's disappointed not trumped by his excitement for where we were headed. Like God knows the plans He has for us. Even though we disappoint Him sometimes, He is still excited for where we are headed. Whatever we do to shame us in His presence, it's not enough to remove Him from us.

Meanwhile, my husband's calm response to my frantic emotion was reassuring. Sometimes,  we find ourselves trying to keep it all together. We are working hard, caring for children, going to school, serving in church, and the pressure gets to us from time to time. We bend...a little more...a little more...then...SNAP! We break. It's too much. But God whispers to us, calmly, in the midst of our whirlwind emotions, "I know." He knows we are trying. He knows we are working hard. He allowed us to break to reassure us and remind us to rely on Him.

Finally, much like those devices, many of us are scared to leave our comfortable stations. Instead of serving our greater purposes, we are sitting, charging, waiting for the "perfect moment" to be used by God.  John 14:12 says, "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do..." We all have a purpose to do God's work. What good are we to this work if we stay parked on the charger?? The same way my sister is next day mailing those devices, I challenge us to get off the charger sooner than later. Until then...Be Blessed. XOXO

Weed Eater

So just like there are fruits of the Spirit, their are weeds to the Spirit. These are those traits that are anti-fruits. They seep into our lives and choke out what is meant for good. The fruit of the Spirit are those traits that help us be better in Christ and therefore better toward others. These weeds and pests that come into our minds, and lie dormant in our hearts, make us feel further away from Christ. This often causes us to not be our best when interacting with others. They are relationship killers because they take us to a space that pushes us away from Him and the rest of His creation.

People are working your nerves. You pray God's strength to not cuss anyone out. They keep trying you, over and over again. You're tired. The weed of anger and rage pops up, looking to latch on to your fruit of Forbearance. You hear a voice say, "Get'em." You wonder, "Why?" And then you feel it. Your blood boils. Your hands get hot. You've kept quiet and taken their mess for too long...

Someone close to you is abundantly blessed. Someone you love is experiencing a fruitful season. Lying in wait, the weed of jealousy begins to wrap itself around your fruit of Goodness. First, you find yourself shutting down and not congratulating them. Then, you make side comments or say things to other friends that belittle their accomplishments and blessings. You want those things for yourself. They don't deserve it. Why not you?

You are feeling stifled at your job. You are ready for a change or a promotion. Another co-worker goes on a streak. They shine. You second guess your ability. The weeds of self-doubt and low self-esteem seep into your fruitful garden and sucks the life out of your Joy. You find your attitude at work changing and your work ethic begins diminish. You couldn't do it anyway. You aren't a leader. You're meant to be where you are. Let them have the promotion. Just go ahead and give up.

You're happily married. Your spouse is a great partner. They support you and hold you down, no matter what. Sure, they don't look the same as when you first fell in love, but they're still a catch. Things couldn't be better on the home-front. Then, someone gives you the attention you didn't know you were missing. Or shows you the body or face that you can't tear your eyes from. You try to avoid them, but they keep popping up. Soon, the weeds of lust and adultery start to sprout up. It's innocent. You are talking more often. Butterflies form when you see them. It's just in fun. Flirtatious conversation ensues. We're just friends. A kiss. A hotel room. No one has to know. The color drains from your fruit of Faithfulness. It begins to slowly turn until, from the inside out, it completely rots.

These weeds are real. Mark 7:21-22 tells us that they live in our hearts. That would explain why the fruit of the Spirit is so hard to obtain. It has to fight for survival! These weeds play no games. They grow at an alarming rate. When they come in, we have to be on guard to kick them out. In order for us to get rid of them, we need weed kill and brush control-the kind that is only found in the Word. We have to arm ourselves with God's power. We have to spend time with Him and ask for His discernment in our lives. When we find our fruit being choked by weeds, we have plenty of time to save it. Unlike earthly fruit that falls, then fails and rots; our fruit comes from the Master Gardner. We have to allow Him to prune us and take away those pesky things that distract us from being a display of His glory. How? Prayer and meditation. Reading and doing His Word. Relying on the help of trusted confidants and advisers to water us and replenish us when in need. The weeds are going to come. How large they grow and how long they last is up to us. Today, I pray today that we snatch those things up by their roots and toss them out of our Godly Garden so they we remain righteous and ripe for His glory. Stay Fruitful. Be Blessed. XOXO

Da Clique

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. -Galatians 6:10 

The other day in my studies, I came across this scripture. The hood in me thought about Kanye West's hit, Da Clique. Why? Because this verse confirms for me we are a part of the God Gang! People who despise the word "gang" because of its negative connotation, I beg of you...lighten up! Live a little! If we can be soldiers in His army, we can be initiates in His gang. 

Ben Marchovitz, CEO of Collegiate Academies (a conglomerate of charter schools in New Orleans), once led a professional development session I was blessed to be a part of. In that session, he taught us about developing and maintaining both classroom and school culture. His two reference points? Church and gangs.

For so many of us who were brought up in church, we know why he chose this comparison. Church is the place where most people are on their best behavior most of the time. This is what schools want. This is what everyone wants. So, there is a strong culture of acting like you have some sense in church! There is also a huge level of comradery in church. The mothers of the church call everyone younger than them "baby" or "sweetie". Kids call each other cousins, even though there is no relation. Families work together in the ministry. It's a lovely thing. 

But what's the deal with gangs? Well, first off, initiates in gangs are looking for something. They are looking for love or friendship or just an escape from home. Is that not what we are all looking for in God? Next, they are completely committed to their gang. They represent wherever they go. They wear the colors, throw up the signs, and give the secret greetings. Should we not be the same way? Wherever we go (regardless of whether we are "supposed" to be there or not) we should be representing God right? We should wear His salvation like a badge of honor. We should throw His love into the lives of others. We should recognize other members of our gang wherever we may be. Also, gang members are always looking for new recruits. Their goal is to grow. They want to be the BIGGEST and BADDEST. Isn't that what we want? If there is an unbeliever in our midst, we should be all over them, initiating them into His love. Gang members are down for their own. If one of them lacks, they all pitch in to provide. If one of them gets hurt, they hold one another down. (Makes me think of Romans 12:15). Lastly, gang members are willing to die for their set. They believe whole-heartedly in the mission and vision. Shouldn't we? Shouldn't we be willing to die for our God? Shouldn't we believe WHOLE-HEARTEDLY? 

Welcome to the God Gang! Now let's be clear. We shouldn't be out here packing pieces in the name of Jesus, but we should be packing peace (see what I did there). Romans 12:5 and Corinthians 12:27 refer to us as the body of Christ. We are a part of a special group. We have a special connection. We have a special calling. Together, we are working to build the Kingdom. We have to be a fearless in the face of rivals. We have to stick together at all costs and hold one another down. We should be C-Walking (walking like the Christ in truth and in spirit). Everywhere we go, people should recognize what set we claim. And at all times, we should honor the real OG (Our God)! We have to let the whole world know...ain't nobody messing with our clique. Be Blessed Homies! XOXO

Faithful Fender Bender

Sooooo a couple days ago, I ran into my sister's car. Yep. You read right. I (big sister) hit my (little) sister's car. Now, granted she was parked in my driveway and as a force of habit, I just backed in, not paying ANY attention to a vehicle being there. I felt terrible. I was honestly on the brink of tears. Her? Not so much. She was so chill that it was scary. I couldn't believe her level of calm. It was freaking me out. I apologized profusely. Her response, "Shay, it's not that bad. Stop beating yourself up about it."

I love my sister, and as the last 25 years on this earth has proven, I am always willing to do ANYTHING for her. I felt irresponsible and stupid and upset about the whole ordeal. How could I be so stupid? I mean let's not forget this fact: I have 2 side view mirrors, 1 rear view mirror, and...wait for a it...a back-up camera! SERIOUSLY?!?!

After I cleaned her car and mine, in the bright light of the afternoon, I saw that she was right. It really wasn't bad at all. She had a small dent in her door and I had a little paint scraped off my bumper. Kind of annoying, but no real damage at all.

Later, she and I talked more about it. I was reminded of the time she ran into my son's Power Wheel trying to pull my car into the garage. She dented my fender. It's still dented. It wasn't that big of a deal. I knew she couldn't get it fixed and truthfully, it just wasn't that bad. My car still runs and when it's clean, it still shines baby! In hindsight, this sisterly fender bender had so much God in it!

First, many times we sin because we simply aren't paying attention. We are out of touch with God and kinda floating out here independently. We get comfortable. We do things out of habit. So? Our guard is down. That is the perfect time for the enemy to throw a wrench in our goodness, to present us with a covert obstacle. Sometimes, we spot it at the last minute and swerve just in the nick of time. Other times, we are so oblivious, we crash right into it.

For you who need an example, like to hear it? Here it go! Let's say that you've been celibate for 1 year.  After going so long, you've gotten used to this thing (most nights). You start to feel like you can wait a little longer. Then, the ex calls. Not an ex, but the ex. Game. Changer. Not paying attention, you find yourself in a hot and heavy make-out session. SWERVE! Or, maybe you woke up the next morning and thought, "Oh (insert your choice of word here)!" CRASH!

Now, you are apologizing to God profusely. You ask him to forgive you that morning. You cry all day and ask Him over and over and over again. You can't get this mistake off your mind. You can't shake this guilty feeling. Why? Because you love God and you want to live for Him. How could you be so stupid? You have God and maybe other mechanisms (that's none of my business) that could have prevented that whole thing from going down! What were you thinking?!? Oh, that's right, you weren't...

Well, here's the thing. God doesn't like sin, let's make no mistakes about it. However, God is honored by our efforts. He knows that things are hard for us. He knows that we become complacent and we let our guard down. He knows ALL OF THAT! So, when we are in a state of genuine repentance, when we really have been trying, and we have a set-back; in God's eyes, the damage isn't as bad as we make it. Now some of you might disagree because you are reading this wrong. I am NOT saying that God doesn't mind sin. He's not like, "Girl I know he fine and you couldn't resist. It's cool." However, He is like, "I know you've been trying really hard. You messed up. I'm disappointed, but I still love you. I know your heart is genuine. You really are sorry. I know you are. You don't have to keep saying it. It's really not that bad. My mercies are renewed every morning. So let's start again."

Have you been here before? You did something you shouldn't have. You honestly didn't mean to. It just kinda happened. I know I've been there...many times. And the level of guilt can sometimes be unbearable. That is the proof of God in our hearts. The substance of His love in our spirits. We don't want to let dad down. We are ashamed and guilty and embarrassed. But, although He may be disappointed, His love for us is far greater than our mistakes. He is glorified by us confessing to him. Like little children who tell mom and dad when they've done something wrong (or wives who have to tell their husbands they backed into their sister's car), we go to our Heavenly Father with heads hung low, sometimes even with tears in our eyes, and often times with fear in our hearts. But confession and genuine repentance are something God wants from us. Even in the midst of His disappointment, He is smiling. He is smiling at His child who loves and honors Him so much that they share with Him. They apologize. They ask for forgiveness. They long for HIS approval. Whatever you are still struggling with, know that if you truly meant it, God has forgiven you. It may have seemed bad at the time, but look at the real damage. You are still here to praise Him. That experience, whatever it was, is a part of your journey, a part of your testimony to make you relative and relevant in the lives of other believers. Clean yourself off. Look at yourself in His light. You'll see it's really not that bad, so stop beating yourself up about it. Be Blessed. XOXO