Play Ball!

Sometimes in life, things can get a bit hectic. Other times, we seem to have a better grip. Either way, both of these are familiar places to anyone who’s lived long enough. You see, life is one of those funny things that, no matter how hard we try, we won’t ever quite master. Why? Because it is an ever-changing thing. You were once a child, now you’re not. You were once an employee, now you’re the boss. You were once married, now you’re single again. You used to weigh 125 lbs, now…

I know the analogy sounds weird, but as life makes its many changes, we can categorize ourselves as one of three balls (and for the immature ones, I literally mean balls!):

1. Pinball

2. Kickball

3. Bowling ball

A pinball is small and helpless. In the midst of its machine, it’s hardly seen through all the colors and lights and not to be heard because of all the bells and whistles. It’s seemingly inconspicuous. A pinball is constantly being knocked around. It has no grounding. Its direction is merely determined by its surroundings. There is nothing concrete about the mission of a pinball. It’s ALL OVER THE PLACE! And because it has no sense of self, it often falls into traps...only to start this vicious cycle of being bounced around...all...over...again. In life, there are times that we are just drifting along. We forget to think for ourselves, do for ourselves, or even simply be ourselves. We find ourselves being knocked around by life’s many tests and reacting however we see fit. We have no real sense of direction, no real rhyme or reason. We are simply existing.

On the other hand, a kickball is a bit easier to notice. It’s typically a stand out color and a larger size, so one can see it. Now, the path of a kickball is determined by many factors. Was it pitched slow and bouncy? Fast? Smooth? These all play a role in how high or far the ball will go. The kickball must often be forced into action by the pitcher or the kicker. Either way, it requires force. Many of us know EXACTLY what we should be doing. There is literally NO question. However, we procrastinate or even act obstinate by simply not doing it at all. Then, something compels us to go where we are supposed to go, do what we already knew we should have done. We know we need to go back to school or forgive that person or lose weight or pay off that credit card. But we chillin’...HARD! Then, something happens to FORCE us to make the change we knew we needed to make in the first place! The job won’t promote you without advanced training. You can’t sleep well because you haven’t forgiven him or her. None of your clothes fit, and you can’t afford a wardrobe overhaul. You want to buy a house, so you have to clean up your credit. You see a kickball requires a swift kick in the you-know-what!

However, a bowling ball is heavy and weighted. It has a clear mission each and every time. A bowling ball has a straight path to travel down and the targets are always clear. A bowling ball can’t leave the lane...even if it drifts into the gutter. And no matter how many pins the balls misses or knocks down, the bowling ball ALWAYS returns. When it comes to life, a bowling ball is the ideal ball to be. God gives us purpose and direction with each waking moment of each waking day. If we stay in tune with Him, we hear, see, and respond more clearly. True, we may not knock down ALL the pins ALL the time. Shoot, sometimes we may not knock down a one! But, at the end of the frame, we always return to the Source, the place where we can be used by the Most High to try it again and again. There will be those times that we are living up to our fullest potential, strike after strike. There will be times we have to reset. There will be times that we find ourselves in a lowly space...the gutter. But God is always there. Regardless of how well we perform, we are trying our best to always be available... to do His will...to allow Him to have His way. Bowling balls don’t always do exactly what they’re intended to do, but they are always on the path and their sights are always set. It is with this effort, this focus, this drive, that we live our best lives. There will be ups and downs. There will be good and bad. There will also be God. So no matter if you’re headed for a strike, a spare, a couple pins, or the gutter...bowl on and Be Blessed! XOXO

Accounts Receivable

Last year, after much influence from Erika and Kristen, I finally read The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. Listen...this book can get a little deep and even a bit weird, but the agreements themselves will save your life! After chewing on the overload of this short read, I settled on one that would become my focus...Number 2:

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Some of you reading this SAY you don’t care what other people say or what other people think, yet you are QUICK to get angry or offended. Why? Because you take the actions and opinions of others personally. Within the last year and some change, I’ve grown to simply say this, “I don’t have to receive your account as my truth.” Period.If a person makes a choice or a statement that offends you, you’ve taken in personally. What’s the other option? Not to receive what they say or feel as your own truth.

What might this look like on your faith walk? People look at me and say, “How you gone write a blog about God and be in the club?” So for them, God is absent from the club and despises celebration, good drinks, two-stepping, and excellently fried chicken wings. That is their account of God, but it isn’t my truth. Someone might look at you and say, “How you gone say you love your family, but you work overtime every week? One cannot serve 2 masters…” That is their account. They believe that caring for loved ones would have one to pass up an opportunity to pay down bills, save up for a trip, or even simply make ends meet. You don’t have to receive that as your truth. To the women, “How you gone say you love yourself but you wear…(weave, make-up, padded bra, fake lashes, etc.)?” Their account of self-love doesn’t require enhancement, which is fine. But, if you ain’t ‘bout that life, then you don’t have to receive that as your truth. Someone calls you stupid, ugly, fat, broke, childish, petty, retarded, annoying, religious, fake, sometimey, the list goes on and on (and I’ve heard them all, but they are not my truth).

Everyone’s account over our lives does not deserve to be received. We never have to own someone else’s feelings about us, no matter how much that person matters in our lives. We CHOOSE to take it personally. Sometimes this can be positive, like making amends with a loved one and honoring their feelings, even if you don’t fully agree with (receive) their account (see any working marriage for evidence of this...often!). On the other hand, making the choice to receive someone’s opinions, behaviors, or feelings as our truth can also cause us heartache or diminish our esteem. In these cases, we have to be aware and make different choices when instances like this arise again. Why? Because we DON’T HAVE TO receive anyone’s account as our truth...EVER!

Taking into consideration what people say about us, do to us, think about us, or feel toward us should be based upon two things: 1) presentation and 2) purpose. Was the presentation foul or out-of-pocket? Then forget them and the horse they rode in on...not my truth boo...not. my. truth. However, if the presentation was in love and edification, mull it over and take a more introspective approach for yourself. Now, what exactly was the purpose? Was it to shame you? Embarrass you? Try to outshine you? An effort to one up you? If so, dismiss it. If not, and the purpose was to help you improve or to improve the relationship between you and another, again, consider it.

Most of the time, we will start to see that much of what people think, say, do, or feel has a lot less to do with us and bunch more to do with them. So, it’s crazy for us to take it personally in the first place! In the grand scheme of things only one account over our lives matters. You guessed it! God’s. So in that case, we don’t have to own what other people say, feel, do, or think. In Galatians 1:10, The Word outright asks us,” Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God?” I’m gonna sit that right there for you receive...or not...either way...Be Blessed XOXO

The Connect

Last night, a sister-friend was on a quest for a custom prom dress. I didn't have the skills or the time, so I connected her to someone with much talent and garment knowledge. Last week, 2 former students, now graduating Seniors, had specific questions about their future HBCUs. I didn't have the info they needed, so I thumbed through the HBCU Alumni Squad to put them in touch with people who could help. I found myself being a bridge for others to get what they needed, which took me back to a conversation with the Big Homie.

I'm entering an inquisitive spiritual stage. I got lots of questions, most of which people can't answer. However, I sound board a lot off my husband because he's a good and honest listener who will admit when he simply doesn't know. In a particular series of wonders, I told him I've often thought about why it seems that Christians pray so hard to Jesus, almost like they stop there and don't go all the way to God. Like so much emphasis is on Jesus that God seems almost like an after thought. It's not a knock,  just a legitimate wonder. His response was hood and good at the same dang time. He said, "Look at it like this. God is the supplier and Jesus is the connect. You gotta go through the connect to get what you need from the supplier. So people probably just talking to the connect. That's all," and he hit me with a cocked head followed by a finishing shoulder shrug.

Basically, it takes time and commitment to get past the connect and come into direct contact with the supplier. In the meantime, the re-up (replenished supply) comes through the connect. Need more hope? More love?  More faith? It's only through ongoing spiritual maturity we begin to pray and seek God's entirety. Jesus is the reason that's possible. His death and sacrifice took us beyond the veil. He still serves as a bridge between us and the Most High God. It's because of Him that even the least of us can talk to God. The forgiveness that Christ embodies redeems us day after day. I don't know about you, but I'm glad to have a connect like Christ. There's no telling where I'd be without Him. If you're not already, get connected. Stay supplied. Be Blessed XOXO