Accounts Receivable

Last year, after much influence from Erika and Kristen, I finally read The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. Listen...this book can get a little deep and even a bit weird, but the agreements themselves will save your life! After chewing on the overload of this short read, I settled on one that would become my focus...Number 2:

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Some of you reading this SAY you don’t care what other people say or what other people think, yet you are QUICK to get angry or offended. Why? Because you take the actions and opinions of others personally. Within the last year and some change, I’ve grown to simply say this, “I don’t have to receive your account as my truth.” Period.If a person makes a choice or a statement that offends you, you’ve taken in personally. What’s the other option? Not to receive what they say or feel as your own truth.

What might this look like on your faith walk? People look at me and say, “How you gone write a blog about God and be in the club?” So for them, God is absent from the club and despises celebration, good drinks, two-stepping, and excellently fried chicken wings. That is their account of God, but it isn’t my truth. Someone might look at you and say, “How you gone say you love your family, but you work overtime every week? One cannot serve 2 masters…” That is their account. They believe that caring for loved ones would have one to pass up an opportunity to pay down bills, save up for a trip, or even simply make ends meet. You don’t have to receive that as your truth. To the women, “How you gone say you love yourself but you wear…(weave, make-up, padded bra, fake lashes, etc.)?” Their account of self-love doesn’t require enhancement, which is fine. But, if you ain’t ‘bout that life, then you don’t have to receive that as your truth. Someone calls you stupid, ugly, fat, broke, childish, petty, retarded, annoying, religious, fake, sometimey, the list goes on and on (and I’ve heard them all, but they are not my truth).

Everyone’s account over our lives does not deserve to be received. We never have to own someone else’s feelings about us, no matter how much that person matters in our lives. We CHOOSE to take it personally. Sometimes this can be positive, like making amends with a loved one and honoring their feelings, even if you don’t fully agree with (receive) their account (see any working marriage for evidence of this...often!). On the other hand, making the choice to receive someone’s opinions, behaviors, or feelings as our truth can also cause us heartache or diminish our esteem. In these cases, we have to be aware and make different choices when instances like this arise again. Why? Because we DON’T HAVE TO receive anyone’s account as our truth...EVER!

Taking into consideration what people say about us, do to us, think about us, or feel toward us should be based upon two things: 1) presentation and 2) purpose. Was the presentation foul or out-of-pocket? Then forget them and the horse they rode in on...not my truth boo...not. my. truth. However, if the presentation was in love and edification, mull it over and take a more introspective approach for yourself. Now, what exactly was the purpose? Was it to shame you? Embarrass you? Try to outshine you? An effort to one up you? If so, dismiss it. If not, and the purpose was to help you improve or to improve the relationship between you and another, again, consider it.

Most of the time, we will start to see that much of what people think, say, do, or feel has a lot less to do with us and bunch more to do with them. So, it’s crazy for us to take it personally in the first place! In the grand scheme of things only one account over our lives matters. You guessed it! God’s. So in that case, we don’t have to own what other people say, feel, do, or think. In Galatians 1:10, The Word outright asks us,” Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God?” I’m gonna sit that right there for you receive...or not...either way...Be Blessed XOXO