Push It

I took a mental health day from work on Monday. I needed it. Work has been a place of disdain lately, which sucks because I love what I do. Sometimes though, the environment in which we do our work can take its toll on us. I have struggled lately to find joy in the place where I find the most happiness (or maybe vice versa, but you get the gist). I have allowed other people's negative energies and attempts to secretly attack me become a focal point, instead of using this gift that God so graciously gave me to teach and reach young minds. I've become tired.

It's hard to keep a smile on your face when you know that people are out to get you. It's hard to not snap on a student when your mind is elsewhere. It's hard to stay positive when the overall spirit of a place is one of deception and selfish gain at the expense of any and everyone else. But in this time I've found one thing, I needed to rest.

When we are unhappy in one space, it can be the result of what is happening around us, at least on the surface. But through the last few weeks, I've seen that it's also a matter of what is going on within us. The spirit is a tricky thing, and because I believe that I am a spirit who simply lives in human casing, I am a tricky being. See, when the spirit is deprived, the body has a hard time functioning. It's much like the vital necessity for nutrients or water. Spiritual nutrition is a must, and when we don't have it, the spirit becomes tired.

What I noticed was that I wasn't feeding my spirit. I was thirsty for living water. I was hungry for the bread of life. I was malnourished. Instead of making sure that I had the proper amount of nutrients to feed my soul, I was in what I thought was a comfortable space. I was in my Word sometimes. I listened to a whole lot of spirit-feeding music. I didn't watch much TV. I prayed with my kids and the hubs every night. We went to church most Sundays. We were good...I was good.

But when stuff started happening at work, I realized just how weak my spirit was. I found my attitude becoming less positive, and many students and staff rely on that energy. I was short and curt with some of the people who had made work difficult for me. Like the gradual effect Steve Urkel had on Laura, I was wearing dooowwwnnn baby!

Anyone who has started an exercise routine knows that after so long, you have to switch it up of the body becomes complacent. You won't lose those last, stubborn 10 lbs. You can't tone that one flabby spot. You can't reach any of those goals unless you ramp it up a notch. No pain, no gain.

The same thing happens in the spirit. Just like an exercise regiment has to be accompanied with proper nutrition to make all the components of our healthiest physical selves; we also have to accompany the Word with spiritual actions to develop our best spiritual selves.

Nothing in our lives or in our little personal worlds happens without divine permission. If God ain't having it, we won't experience it. This stuff happening at work is a push from my personal spiritual trainer. He is pushing me to the next level. He is taking me out of my comfort zone. He is showing me what it has to look like and sound like to face unwarranted persecution and still remain faithful. He's forcing me to ramp it up...and it hurts. There are days I don't make the goal or reach the time, but I keep coming back because I know that in the end it will all be worth it. I pray today that whatever you are facing you understand that God is pushing you. He wants you to step out of what and who you find comfort in and rest in him. He wants you to realize that growth is a process that can sometimes be painful but we have to be persistent and try to persevere. Growth in God can't stop, so situations and circumstances in our lives have to change to challenge us. There will be days that you just don't make it, or you just can't cut it. On those days, just know that if it be God's will, you can rest and start all over tomorrow. Be blessed. XOXO