Babies and Fools

This past weekend, I celebrated my 35th birthday. It was a blast! I had a weekend long celebration with family and friends, and I couldn't have enjoyed myself more. However, the last night, trying to be grown and classy, my friends and I went on a limo wine tasting. It was so fun. But, at the close of the night, I made a questionable decision.

The point of the limo is because I have thing about drinking and driving. What I didn't consider was that the limo WAS NOT taking me home. Duh! Now, before I left the house, my husband specifically said to me, "Call me if you need me to come and get you." Considering the fact that it's normally the other way around in our relationship, I may or may not have disregarded his sincere offering. Fast forward to what was supposed to be a 4 hour event becoming a 6 hour event that was extended by a small group of us who were so wrapped up in the moment we didn't want to leave! And what did I do? I drove myself home.

Now there are 2 types of people reading this. The type of people who can't believe someone would do that and the type of people who are thinking about how they too have been guilty of the same thing (probably more often than they care to admit). I prayed before I pulled off, and thanked God when I arrived home safely. But the next morning, I felt a level of conviction that I can honestly say I've only felt one other time and that was over 4 years ago. I asked the Lord to forgive me for being irresponsible, and I could hear my granny in my head, "The Lord takes care of babies and fools. I stopped being a baby a long time ago, but every now and then, I can still be a fool." So true. So very, very true.

Sometimes in life, we do things that are out of character. We make choices that don't seem like a big deal in the moment, but later we look back and feel a twinge of guilt.We act foolishly. We say to ourselves, "I'll just have one more drink." Or, "I can give her my number, that's not cheating on my wife." Or even, "I'm finna cuss this fool out and repent later!" Regardless of the questionable choices we've made in life, if we feel convicted afterward, it's an opportunity for us to self-reflect and seek God's lesson. Don't beat yourself up about it. Try to seek God's angle. Where is He coming from? What does He want from us? How can this experience grow us or change us to better live for Him?

Am I proud of my choice? Of course not. Did I learn from those uncomfortable feelings afterward? I believe so. Will I ever screw up again? You better believe it! But if we find ourselves in a position where we feel convicted or guilty or even question our decisions, we can pray this prayer, "God, what do you want me to get from this? I feel you nudging, please open my mind and heart to receive your loving correction. I know what I did wasn't the best choice. I know that you expect more from me. But I also know that even when I jack up, you still love me. Help me to not take that for granted. Guide me in your will and your way. In Your name I pray, Amen." Be Blessed. XOXO