Hey There Green Eyes

As we left Macy’s last week, a lady said to my youngest son, “You’re such a cute little fella!” While walking back to the car, my oldest son said, “Mama if I was you, I would have named me Jack.” I asked him why of all the awesome names in the world he would have chosen Jack. He responded, “Because my face is jacked up.” I laughed. Hey, I’m a parent and a human, so my initial reaction may not have been the best, but it happened. Anyway, a little background on why he would say this is he has a permanent scar under his right eye. He had stitches put in by a resident who was not very good and cocoa butter, Mederma, nor vitamin E oil have yet to take it away. It’s faded, but still very present. Now back to our conversation...

I asked him if we was jealous that the nice lady said his brother was a cute little fella, but didn’t say it to him. Very honestly, he responded, “Yes.” I had to let him in on the secret that his little brother is just that-LITTLE, so people just say he’s cute more often because he’s smaller, more like a baby. I told him that when he was his brother’s age, plenty of people said the same thing about him and even now that he’s a bigger boy, plenty of people still say how handsome he is, which is the same thing as calling him cute. That made him raise his head a bit and stand a little straighter, but I could tell that he still wasn’t quite sure.

I could totally relate to my baby. Many times over, I too have experienced jealousy. When I was younger, I was jealous of the light-skinned girls with longer hair because all of the boys would call them pretty. When I was in middle school, I was jealous of the girls whose clothing sizes were in the single digits because they were “skinny” and I wasn’t. At summer camp, I would be jealous of the kids with name brand clothes who just got back from awesome family vacations. In college, I was jealous of the students with fancy cars who took epic Spring Break trips. In my twenties, I was jealous of people who still had their moms. I couldn’t stand to hear about them arguing with their mothers or saying things like, “She gets on my nerves.”  After I had my first son, I was jealous of people who were able to have babies and lose the weight instantly, while I struggled to get back into my clothes. When I bought my home, I was jealous of people who could afford more house because they had better credit and greater savings. In my current life, I can still find that ugly monster rearing its head from time to time in areas like finances, appearance, and accolades.

The truth of the matter is that the things we find ourselves feeling jealous over are often a sign of our own discontentment. We are jealous of the girl who is prettier than us because we’ve never viewed ourselves as beautiful. We are jealous of the person who is getting promoted at work because we feel like our hard work often goes unnoticed. We are jealous of the marriage that seems to work because we are unsure about our own. We are jealous because we are not satisfied with ourselves or our situations.

But jealousy is a destroyer of relationships. It divides people who would otherwise be beneficial to one another. It sets itself in the center of love and stirs itself into strife and discord. It suffocates the life between people and creates barriers that are seemingly impermeable. It makes one party feel less than enough, yet boosts another’s ego far into the heavens. Jealousy is a dangerous thing. Jealousy is indeed a subliminal tool of the enemy. I mean think about it, what better way to tear down the people who have the job of edifying and building up a Kingdom than to divide and conquer? 

Paul told the church in Corinth that they were spiritually immature which is why jealousy was permeating their body and they were divided into two contending factions (1 Corinthians 3:3). So it sounds like the answer to ridding ourselves of the overwhelming feeling of jealousy is to strengthen our spirits to stand against it. When we mature in the Spirit, we become less comparative and less competitive. Instead, we start to celebrate with one another the blessings that God chooses to bestow. We are happy for our friend as they walk down the aisle to marry the person God gave to them. We rejoice with the co-worker who moves up the ranks. We thank God for the new home someone else was blessed with. We do this because we know that God is in the business of blessings and He has no favorites. So, if He is blessing His children, He will bless us! As a matter of fact, if we want to really face the facts, chances are more likely He already has-time and time again! 

I wish I could say I'm never jealous anymore, but that would be a lie. However, I do understand how dangerous it is, so I try to ask God to snatch that right on away from me! With that, I also know that we have to grow our spirits to really fight against these divisive feelings and stay connected as the His body of builders. His plans for our lives are prosperous plans, so sitting with our noses turned up and our lips poked out because someone else has something we don't is a lack of faith, and quite frankly, it's ungrateful. There’s no need to be envious of one another because we serve a God with an abundance of provisions. He can give what no one else can to anyone He chooses. In the meantime, we rejoice in what He’s doing in the lives of those around us while we trust; we wait; and we believe that we’re next in line! Be Blessed. XOXO