Shut Up

So often in my marriage, I find myself saying to the hubs, “You’re not listening to me.” The truth is, whether he refutes my accusation or not, a lot of the time…he isn’t. Why? Well, there are a ton of reasons, one of which is simply this: I talk too much. For a woman, even the quietest of sorts, talking is healing. Talking is laughter. Talking is life. Talking is a whole bunch of who we are because words express emotion and by nature, we are emotional beings. But sometimes, we gotta know when to simply SHUT UP! It’s not mean or rude, but the truth. A person is a lot more likely to listen when they miss the sound of your voice. If we are constantly running our mouths, be it to vent about our day, ask about which shoes go best with which shirt, tell someone how to live their lives by soliciting a most often unwarranted opinion, then of course when we speak, the listening is minimal…We’re always talking!

Now some of us are like, “This one isn’t for me because I don’t talk that much.” And maybe you are right. But just take a minute to think about when you DO talk. What are you saying? Would anyone give a rats tail about the content? Is it building people up or tearing people down? When you DO open your mouth, what in the world is coming out of it? The answer to these questions can still lend itself to you not being heard and you STILL needing the simplistic advice that is in the title: Shut up sometimes.

The book of Proverbs speaks often about the benefit of being quiet. It tells us that being quiet allows us to receive God’s word. It tells us that being quiet is a sign of seeking wisdom and seeking wisdom is to seek God so the quieter we are the more in-tune we allow ourselves to be with the Lord.  It tells us that venting is not always the best thing to do and sometimes we simply need to keep some things to ourselves.

I’m a talker. Period. My oldest son is one as well (he will talk an auctioneer under the table okay!). So, if you are anything like me, it’s lessons like these, the ones that are in stark contrast to our natural selves that we will continue to have to learn…over and over and over again. My mouth has gotten me into trouble since I was first able to speak. I’ve learned more over the years about when to speak and when not, but it’s still an honest to the Lord daily struggle for me. I’ve increased tension in my home and within my marriage by running my mouth, but the book of Exodus tells me “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (14:4) I’ve hurt friends by simply “speaking my mind” (A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. Proverbs 29:11). I’ve even been blessed with a new job when my old job probably got tired of hearing my mouth (The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin. Proverbs 10:8)!

 Solomon told us in Eccelsiastes that there is a time for everything. Specifically, he said “There is a time to speak and a time to listen.” Silence connects us to God. Quietness can keep us from making situations worse.  Shutting UP can prevent us from shutting others OUT. It’s important that we as Christians spend a lot less time talking. That way when we do speak up for righteousness, people might actually want to listen to what we have to say.