I Do What I Want

One of my favorite scenes from the movie The Lion King is when Mufasa, the father, is having a conversation with Simba, the son. Simba went to the elephant graveyard with his friend Nala, even though his father told him not to go. Upon discovering his son’s transgression, Mufasa has a conversation with Simba in which he states, in a deep and gruff voice with a super stern fatherly type of tone, “SIMBA! You deliberately disobeyed me!” The word deliberately is bold for emphasis. If you’ve seen the film, you know why. If you haven’t, there’s no shame in being an adult and partaking in one of the GREATEST movies ever! But today I want to talk about disobedience.

First, let’s establish a clear definition of disobedience. To be disobedient requires the prior knowledge of obedience. Meaning, you have to know what is expected of you and then choose not to do it. So disobedience is an informed choice, not an accident. Now that we have a clear definition…

Oftentimes, we pretend we don’t know what God is calling us to do because we are simply scared to do it. I am in a season of life right now where God is showing me how long I’ve been disobeying Him. He gave me clear instructions a looonnnggg time ago, and what did I do? I did what I wanted to do, not what God was telling me, or calling me to do. Why? Because I was scared. Scared of how people would view me; scared of who or what I may lose; and to be quite honest, I’m still scared, but I’m walking…stumbling a little, but definitely trying harder to walk His way. But enough about me…

Disobedience comes from pride and selfishness. We walk in disobedience because we want something better (so we think) for ourselves. We want to be in control, so we try to keep what we want. Get rid of what is easy. And all the while, we are convincing ourselves that it’s not a big deal. But that doesn’t line up with God’s plan.

When we walk in disobedience, we have to be confronted. We must ask ourselves a few questions like: Is God pleased by me? Or is He grieved by me? Is God texting Jesus and the Holy Spirit like, “Somebody come and look at this…smh…”?

When we walk in disobedience, we find ourselves going back to the same things and the same behaviors that we swore we were delivered from. When we walk in disobedience, we lie (to ourselves and others). What we say/tell people and what our actions are don’t line up with God’s commands when we are disobedient.

Disobedience not only leads to lying but it also promotes blaming. In the movie Soul Food (yes I like movies, sue me!), Big Mama tells her family that when they point the finger at someone else, there’s only one finger going that direction and three more are pointing back at us. None of us want to blame ourselves for anything, it’s human nature. We want to blame everyone else because it’s more comfortable. When people confront us about how we are not walking in God’s way, we want to make excuses or try to prove them wrong or even point out how they themselves aren’t walking in the light so they can get out of ours! Can I get a witness?

But we must remember, without God we are nothing. Yet we want to act like we are really doing something when we know good and well we are NOT at all doing what He is telling us to do. When we disobey, we often refuse to accept the fact that we are wrong. We want to put the attention on what we perceive as right. We like to hit God with, “I know I’m not doing everything I’m supposed to be, but at least…” It’s like saying you can at least accept my sacrifice, even if it’s not whole? We must remember that obedience is better than any sacrifice because obedience is total submission.