Daddy Dearest

So today, I asked a co-worker, who recently was blessed with a beautiful baby girl, how she was doing. “She’s awesome!” he replied, as his cheeks flushed red and his eyes welled a bit. I thought to myself, “I remember that feeling when my boys were first born.” And then it dawned on me. There are times where we as mothers have a tendency to downgrade the emotional attachment of fathers to children. Some of us have been guilty of the “I can do this by myself, so I don’t need you mentality.” Others of us have been on the “You don’t want to pay child support or do right by me (or my standards), then you can’t see your children!” And yet many of us, myself included, fall victim to the “You didn’t carry this baby for 9 months and deliver them for (insert # of hours you spent in painful labor) so don’t tell me about my kids!”

It’s interesting though. Fathers, real true fathers, have just as much of an emotional stake in the life of a child as mothers do. It doesn’t look the same or sound the same, and to most children, it doesn’t even feel the same. But as we know from historical precedent, same isn’t the SAME as equal (see what I did there). See, a father’s love is one that we as women know nothing about. For them, the act of creating life is a wonder in and of itself. Seeing that an act that is perpetuated as simply “pleasure-seeking” has led to a shift in perspective and priorities is an awesome wonder for men to behold. For them to work now not only for material gain in the form of cars, clothes, and crap; they now see the purchase of pampers or the investment in a college-fund as the necessity to their grind.

It makes me think about how my heavenly father sees me. Sometimes, he can be very fatherly. I can go to His Word and get much advice. Other times, he will seem distant, and I feel as though he might not care for me as much as those on earth do because I can’t feel his presence. But that’s when he is at work. He is working on my behalf and investing life lessons in me that will shape me and mold me into the person he created me to be.

Ephesians 6:2 instructs children to honor both their mothers AND their fathers. As women, we have to remember that fathers were created in His image and that much of how they interact with our children is in the way that He designed them. It is important to recognize the intricate, yet purposeful, balance that God created when he made children derive from both a mother AND a father. He intended that child have the best of both worlds. So back off a bit. Stop showing him that he’s doing it “wrong”. Let him express his love, adoration, and affection for his children in the best way…by being the man that God created him to be. Be blessed. XOXOX