Maybe It's Me?

A few weeks ago, the Big Homie and I met up for breakfast. As we placed our orders, the differences in our culinary tastes couldn't be more pronounced. I ordered my eggs over medium; he ordered his fried hard. When our dishes were served, my eggs were perfect while his looked way too similar to what I requested. Once his fork hit the egg and yolk came oozing out, he raised his brow, tilted his head, and said, "I must have said the wrong thing." I affirmed him immediately, "No you didn't. I heard you say fried hard. You want to send them back or are you cool?" Of course he responds, "Nah it's not that big of a deal," and turns his attention to the other delectable items on his plate.

This seems really small, but I was amazed at how he instantaneously took accountability for the mishap. Instead of looking for someone to blame, or trying to find a way to win, he started with himself. He didn't say, "Why would they bring me the same eggs as you when I specifically said 'fried hard'?" He didn't ask for the server or seek a manager. The FIRST thing out of his mouth was the most humble thing...maybe it's me?

Now, this is NOT a natural trait of mine. Why? Because I don't like to be wrong. I want everyone to recognize this fun-fact: I'M ALWAYS RIGHT! To know me is to know this most fallacious truth about my personality. As I am growing older, gaining more life experiences, and strengthening my spiritual muscles, I'm starting to understand that this type of thinking has many deep-rooted beginnings. First, I'm smart. Part of being smart is getting things "right" all the time. Secondly, I'm the oldest. Being the oldest means the little ones are relying on me for answers, so I have to have them. Lastly, I'm articulate. When I speak, people listen, so I NEED to be right. However, there are other roots as well. To want to be right all the time is to also be selfish. It's to consider your opinions or knowledge greater than another's. It's looking for someone to be wrong. It's trying to find a place to set the blame. It's to be ill-compassioned, inconsiderate, or simply to lack understanding of others.

Now some of you are shaking your heads and thinking to yourselves, "I'm glad I'm not like that." I'd challenge you to really self-reflect. When you enter into a controversial discussion with another person, is your aim to gain a new perspective OR to get them to see that you are right? When you argue with your loved ones, is your goal to better understand them OR to shut them down? When you converse with someone and you have different viewpoints, are you speaking to learn OR are you talking to win? Most people are on the wrong side of the tracks when they TRUTHFULLY respond to these questions. This means that humility is an area where many of us can grow.

Humility means that we are less concerned with ourselves and more concerned with the greater good. A humble person doesn't always have to be right. A humble person doesn't have to flip a table when their order is messed up at a restaurant. No. A humble person starts with self. Philipians tells us to HUMBLY value others above ourselves.  The book of Proverbs says to be humble is to fear the Lord. And Ephesians tells us to bear with one another in love by being BOTH humble and gentle. You see, humility is kind of "up there" on the Most High's list of things for us to do. When we are operating in a space of "rightness" we are typically not moving toward His call to "righteousness". The next time you find yourself on the opposite side of an issue or questioning how to handle the mistakes of another, start with yourself. In the infamous words of MJ, talk with the man in the mirror! Stay humble my friends, and Be Blessed. XOXO