Maybe It's Me?

A few weeks ago, the Big Homie and I met up for breakfast. As we placed our orders, the differences in our culinary tastes couldn't be more pronounced. I ordered my eggs over medium; he ordered his fried hard. When our dishes were served, my eggs were perfect while his looked way too similar to what I requested. Once his fork hit the egg and yolk came oozing out, he raised his brow, tilted his head, and said, "I must have said the wrong thing." I affirmed him immediately, "No you didn't. I heard you say fried hard. You want to send them back or are you cool?" Of course he responds, "Nah it's not that big of a deal," and turns his attention to the other delectable items on his plate.

This seems really small, but I was amazed at how he instantaneously took accountability for the mishap. Instead of looking for someone to blame, or trying to find a way to win, he started with himself. He didn't say, "Why would they bring me the same eggs as you when I specifically said 'fried hard'?" He didn't ask for the server or seek a manager. The FIRST thing out of his mouth was the most humble thing...maybe it's me?

Now, this is NOT a natural trait of mine. Why? Because I don't like to be wrong. I want everyone to recognize this fun-fact: I'M ALWAYS RIGHT! To know me is to know this most fallacious truth about my personality. As I am growing older, gaining more life experiences, and strengthening my spiritual muscles, I'm starting to understand that this type of thinking has many deep-rooted beginnings. First, I'm smart. Part of being smart is getting things "right" all the time. Secondly, I'm the oldest. Being the oldest means the little ones are relying on me for answers, so I have to have them. Lastly, I'm articulate. When I speak, people listen, so I NEED to be right. However, there are other roots as well. To want to be right all the time is to also be selfish. It's to consider your opinions or knowledge greater than another's. It's looking for someone to be wrong. It's trying to find a place to set the blame. It's to be ill-compassioned, inconsiderate, or simply to lack understanding of others.

Now some of you are shaking your heads and thinking to yourselves, "I'm glad I'm not like that." I'd challenge you to really self-reflect. When you enter into a controversial discussion with another person, is your aim to gain a new perspective OR to get them to see that you are right? When you argue with your loved ones, is your goal to better understand them OR to shut them down? When you converse with someone and you have different viewpoints, are you speaking to learn OR are you talking to win? Most people are on the wrong side of the tracks when they TRUTHFULLY respond to these questions. This means that humility is an area where many of us can grow.

Humility means that we are less concerned with ourselves and more concerned with the greater good. A humble person doesn't always have to be right. A humble person doesn't have to flip a table when their order is messed up at a restaurant. No. A humble person starts with self. Philipians tells us to HUMBLY value others above ourselves.  The book of Proverbs says to be humble is to fear the Lord. And Ephesians tells us to bear with one another in love by being BOTH humble and gentle. You see, humility is kind of "up there" on the Most High's list of things for us to do. When we are operating in a space of "rightness" we are typically not moving toward His call to "righteousness". The next time you find yourself on the opposite side of an issue or questioning how to handle the mistakes of another, start with yourself. In the infamous words of MJ, talk with the man in the mirror! Stay humble my friends, and Be Blessed. XOXO

Selective Sinner

I sin. I mean, I knowingly do things that don't align with God's Word. I like, completely and utterly and consistently SIN! Now, I don't mean that, "OMG! I can't believe I did that, let me repent. Father God please forgive me" type of sin. I mean I definitely do that too, but those are a bit different than the sin I'm actually referring to right now. You see, I sin for real. I cuss...especially when I'm upset or passionate about a subject. I don't curse. That's a bit more classy and less frequent. Nah, I cuss...for real. I lie. Did I really "oversleep" and that's why I'm running late? Orrrr did I actually "sleep in" and THAT's why I'm late? I could go on and on, but ya'll don't need to be ALL up in my business like that, so I'll park the car here: I SIN.

However, I find it interesting that even though I sin, I can sometimes have the audacity to look at others differently...because they sin! It's laughable almost. Like who the hell do I think I am?!? (See, there goes the verge of cussing.) And if you are being honest with yourself, many of you are the same way. You sin. Day in and day out, there is something you are consistently doing that you KNOW is not of God. Sometimes we excuse it like, "I mean that's just how I am," or "This is just the way things are 'around here'." Because we are comfortable WITH our sin or we have company IN our sin, we start to believe that it's really not all that bad. Yet, when someone sins in a way that we aren't comfortable with, we have a TOTALLY different perspective!

Case in point: A man walks into a strip club with his homies. They all pay for lap dances and have a great time! If you've EVER been to a strip club, you know that they are indeed having a GREAT time! Not a big deal right? But then, that same man gets word that a friend of his is having an affair. He's upset and disappointed with his friend for cheating on his wife. Interesting...both of these men had lust at the root of their actions. Both of these men were physically involved with a woman they weren't married to. However, because the world tells us that strip clubs aren't a bad thing and that's "just what men do" then he found it easy to accept his behavior, yet condemn his friend. Now I KNOW some people are logging off as we speak...

Here's another one: An unmarried woman has taken contraceptives much of her adult life. Why? Because she has no desire to become pregnant until she has a husband. She sees another unmarried woman at Aldi with 4 children and another on the way. She turns her nose up at this fertile Myrtle, and especially gets irritated when the woman swipes her EBT card! But both women are clearly engaging in pre-marital sex to some degree. Although, one is able to or simply chooses to mask hers a bit more than the other, they are both still sinners.

What's my point? It's definitely not to give off the false idea that I have the answers because I certainly don't! But here is what I do know-too many of us find a way to use other people's seemingly WORSE sins to make us feel better about our own. We look at people who steal like they are the scum of the earth, but we have been guilty of taking people's love and breaking hearts. We look at people who kill like they should rot in hell, but the Word says the power of life and death lie in our tongues and some of us *raises hand SKY HIGH* have said things to people that were DEFINITELY deadly to their souls. WE ALL SIN! EVERYONE! Yes, even the pastor in the pulpit sins (all them big booties walking around church you think he ain't noticed at least one!?! C'mon man!) Sometimes we sin on the surface for everyone to see. Sometimes we sin on the low, and only God knows. Regardless of how you do it, when you do it, where you do it, YOU DO IT! So chill out on coming for other people. Relax your opinions about others' actions. Instead, love people despite their transgressions. We are all at different points in our spiritual journey. We all have different views about right and wrong. At the end of the day, the best thing we can offer one another is love because we are fully aware that as much as ALL of us sin, we could ALL use a little bit more lovin'! Be Blessed. XOXO

The Day I Stopped Being a Perfectionist

I don't know if it's an oldest child thing, a black girl thing, a desire to "make it" thing, or just who I was born to escape being, but for as long as I can remember, I've aimed for perfection. This led to virtually uninterrupted straight A report cards from Kindergarten to college, extreme workouts, and a hellacious house-cleaning regimen. To strive for perfection in all things definitely has its perks. It allows one to shine above the rest in terms of school and career. It helps one to continue to push in athletics and physical training. It develops grit and perseverance. However, it also has it's drawbacks. It creates division between self and others. It places unnecessary pressure on ones mental and physical being. It takes time away from the ones we love as we try so hard to make sure they come home to a comfortably clean and perfect home (that they will undoubtedly ruin within minutes of its completion!). 

I vividly remember the day I stopped being a perfectionist. I had been grappling with feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Having had the second SmithBoy and still working tirelessly to climb the ladder at my new school, all while trying to maintain a spotless home and a body that would still make my husband drool. I was tired. One night, after getting both boys down, I walked back toward the kitchen, only to be greeted by a sink full of dishes. I thought, "It won't take long to throw those in the dishwasher. Power through girl!" I opened the dishwasher only to find that it was full of CLEAN dishes that needed to be put away. I looked around the kitchen for an available sub to tag in and take my place, but it was juuuussttt me, solo dolo, facing a critical life decision. After pondering for what seemed like an eternity, I looked across to the opposite side of the kitchen. There sat a bottle of unopened Cabernet. I picked option 3) Close the dishwasher, pop the cork, pour a glass, turn out the light, and go sip and sit on the couch for 30 minutes of TV before bed. I said to myself, "The dishes will clearly be there tomorrow. I'm done son!"

To know me is to know how abnormal that was then. Me? Go to bed with a dirty kitchen? Never! That was over 4 years ago. Now? Shoot, you best believe if ya girl is exhausted the dishes will be there. When I haven't ironed a week's worth of uniforms, I'll get to them day by day or maybe even a few days at a time when life permits. If we are out of Lunchables or small bags of chips, we create a new lunch idea because sometimes the store is too much of a hassle at the time. You see the day I decided I was done chasing perfection was the day I learned to love my truest self.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 

-2 Corinthians 12:9

God isn't concerned with us being perfect. Instead, He is concerned with our efforts to live for Him and love like Him. Trying our best to do our best every single day. He knows we'll fall short. He created us all to be a perfectly HOT MESS! He knew from the jump all that we would master, all that we would fail, and how much joy, tragedy, and triumph we would endure. That day in my kitchen, I accepted the permission God gave me to not have to have it all together ALL the time. Take a break. Sometimes, we have to just accept that it won't all get done. It might not happen EVER (like organizing my garage). But at the end of the day, having our health and strength gives us the proof that God's grace is sufficient for our lives....not our flawed efforts to appear or even become perfect. Cut. It. Out. Live life. Love the mess. Dig your clothes out of the laundry basket for a few days. Don't stress that the meat is still in the freezer, eat a grilled cheese sandwich! Leave that job, what didn't get done today will be waiting for you tomorrow. The quest for perfection is literally a waste of time. God's power is made perfect in our weaknesses, so let Him flex! Accept the fact that your life will be perfectly imperfect for as long you are blessed to live it, so enjoy the chance to be a Blessed Mess! XOXO

GODfather

One Sunday, while gathering for our weekly ritual of all-day football, the boys took unopened birthday gifts to the Ross's home to play. As we read the instructions and begged for batteries, my nephew Braydon warned Kaleb and I that he probably wouldn't be able to play with his drone at the house. His mother came out later and said that after her attempt with Braydon's drone , she decided to take him to the park instead. Hearing their words, we set the dial in the center from expert to beginner and the boys decided to give it a try in the backyard. Unable to get it to work, they opted for something different to do until it could reach a full charge.

A little later, the other Smithboyz show up, and now it was time to show off. Kaleb and Braydon go back in to grab their drones so they can show Jaden. No sooner than Kaleb is able to get his off the ground, it gets stuck in a tree...where? In the friggin' front yard! I go outside and see that it is WAAAAYYY UP *in my Big Sean voice*. The drone is stuck in the branches of heaven, so I simply tell my wonderful offspring: That's what happens when you try to show off and don't follow directions. He'd turned the dial to expert and had flown the device in the FRONT yard instead of the BACK as we discussed. I went back in the house unbothered. Kaleb sat on the steps feeling defeated.

Braydon reminded him, "I told you that was gonna happen."
"Well, you just shouldn't flew it up there. That's yo fault," said Jaden.
"Rub it in why don't ya," Kaleb sighed.
"It's okay Kaleb," said Micah. "The wind gonna blow it down okay?"
"No it's not..."

Meanwhile, in the house, Darnell asked me what was going on. I told him. He and TJ, the host, upset that the 49ers were taking a beating, felt that half-time was the best opportunity to go assess the situation. Soon after, all the men were outside squinting to see the small toy dangling from the highest branch imaginable. Then, the contest begans. They all started taking turns, throwing a football into the tree, trying to knock the thing loose. They all failed...time and time again. Although the level of entertainment was unforgettable, the men soon returned to the house to enjoy "real" football.

When the afternoon games ended, TJ, who also happens to be Kaleb's godfather, went back outside to give it another try. He was relentless. I couldn't understand why he cared so much. I'm sure part of it was ego; he wanted to be the hero and THE guy to say he had the best arm and the best aim. But another part of it was just the love he has for the kids; his godson's toy was stuck in a tree, and he was gonna get it down...even if it might have meant icy hot on his shoulder the next few days. His efforts were not in vain. He said, "Okay this my last time, if it don't come down this time, I'm done." He launched the football one last time and down came the drone.

Isn't that like God? When we put ourselves in situations that He warned us to stay away from, he is always there to bail us out. When we find ourselves stuck in the trees of life, unable to break free from the strongholds of low self-esteem, sexual deviance, financial woes, depression, or substance abuse, he fights to get us down. When other people remind us of our sin, He forigves. When everyone else abandons us, He is ever-present. He is relentless to get us down, to set us free, to be the hero. He is God...our Father, and no matter what we do, or how high up we find ourselves, He will always bring us back to Him. Be Blessed. XOXO

Missed Opportunity

Yesterday, while sitting at a stop sign, I slightly drifted. Not sure where my mind went, but when I looked both ways, I saw that I could have gone a hair sooner. Now, a car had turned out on my left, followed by a steady stream of cars as the light at the intersection down the road had turned green. "Dammit!" was my exact word. I sat back in my seat, palmed my forehead, and waited for the car caravan to pass, shifting my head back and forth, waiting for a second chance. When the opportunity came, I pulled out to quickly make my turn and be on my merry little way.

God spoke to me. First, He was like, how you gone get mad at the other cars for going where they need to go? You the one that sat there daydreaming! Yo Bad! AHA! Many of us see the metaphor in our lives. God gives us opportunities. He clears our paths. He makes a way for us. But often times, we are too busy with our heads in the clouds (or up some other unmentionable body part) that we miss it! So many of us are wandering around, waiting for a blessing that God already tried to give us once, but the gift of our own free will trumped our better sense.

Someone had the chance with the woman that could have been your wife, but you were too busy chasing around all the other scattered skirts. Someone could have had a promotion, but you were too busy looking for a new job and missed the internal posting. Someone could have had a new home, but you were so focused on the "must haves" that you missed the "must see." And some of us could have had salvation, but we were too busy worrying about what others would think and how we'd be percieved.

But here is the good news! What God intends for us will always be for us. Once we miss it, we might have to wait awhile. He might have to grow us some more. He might have to teach us some things. He might have to check us a few more times, But once we know that we've missed it, we wait for it. We seek it. We sit up and look both ways to see when our time is coming. That is God's intention for us as we live, move, and breath in Him. We have all missed opportunities, but all glory to the Most High that we serve a God of many chances. If you blew it, don't trip. Your time is coming. Just be sure not to miss it the next time around. Be Blessed. XOXO

Walking Billboard

Social media is both a gift and a curse. I see so many wonderfully happy couples, cute and bubbly kids, amazing community events, and sometimes I even get nuggets of wisdom or sound spiritual counsel. However, I also get a front-row seat to all the ills of the world-the pain, the struggle, the evil. One thing I've noticed over the years is that social media can have a negative affect on our psyche, especially when we view the seeming success of others and compare it to ourselves...deeming us false failures.

Here's the deal, few people are willing to be a walking billboard of their pain. Most people aren't going to post anything about the bad times in their lives. Families don't take photos with frowns and tears. People don't post their bus pass because they can't afford a car. No one is taking a selfie in the unemployment line. There aren't many people who are going to log onto Facebook to post a video of them arguing with their spouse, so we assume that the images of the wedding cake, the cutesie family photos, and the long, heart-felt "Happy Anniversary" posts are it. Well as a happily married woman, IT'S NOT! The scripture of Shanelle states, "That man worketh a nerve!" And the word according to Darnell says, "That woman containeth much crazy!"

I mean c'mon, we want the world to know when things are going well. And sometimes even when they aren't, we want to keep up the facade so that other people will BELIEVE that we are living the happiest life with no problems or worries. You see, we are all willing to be walking billboards for the good times. Don't believe the hype! People aren't going to broadcast their shame, their embarrassment, their fear, their insecurities, but WE ALL HAVE THEM!  The images that burn themselves into our minds and tell us: they have a better car, they have a better job, they live in a better house, they have a better marriage, they have a better body, or they even have a greater relationship with God, are a scheme...they are not real. Someone else's success isn't your failure. Someone else's accomplishment isn't your downfall. Someone else's victory is NOT your defeat. YOU are a walking billboard for YOUR journey. Tell YOUR story. Embrace YOUR hills and YOUR valleys without envying the top of someone else's mountain!

Trust me when I tell you that envy is crippling to walking in God's promises. Feeling like we are less than someone else is counter to His message in our hearts. We are beautifully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). We are not to compare ourselves to one another (2 Corinthians 10:12), and we are more valuable to God than anything else (Matthew 10:31). Be Blessed, and if you need a reminder of how awesome you are, despite how many likes or loves someone else gets, check out this page for encouragement: http://biblereasons.com/being-unique/  XOXO

Taste the Rainbow

Yesterday, it rained. It was one of those weird, warm-weather rains. You know, where the sun is still out, yet the drops fall softly...steadily. In the midst of the subtle shower, my youngest exclaims, "Mama! A rainbow!" I looked to my left and there it was: a big, beautiful rainbow. Not the faint kind, but the clear type with unmistakable colors streaking the hazy evening sky. It was basically amazing!

He went on to explain, "I seen that at my school aaaannnd in my room."
"What are you talking about?" I as.ed,
He responded matter-of-factly, "You 'member the boat with the animals on the water? In my Bible? My teacher said that too on Monday."

Then, I remembered we'd read the story of Noah on Tuesday before bed, which was clearly a reinforcement of his circle time at school on Monday! This little dude was equating what he saw in the sky with what he learned at home and school, which to a teacher is an advanced academic skill! He was making connections! And at that moment, I had one of my own.

God placed the rainbow in the sky as a reminder of His promises to Noah, his family, and the world. Sometimes, we are in an inexplicable funk. Other times, we are in a legitimately rough place. Regardless, if we are in a soft storm, a thunderstorm, or our own personal hurricane, God will still remind us of His promises. He uses people, events, and things around us to remind us that no matter how bad it gets, He has promises that He plans to fulfill in each and every one of our lives.

That rainbow meant so much more than pretty colors to me yesterday. I've often forgotten that God promised me so much. Not because I deserve it, but because it is His will for my life. Not because of who I am or what I've done, but because He is God. Negativity can make us develop amnesia of the things that we've been promised. Set-backs can cause lapses in our memory about the things God whispers into our souls. Wherever you are in life, search for the rainbow...remind yourself that God has promised to love you, forgive you, restore you, redeem you, anoint you, protect you, keep you, provide for you, encourage you, promote you, abide in you, bless you...Be Blessed. XOXO

Commitment = FAILURE!

I didn’t want to get married. It all sounded like a terrible idea to me. Who in their right mind would want to sacrifice their individuality for the rest of their lives? Why would anyone give a person their whole heart and risk it being broken into a zillion pieces? And kids?!?! No. Thank. You. You see when you haven’t seen what a long-term, stick-it-out, “we’re gonna make it” marriage looks like, you don’t believe in them. They sound like mythological events in some fairyland. And we all know this world we live in is FAR from a fairyland!

Then, Darnell changed my view. He told me that my perception of marriage was skewed. He said,
“To think that in order for a marriage to last it has to be perfect is crazy!” He also showed me, through so many examples within his family, what it looked like to stick-it-out. The men and women in his family had been through so much throughout the course of their marriages, but were still holding on (and from what I can tell, most of the time, HAPPILY holding on). Looking at the world through my husband’s lens, I was able to see first-hand that to be committed, in essence, meant to fail.

That was what I was most afraid of-FAILURE. I didn’t want to fail at being a good wife. I didn’t want to fail at being a good mom. I didn’t want to have a failed marriage. So, I would shy away from even the idea, let alone the potential reality!

Many of us can relate because we have a strong desire to change. We want to live a better life. We want to lose weight, but we ate 100 hot wings and had 14 margaritas this weekend; so we may as well give up. We want to let go of that unhealthy relationship, but we fear that if he says the right things, we’ll be right back with him, so what’s the point in even trying? We want to chase our dreams and do what we love, but we need benefits and the security of bi-weekly paychecks. We don’t want to fail at being faithful to the one we love, so we play the field, even sometimes waking up from emotionless actions in empty beds. We want to serve God and live a life more pleasing in His sight, but we don’t want to screw up and fail at living for God, so we minimize Him in our daily lives.

But here’s the great thing about being committed: To be committed means that you WILL fail! It’s inevitable! There have been so many times I’ve fallen short of being a great wife, where my husband could do nothing but palm his head and shake it vigorously, probably questioning what the hell he got himself into! There have been just as many times that he’s left me in the same position, wondering how he talked me into this crazy, committed arrangement! But, with the failure comes reflection. adjustment, and another try. THAT is what it means to be committed. You don’t give up. You fall, you fail, you do it again! And keep doing it! 

In order for us to truly commit to anything or anyone, we have to move past the potential failures. That’s how we get better. That’s how we develop grit to persevere another day. Oftentimes, failure becomes the motivator to do better. You want to lose 5 lbs, but you only lost 3, you got a choice to make: You can give up and gain back the 3 (and then some), or you can fight like crazy to shed those other 2 to reach your goal. Failure is a often a frequent stop on the commitment trail! 

Commit to God. He knows you are going to fail. He knows you are going to sin. He knows! But keep showing up. Keep trying. Keep praying. Because the other thing He knows is that His love is greater than our failure. His light is brighter than any looming darkness. His grace and mercy make our failures simply become life-lessons along our journey toward his divine purpose. We’ll never be perfect... it’s impossible. We are guaranteed to fail! But as long as we stay committed, God has our back. Be Blessed. XOXO 

Sit Down Somewhere!

Life is busy. Period. I've become overwhelmed with work, sports, attempting to keep a clean home, and trying to maintain  my personal appearance as best I can. To put it bluntly, dis tew much! In the midst of all this hustle and bustle, ripping and running, coming and going, I can feel a disconnect. Don't know the last time my husband and I had just "we" time. Like real, uninterrupted, just-us-kind-of time. Can't tell you the last time my kids and I had a dance party, played with superheroes, or just curled up for what was once our weekly family movie night. I'm all out of sorts.

When life is like this, chances are, the Spirit is too. My church attendance has been spotty. My time in my Word is minimal. I don't talk with God as much. I don't seek Him as diligently. I'm just kind of out here.

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” -Matthew 6:31

God didn't design us to constantly be busy. He designed us to work...for Him...but not to exhaust ourselves like many of us do. His plan for our lives is bigger than overpriced caffeine and extensive workouts, all in an effort to increase our energy as we race to fatigue. His plan requires us to sometimes be still. We have to ensure that we save room in our day to be available to Him. I don't know about you, but lately, this has become a bit of a struggle for ya girl!

Not sure how many of you can relate, but there comes a time in life where you just need to sit down somewhere. God has so much to show us and reveal about His vision and purpose for our lives. However, it gets tough to hear His voice when the background noise is so loud. It's hard to see His vision when the fog of work, family, and social time hasn't cleared. It's hard to live out His purpose when so many other things have completely drained our energy. If you know this place all too well, make an intentional effort to carve out dedicated time this week to simply bask in God. No formalities required. No time limit in place. Simply make an effort to commit some time to pray, journal, read, or just sit still in the solitude of His love. Be Blessed. XOXO

Please Don't Judge Me...

I judge people. Sometimes, I know full well I’m coming for them. Other times, it’s unintentional. But I definitely do it. Sometimes out loud. Sometimes simply in my head. I have unwarranted opinions. Sometimes I share them, even when they’re unsolicited. Other times, I think them…HARD…and pray they don’t escape my lips. I judge people. Plain and simple. And what I can’t stand is the person who says with much confidence, “That’s why I don’t judge people.” YES. YOU. DO! Chances are the moment that phrase came out of your mouth, you were in a conversation with a person you felt was being judgmental. So, you threw a little shade with your “that’s why I don’t judge people” statement. Hence, you were judging them for being judgmental!

However, when the Word tells us to judge not, it’s not telling us not to have an opinion. No. What it’s actually saying is don’t decide a person’s fate. Don’t decide that a person is going to heaven or hell based off your beliefs or opinions. This is something that many, many church folk struggle with. There’s so much that has been made up and held fast that they have a hard time shaking the thought that where a person spends their eternal life is NOT a human decision!

Tupac once said, “Only God can judge me,” and he was right! We have a way of spewing fear and hate into the masses as a means of drawing them to God. That’s sooooo counter to the message! We have been taught that if you are gay, you are going to hell. Really? Because a HHUUUGGEE percentage of church folk WERE conceived or DID conceive out of WEDLOCK. Are they too going to hell? If you kill yourself, that’s the ultimate sin because you can’t repent, so you’re going to hell. Really? And we know that becauuusseee…If a murderer can take someone else’s life  and still go on to glory, SURELY a person who felt the weight of the world was too much has the same chance.

Chris Brown's ballad makes this request: "Please don't judge me/and I won't judge you/'cause it could get ugly/before it gets beautiful." THIS is real life, so show some real love (shout out to Mary J.). You see, people often spend so much time worried about what other people are doing that they develop the false sense that they ALSO get to determine where that person will spend life after death. NEWSFLASH! You ain’t got that kind of power dawg! Chill. Let people live. Offer righteous advice. Love them despite disagreeable beliefs. Have your own opinions. But please, (in my Rihanna voice) don’t get it twisted. You have no say in where they are headed so HURSH! (and Be Blessed! XOXO)

Looking Like Yo Daddy!

My oldest son started 3rd grade yesterday of course I snapped a picture. After my proud mama Facebook post, I examined the photo a bit more. I admired his slight smile and how that scar that once caused such grief is now a mark of character, making him look more like a young man than a little boy. I thought to myself, He's a pretty handsome kid. The older he gets, the more he looks like his daddy. 

Everyone who sees my sons and I together thinks they look like me, and truthfully they do. So much so that my husband often threatens to take me on the Maury show! He's even crafted the most amazing dance to perform when the results come in. Yes, I married a complete clown. However, as my the big boy gets older, I see so much of his father in his features, in his mannerisms, in his personality. It's clear that he is most definitely his father's child. 

This is the point we should be trying to get to in our walk with the Lord. The older we get, the more people should see our Daddy in us. Now we often confuse what this looks like, so let's refresh. First and foremost, we were made in His image, so when he made us, we already came here looking kind of like Him! Beyond that, He instructs us on how to live like Him and for Him, but He FULLY understands that we will never be Him. And that's the part that we often forget. We think that looking like God means constantly reminding others how much they don't look like Him. We think that His image is one of condescension and judgement. We think that living like Him requires us to point out every mistake and shame every secret of our brothers and sisters. And, well, quite frankly, that COMPLETELY misses the point. 

As I look back over my own life, I think about how far I've come in my walk with God. I'm still very critical of myself, so going through this spiritual drought, I've been really hard on myself at times. Allowing thoughts like, "God is mad at me, " or "I disappointed Him so much, He's going to get me". Worrying that something tragic will befall me to force me back into His fold in a greater way. And then I am reminded...that's NOT how God operates. That's how WE operate. God is forgiving and loving. Will He chastise us? Yes. Will he condemn us? No. Will he test us? Yes. Will he tempt us? No. Will he nudge us? Yes. Will he force us? No. 

See God is the embodiment of the Fruit. He is patient with us. He loves us. He sees past EVERY SINGLE fault. He loves beyond EACH DARK SECRET. He's God. And the stronger we grow in Him, the longer we walk with Him, the more we look like Him. As we grow in God, people should be able to see our Daddy's patience, His self-control, His righteous resilience, His image... the one in which we were made. Will we be perfect? Ummm...no. As a matter of fact, that's how we'll know. We will love ourselves and others past the pain, through the storm, after the mistakes, despite the secrets, over the guilt, and beyond the shame . That's how they will know we are His children. Be Blessed. XOXO

Relieve Me

Have you ever worked a job where there was a certain time of day you would be "relieved"? You know, 11:30 AM, the lunch worker comes around so you can take your 30 minutes? Or your supervisor rotates in 15 minute increments to give you and your co-workers a break? I have, and I know there were days I was so tired, or work was so slow, that I literally counted down the minutes to my relief. 

Some of us are in a season of struggle right now. We are so tired that we can't wait for God to send us relief. We feel like we've been fighting the same battle for so long that it almost seems impossible for our situation to change. We are tired of waiting for that promotion at work. We are tired of getting calls from our children's school We are exhausted with our spouse and their foolish ways. We don't have enough money, patience, or blood-pressure medicine to hold on much longer! We are growing weary. 

When we reach these times in life, it's hard to trust God. Our faith dwindles. Our lights dim. Our hope begins to fade. When people around us are in this space, it can become difficult to encourage them because we TOTALLY agree with them! Even we are looking up to the heavens like, "C'mon God! Relieve them already!" We ourselves have grown tired  simply watching them fight and hold on and pray and hold on and fall and fail and hold on and wait and hold on some more. 

 The Word tells us a few things about being in this time: 

1. They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. (Isaiah 40:31)

2. There is rest for the weary... (Matthew 11:28)

3. Do no grow weary in doing good for in due time... (Galatians 6:9)

4. All of my help comes from the Lord. (Psalms 121:2)

5. He has made everything beautiful...IN ITS TIME. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

It's in these times we have no other choice then to pray and stand. In this waiting period, tears are normal, so cry. In this holding time, anger is natural, so scream. In these still moments, asking God the tough questions get us to the well-deserved rewards. If you're here right now, or you've ever been here, you know it feels like forever. But once the sweet relief of the Lord comes, we find that we have been reshaped, molded into a stronger, more grateful, more humble version of former selves. 

Here's a playlist of encouragement to help remind us that in due time, we will be rewarded: 

1. Be Encouraged-William Becton

2. My Life is in Your Hands-Kirk Franklin

3. I Told the Storm-Greg O'Quin N Joyful Noize

4. Encourage Yourself-Donald Lawrence and the Tri-City Singers

5. I Almost Let Go-Kurt Carr

6. Worth Fighting For-Brian Courtney Wilson

7. Greater is Coming-Jekalyn Carr

God is preparing us for the blessings He has in store for us. We can't receive relief until He deems us ready. Hold on brothers and sisters. I know the rope feels thin. I know it looks like a long way up, but God PROMISED to never leave you nor forsake you. Trust that. Trust Him. And prepare yourself to Be Blessed. XOXO

Teacher: God....Student: Me

So, my wallet and phone were stolen yesterday. Although a big part of it was clearly my own absent-minded irresponsibility, a bigger part of it is the genuine lack of integrity amongst people. The short story: I was grabbing a large bag of ice for my son's baseball team to cool their post-game Gatorade. After failing to grip the bag to carry it to the car, I set down my wallet and phone, but held on to my keys as they were looped around my finger. I put the ice in the cooler, hopped in the whip, and went to retrieve the offspring. Upon arrival at Kid #1, I noticed my phone wasn't in its normal location. Because mom's can often misplace their own things when trying to keep up with EVERYONE else's, I asked my trusty side-kick (because he knows I lose things DAILY) to assist in the search. With no success, we drive on to Kid #2, and I ponder over my last steps. Still with no luck, I drop off the boys and backtrack to all locations only to have the epiphany that the last time I had it was when I set it down to pick up that stupid bag of ice! Of course, no one saw or knew anything, which made the whole ordeal even more frustrating. But what was so shocking to me was my internal and external mood.

Normally, in a situation like this, I'd be going BALLISTIC! Tears, expletives, phone calls, you name it! But not today. Not this time. Why? As I drove back to my big boy's baseball game, I thought about a bunch of stuff. First, our lives have been in a bit of disarray the last few weeks because of Kaleb's grueling baseball schedule, the demands of my husband's new gig, and my brilliant idea to work summer school. When things are out of whack at home, it's easy for mishaps to occur and for one to become more vulnerable to predators upon the unsuspecting. Secondly, in the wake of the tragedy in Orlando, it's hard to get upset about small things right now. These people are gone. Their loved ones are left to mourn their lives forever. A phone and a wallet are nothing when you think of that. And lastly, one word-Growth.

See, I've been feeling a bit distant from God for the past few months. Can't quite put my finger on what or why, but it just doesn't quite feel the same. I know He's there because He promised never to leave me, but I just haven't felt as connected. Well in light of yesterday's unfolding, I saw Him, I felt Him, I knew He was trying to get my attention. For that, I couldn't be upset. Annoyed? Yes. Slightly deflated? Uh-huh. Ready to squad up on the first person I saw with  my stuff?! Sho 'Nuff. But honestly, the feelings I had were different. I realized that in this season of distance, I have been given the chance to grow.

Back in January, God revealed to me that this year was going to be a year of testing and trials, but nothing tragic. Boy has it been true. Some of the tests I've aced; some of them I've made it by the skin of my teeth; and others, well I failed them bad boys with FLYING colors! But ALL of them, yes ALL of them, are playing a part in my growth. It feels good to know that I can stand and God can continue to trust my ability, even when I don't always get it right. Think about child-birth. A child can only grow to certain point in the mother's womb. At some point, he or she will have to exit that safe space and enter this crazy world. Then and only then can they truly grow. The same thing is true of God. There will be times where He holds us close to keep us safe, to shield us, to comfort us, to prepare us. But then the time comes where He chooses to fall back and let us see grow.  Iyanla Vanzant said, "God gives his toughest tests to his best students." With God's protection and provision, His grace and all His mercy, I'm pretty sure that if we study hard and work with real grit. we will all be headed toward the top of the class! Study, Pray, Grow, and Be Blessed. XOXO

Falling Off

The title of this blog is the story of my life. I have a trinity of priority in my life: God, Family, and Work.This balancing act can be quite difficult to maintain. There are times when my family trumps my time with God because I'm so busy reprimanding, taking care of their needs, or just chilling with the fam! I often find myself with my priorities out of whack, as I am ambitious and love what I do. I work...HARD. So, there are times where work gets in the way of  EVERYTHING else. On the other hand, I experience those rare moments when things are great. I'm at peace. Everything is in it's proper place. And right when I think I have it all figured out, before I know it, things are right back crazy!

All of us have been here before. Many of us can best relate with weight-loss. We start out great. We're eating right, getting proper rest and exercise, feeling great. Then, next thing we know, we stop by the McDonald's drive thru because we're crunched for time. We skip breakfast because we're late for work. We miss a workout because a kid gets sick. And it all begins to slowly fall apart. We gain back the pounds we lost. We get down on ourselves. We try a quick fix. We get upset. We give up...and our pants are tight ALL... OVER ...AGAIN!

This same cycle happens with God. We have our times where we are so close and so connected that nothing seems to stand between us and the Most High. Then, there are times where those little things start to get in our way and we lose focus. Our priorities shift, and slowly our relationship with God starts to take a back seat to work, kids, social engagements, travel, favorite TV shows, and the other host of things that life imparts. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's normal, and it's okay. The real trouble would be not to notice. But as long as we are human, we will fall off. It's part of our make-up. That's why we need God. Everything that happens in our lives to remind us of our imperfection and our reliance upon God is a necessity for our humility and reverence toward Him. It's okay to lose sight, as long as we find our way back to the true source of life.

The mere fact that you can tell that your life is out of whack speaks volumes to what it means to have a real relationship with God. You miss Him. You know you need to talk to Him. You feel guilty. You want to say sorry and fix it. The crazy thing is that even though you feel that way, He hasn't gone anywhere. He's right there, waiting on you to get your life together! If you need to get back to God, do it. You'll have good days and not-so-good days. You'll have distant times and close times. All of which are a part of a genuine relationship. That is all that God wants to have with each and every one of us-a real relationship. So don't beat yourself up about it. Rearrange where necessary and remember His mercies renew each day.  Be Blessed. XOXO

Keep the Change

When I'm in a restaurant (and opt to pay with cash), I tend to tell my server, "Keep the change." Of course, I tell them this because the service was good, so they earned a tip. In all my years of dining, I've never had a server refuse. Not once has a server said to me, "Nah I'm good, I'll bring you back your change." Why? Hmmmm...maybe because that would defeat the whole purpose of them going to work?!

Funny. When God moves in our lives and changes us, we have a tendency to be the exact opposite of most restaurant servers. We try to give Him back the blessings of change. We say, "You know what God, I've enjoyed my miserable life, so thanks for the change, but I'll pass." WHAT THE WHAT?!? God lives and moves and breathes inside each and every one of us (Deuteronomy 31:6). He is working tirelessly to mature us in the Spirit (I Corinthians 6:11). That manifests itself in a variety of ways, all of which transform us (Isaiah 43:19). 

One way that I can see me changing (and boy has it taken some time) is that I am quicker to listen. See, I'm naturally very defensive. And I have a strong desire to be right. All are great traits of a lawyer, but I am not a lawyer. I am a teacher. And dealing with so many personalities over the years and so many issues that my babies bring to school, I've learned the importance of listening before forming opinions. I can't say I've mastered it. My friends and family would definitely attest to me still having a ways to go. Partially because I'm comfortable with my old self and therefore, I sometimes, accidentally, reject God's change within me. See to listen without judgement or restrain from expressing opinions allows my spirit to be open to the one who is sharing with me. I'm able to learn from what they are saying and if I listen hard enough, I can actually see into the soul of who they are and understand how they are truly feeling. God is doing this on purpose. It is a part of His plan for me. You know...the plan to prosper me and give me hope...THAT plan! 

Next time you find yourself feeling a little strange or talking a bit funny. If your heart feels softer. If your outlook seems broader. If you find yourself speaking more gently, giving more generously, or simply loving more freely, know that is God. If you are saving more than you are spending; watching something different on TV, reading more, working out more, dressing differently, the list goes on and on, know that God is MOVING. You are becoming different because God is transforming you from the inside out. So don't reject what God is doing in you...keep the change! Be Blessed! XOXO

Highway

One morning, while driving to work, I found myself stuck in the morning traffic that I sooooo dread. Although it's short-lived on my commute, it's annoying nonetheless. But every morning, I reach the place where I get over into the exit only lane that NO ONE ELSE seems to take! It's always such a relief to lift that blinker and get over into that nearly empty lane. Everyone else is headed the same way, but not me, and boy am I glad!

Funny how that sounds much like choosing God's way of life. Everyone else is going the same way. And there are times that we find ourselves as just another part of the pact. But then, there are times that we are able to break free. We choose a different way...the "high" way. Where few are brave enough to travel, and even fewer remain on the path, we find ourselves in little (if any) company.

But the world opens up to us when we make that move. Obstacles that blocked our paths for so long are no longer an obstruction. We are spending less time sitting idle, wondering about life, and more time moving toward our goals, building the kingdom. If you are finding yourself stuck in the traffic of this world, get over into the exit only lane and let the Man Upstairs clear your path! Be Blessed. XOXO

Direct Impact

Have you ever noticed that, oftentimes, people around you are hurting? I don't mean a stubbed toe or heartburn, I mean real pain. People are sick, physically and mentally. People are broke and their spirits feel robbed. People are heartbroken and desperate. People are hurting in ways we could never imagine.

Now, take a look at how you respond. Do you look forlorn with pity and go about you day? Do you say, "I'll pray for you," only to NOT pray for them? Do you avoid their calls? Do you ignore their pain? Do you even care?!?

Truthfully, humans are naturally selfish, extremely selfish! As a result, we only seem to be most concerned and bothered by those things that directly affect us. We don't seem to have a sense of urgency, unless we ourselves are direct recipients of the pain.

However, this is not aligned with God's principles. First, we are ONE in the body, so when ONE of us hurts, we ALL hurt; when ONE of us rejoices, we ALL rejoice (Romans 12:5). Secondly, we are called to treat one another how we'd WANT to be treated (Luke 6:31). Not how we FEEL like treating people, but how we WANT to be treated ourselves! If we see a brother or sister in need, we are to help them as best we can (1 John 3:17).

The classic song, "Thank you Lord", thanks God for all He's done. But at the bridge the various renditions all belt, "It could have been me...outdoors...with no food...and not clothes...all left alone...without a friend...or just another number...with a tragic end...". This is the real! It's only by God's grace that WE aren't the ones who have been directly impacted by sudden death, incurable disease, miscarriages, layoffs, divorce, financial strain, homelessness, wayward children, the list is endless with all the things that people are enduring. Some of us have been here and have overcome. Some of us are hoing through a valley experience right now and we need people's help and prayers. Others have been abundantly blessed enough to have no clue what real pain feels like.

Many of us bear witness to the struggles and pain of our fellow man and turn a blind eye because it's too emotional, time consuming, and not on our daily agenda. What if God treated you and your issues, small or large, as an inconvenience? What if your prayers fell on deaf ears? I don't know about you, but I'm glad that's not how God is set up! And quite frankly, it's not how we should be set up either. If we are truly loving our brothers and sisters as ourselves, we are affected by their pain (Mark 12:31). When things affect us, we react. If someone close to you is hurting, we should also react. If you don't know how to help, start with prayer. Pray for them. Pray for their endurance and perseverance. Pray their strength and God's will. Then, pray for yourself to have the compassion and courage to do whatever God is calling you to do in that person's life. Be a blessing to someone else and Be Blessed! XOXO

Let the Father In

When my youngest son was sick, the ER team did a complete work up. They took chest x-rays, swabbed him to test for flu strands, and even had him pee in a cup! I'm sure you can imagine the fun he had with that! However, the last part was the worst part...they needed to draw blood.

Now mind you, this was his SECOND time to the ER in a matter of one week, so he was in bad shape. Couple the age of 3 with dehydration from illness and add a dose of poor nurses struggling with such tiny phlebotomy, and you get a recipe for disaster! They said to me, "Mom, we're gonna need you to hold him still."

I'll be honest, I suck at this. Not because I'm a softy (maybe a little) but mostly because I can never hold these kids of mine well enough. When they feel threatened in any way, they are SUPER strong! When he was four, while getting an immunization in his thigh, my oldest son actually broke a needle...like literally BROKE IT! And who was supposed to be holding him at the time? You guessed it!

Fast forward a few years, and here I am again. Looking at the nurses with a faux confidence convincing enough to fool the best of them. Then, my husband returns with my oldest son and sees right through me. Micah is taking it like a champ, but squirming and trying to break free nonetheless. After the second nurse is called in, my husband approaches me gently and stares into my eyes with a look that simply says, "Please get out of the way woman."

I oblige, and my how things changed. Micah is still because daddy is stronger and firmer. Micah is calm because daddy can hold his focus away from the needles better than mommy. Micah is crying, but he's not acting a fool because he kinda can't, he has no power against daddy. And it dawns on me...

So many times in life, we are tricking ourselves into believing we have it all under control. The world is convinced we have it together, and we're doing alright. But we know, deep down, we are a flaming mess! We are having a hard time holding it all together, but we cant let on, no way! Then, the Father shows up.

If (key word IF) we heed his presence, we slide to the side and let him handle the situation. When we do that, a burden is lifted from us. A peace sweeps over all aspects of whatever we are going through. That mountain in front of us has no power against our God.

So, when we find ourselves in complicated instances that test our faith, cause us to question our abilities, or simply shake us to our core,  we have to let the Father in. Once we do, everything works out for our good...just like He said it would. Be Blessed XOXO

Babies and Fools

This past weekend, I celebrated my 35th birthday. It was a blast! I had a weekend long celebration with family and friends, and I couldn't have enjoyed myself more. However, the last night, trying to be grown and classy, my friends and I went on a limo wine tasting. It was so fun. But, at the close of the night, I made a questionable decision.

The point of the limo is because I have thing about drinking and driving. What I didn't consider was that the limo WAS NOT taking me home. Duh! Now, before I left the house, my husband specifically said to me, "Call me if you need me to come and get you." Considering the fact that it's normally the other way around in our relationship, I may or may not have disregarded his sincere offering. Fast forward to what was supposed to be a 4 hour event becoming a 6 hour event that was extended by a small group of us who were so wrapped up in the moment we didn't want to leave! And what did I do? I drove myself home.

Now there are 2 types of people reading this. The type of people who can't believe someone would do that and the type of people who are thinking about how they too have been guilty of the same thing (probably more often than they care to admit). I prayed before I pulled off, and thanked God when I arrived home safely. But the next morning, I felt a level of conviction that I can honestly say I've only felt one other time and that was over 4 years ago. I asked the Lord to forgive me for being irresponsible, and I could hear my granny in my head, "The Lord takes care of babies and fools. I stopped being a baby a long time ago, but every now and then, I can still be a fool." So true. So very, very true.

Sometimes in life, we do things that are out of character. We make choices that don't seem like a big deal in the moment, but later we look back and feel a twinge of guilt.We act foolishly. We say to ourselves, "I'll just have one more drink." Or, "I can give her my number, that's not cheating on my wife." Or even, "I'm finna cuss this fool out and repent later!" Regardless of the questionable choices we've made in life, if we feel convicted afterward, it's an opportunity for us to self-reflect and seek God's lesson. Don't beat yourself up about it. Try to seek God's angle. Where is He coming from? What does He want from us? How can this experience grow us or change us to better live for Him?

Am I proud of my choice? Of course not. Did I learn from those uncomfortable feelings afterward? I believe so. Will I ever screw up again? You better believe it! But if we find ourselves in a position where we feel convicted or guilty or even question our decisions, we can pray this prayer, "God, what do you want me to get from this? I feel you nudging, please open my mind and heart to receive your loving correction. I know what I did wasn't the best choice. I know that you expect more from me. But I also know that even when I jack up, you still love me. Help me to not take that for granted. Guide me in your will and your way. In Your name I pray, Amen." Be Blessed. XOXO

I Got People

Sooooo...last week, my family had a very scary experience. When I picked my youngest son up from daycare, his teacher told me had been running a fever and he seemed to be tired all day. I thought it was just a common cold, ear infection, or even maybe even a late tooth because he's still so small. We ran an errand and were ready to go to praise dance practice when I looked in the rear-view and saw he just needed to rest. So, I decided to go home instead. I called my husband to tell him he wouldn't need to grab the kids from the church. As I brought him up to speed on our son's condition, I heard Micah take a gasp of air. I looked back in the rear-view and shouted into the phone, "He's having a seizure!"

I pulled off to a side street, hopped out the car, and undid his seat belt. I leaned him to his side, over the arm rest. As I stood in the street with my hands in my pockets, a woman yelled down from her porch to see if everything was okay. Knowing the seizure had to run its course, I calmly said, "My baby is having a seizure." No sooner than the words escaped my mouth, she was down at my car. She moved me out of the car doorway and laid hands on Micah right as his body began to calm. She prayed healing prayers over my son. Her husband later came down and asked if my son was sick. I told him he had been running a fever, but I wasn't sure what was wrong. The husband then said, "It's probably a febrile seizure. Our daughter had one when she was about his age. Take his clothes off and get him up to Children's Mercy. He's gonna be alright sweetie." Then, the woman hugged me and prayed for my strength.

I was fairly calm until that point. But in that moment when the woman hugged me and began to pray for me, I was overwhelmed by God's goodness.  Growing up with a mother who had seizures, I knew what to do in this situation. I never thought I'd thank God for the painful experiences of watching my mom suffer from seizures over the years, but on that day, in that moment, watching my baby shake, I was grateful to have been prepared. In His order and on His time. God's servant (Lady Kisha is her name) was obedient to come out and pray for us. Her husband was able to reassure me that Micah was going to be okay. God saw it fit to place me right there in that moment to be reminded that even in the midst of a scary situation, I got people!

Some of us are in uncertain times. Some of us are embarking on new territory. Some of us are making lifestyle changes or trying to answer a call from the Lord. Others of us are simply confused. We feel like we are under attack. We just don't know what else to do. Remember that you serve a God who has people. If He has people, YOU GOT PEOPLE MAN! Even when things are unclear, be available in the Spirit to receive from God's people. Be encouraged by their words. Be reassured by their presence. When you rolling with G-O-D...you ALWAYS got people. Be Blessed. XOXO

Hold my Hand

Every time we walk into a parking lot, my youngest son says, "Hold my hand mama!" I know a big part of that comes from me doing so since he started walking. Another part is simply reality. He's a little guy who's too small to be waltzing into the streets alone.  But the last part of it requires a bit of choice.

See, he wants me to hold his hand because he has come to expect it. Since he expects it, it's become comfortable to him. Within that comfort is the full faith that I'll keep him safe in the parking lot, every....single...time.

There are times in life where we will embark upon new territory. We will walk in to these vast and overwhelming experiences. When this happens, we will need God to hold our hands. We are too small to conquer whats ahead, no matter how hard we try. We know that we need His help. But that is where it's up to us.

It's time for us to get comfortable with God holding our hands. It's time to trust him to help us make our way through the parking lots of life. But first, we have to reach out and ask Him. Then, we must be okay with His direction, expecting that He'll lead us, according to His will. Finally, we have to believe that He will keep us safe and secure... all...along...the way. The next time something big is in front of you, reach out and touch the Master's hand. Then, watch how peacefully you make it through.  Be Blessed XOXO

It Hurts!

Today, I got a call from the school nurse. She informed me that my son had something "hard" lodged in his ear. She sent him to the in-school clinic, where they attempted to irrigate and dislodge the object to no avail. So, we were sent to the Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist at the children's hospital downtown.

When we arrived, they zoomed into his ear with a microscope connected to a huge, flat screen, HDTV. And there we saw it...a rock. Now, of course my son has no recollection of how a rock could have possibly found its way into his ear. I ask if it could be a pencil lead because kids and pencils can hardly get along (trust me on this one...I'm a teacher). They insist it's a rock and begin to try taking it out.

Kaleb is a strong critter, so the first attempt was a failure. He was too strong and the staff was unable to keep him still. So, after soliciting my help and acquiring the help of a few other medical staff, they asked me if I was okay with him being swaddled. I obliged and watched them wrap my big boy much like I used to when he was an infant. His whole body was wrapped up like a burrito, so he couldn't move his arms or legs. He was helpless.

As they began poking and prodding his ear, he began to cry...then yell...then scream. The pain was unbearable. I encouraged him to breathe. I told him to calm down. I said it was okay to cry and be scared but he had to try harder to keep his head up and be still. Watching him go through the pain and not being able to do anything about it was hard for me. His little brother began to cry for him. My eyes filled with water too. It was hard to witness...

However, as I watched him endure that pain, I was hurting for him. I knew that what he was going through was best for him at the time. It was what he needed. It was a necessary process to get him where he needed to be. The pain was unavoidable. It hurt him, and the ones who loved him most were hurting with him.

But as his mother,  I was there the whole time. I never left his side. I encouraged him. I reassured him. And when they released him from the bondage of the swaddle contraption, I comforted him. Hmmm...

Sometimes, God allows us to experience painful situations. He gets no pleasure out of this. When we hurt, he shares our pain; He bears our burdens. He knows we are helpless, and He knows it hurts. But He also knows that it's necessary. We can't grow and change and be who we are meant to be without the pain. God knows it hurts, but He's right there with us. When we are crying out in pain, He comforts us. He encourages us when we feel like we can't go on. He reassures us when we question if we'll be okay. He soothes our doubts and calms our fears. He whispers to us to keep our heads up. And when we've done all we can do, He reminds us to be still.

If you are in pain right now, you aren't alone.  If you are hurting and feel helpless, God knows that. He's there with you every step of the way. He promised to never leave you and never forsake you. He feels your pain and hates it, just as much as you do. But you gotta endure it. The pain in the process is part of your journey to reach His purpose. Stay strong. Stay faithful. Be Blessed XOXO

Newton's 3 Laws

My students and I recently took a field trip to see FMA Live! This musical performance combines the arts and science to help students understand Newton's 3 Laws of Physics. It was so entertaining that even I, the physics dumb dumb, was able to commit the laws to memory!

After the field trip, this new info started to transform and have new meaning. I'm sure Sir Isaac Newton wasn't exactly thinking about the Spirit when he came up with these laws, but they fit so perfectly.  I discovered, Newton's 3 Laws are a lot like God's presence in our lives...

1. Inertia
Inertia is the the tendency of an object to stay in a straight line and move at a constant velocity. It's the resistance of an object to any changes in its direction or speed. When God is in our lives and we are walking in His purpose for us, we have a tendency to be unmoved. We begin to resist the changes that we know will push us backward or jolt us from side to side. Are we perfect? Nope. But we are moving in a straight line (most of the time) at the rate of God's appointed timing. So, the law of inertia says trying to move us or change us, will be quite the task!

2. Force = Mass times Acceleration (F=MA)
This equation describe the relationship between the mass of an object and the amount of force it will take to make it move. When we talk about our relationship with God, it is often some sort of that accelerates our faith. God allows a mass to weigh us down until we look to Him to become of the force to move us into His arms, His safety, His love. We are bogged down by bills, divorce, work, weight-gain, troubled children, our past, our present, LIFE! But then we call on the FORCE by FAITH in GOD! Then, that MASS, the weight of the world on our shoulders, is LIFTED. It is these experiences that ACCELERATE our faith and our relationship with God Himself.

3. For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction

It's self-explanatory. When we take that action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We open our hearts to God...action. He comes into our lives and we begin to change...reaction. The more steps we take in God's direction, the more His presence becomes apparent. We don't talk the way we used to. We don't live the way we used to. We change. We become different. We are made new...Be Blessed. XOXO

Limited

My youngest son is becoming more independent. This is accompanied by lots of backward shirts, shoes on the wrong feet, and half-washed faces to match half-brushed teeth. He wants to do it himself. He sees his big brother walking around like a hot-shot who has it all under control, so he wants that too. Little does he realize that he has common 3-year-old limitations. His fine motor skills cause him to struggle with small buttons and shoe strings that he attempts to tie on his own. His cognitive ability won't allow him to read an entire book himself, at least not with the real words that are actually printed on the pages. And once he comes face to face with these limitations, he gets frustrated, goes bonkers, or will have a complete meltdown!

Some of us are the same way. We want to handle every situation in our lives on our own. We have this false sense of independence because so much of what we do, day to day, is within our control. So, that idea of "doing it ourselves" spills over into things that are sometimes outside of our control. 

In life, we will be thrown into moments that we literally can't do anything about. However, it might take us a while to come to that realization. And once we do...we lose it! You know...that thing you've been praying about and trying to work out for weeks, months, or years? That thing. Look at you, still trying to "fix" it. Going back to the drawing board. Pulling out extra tricks. Reading new books. When all along, you need to sit down somewhere, or as the Word says, "Stand still..." 

Because we are human, we are limited in our power. True, faith without works is dead. But sometimes, we work ourselves out of faith. We try so hard to control the situation that we are basically telling God, we got it, we don't need Him, or even worse, we don't believe He'll come through for us. There are times when we just can't do it all. There are situations that only God can work out. In those times, we have to sit still and wait for Him to move. Sometimes, He will move us. At times, He will move others. But when we relinquish our limitations to Him and say, "Lord, I've done all I can do, please help," He comes through. Sometimes He makes us wait. Other times, it's almost immediate, as if He is saying, "It's about time you sat yo self down somewhere and let me handle this thang!" 

If you are struggling with something today. You feel like you are at your wits end. You don't know which way to turn or what move to make next, take a break. Pray to the Lord, "I'm ready for you to takeover. I've done what I can. Lead me. It's all Yours. I trust You." Once you trust your limits to Him, CHILL. Let Him work. Trust me...He's got it all under control. Be Blessed. XOXO

Work with what ya got

My oldest son has a tendency to be comparative and competitive. He wants his credit. He wants to be the best. He doesn't want to be outdone. He gets it honest. I can be the same way. And if you are reading this and being honest with yourself, so can you. At some point, in some situation, you look outside of yourself and wonder....compare...compete.You wonder why you don't have a spouse. You compare your house to someone else's. You compete to look the best on a night on the town. Life has a way of having us to look at others and essentially feel inadequate.

However, God gives each of us what we are to have in the time we should have it. The things, you are looking at others for simply aren't meant for you right now...and honestly, they may not be meant for you at all. For example, I've never had really long hair. It can get to a decent length, but on the whole, my hair has never been super long. When I was younger, I would look at my cousins, friends, and even my baby sister like, "Why do they get the long hair and I don't?"

Funny...fast forward to the teenage years and my first real hair cut. My cheekbones were EVERYTHING in my school pictures. And that's when it hit me. When my hair is grown out, I tend to wear it up or in a ponytail. Why? Because hair distracts from the features of my face. Long hair isn't necessarily in my favor. Hence, I don't have a whole heap of hair because I have this beautiful face that the world deserves to see! And shoot, if I want some hang-time bad enough, I can buy hair by the pack or the bundle whenever I so choose! LBVS!

1 Peter 4:10 tells each of us to use whatever gifts we have been given to serve others. For everything you lack, God has gifted you something else that He intended for you to use for His purposes. Someone is looking at you with the same wonderment, comparison, and competitiveness that you are looking at someone else. The truth of the matter is that God has given each of us the things that He wants us to have, and He is expecting us to use them. Now, we can't do that effectively if we are too busy looking at what others have, and therefore, what we DON'T have! Pay close attention to what God have given you and focus on maintaining, developing, and perfecting those gifts. You may not have the biggest house, but you have a knack for decor. You may  not have the smallest waist, but you have an eye for fashion. You may not have the best singing voice, but your public speaking is a force to be reckoned with. What has God given you? Whatever it is, work with what you got to get to where He wants you to be. Be Blessed. XOXO

Resolution

It's that time of year again! Many of us resolve to do these super awesome things. Some of us refuse to believe the hype because... well...we've failed before, or we simply don't want to live under that kind of pressure! Either way, it's a new year, which is a perfect opportunity for new experiences  and fresh perspective.

On New Year's Eve, I was blessed to have a most enlightening conversation with my Godmommy. She'd been going through a storm of sickness, but (as usual) her faith never waivered. As we sat and talked, she revealed that on a prior doctor's visit, she'd asked the Lord for 3 things, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. I later revealed to her that I had 3 broad goals this year, but had never thought about them being aligned in that way. She continued to tell me that during this trying time, she'd begun to give God more intimate time. She said she knows Him and loves Him in a whole new way. I thought, "How is that possible?! This lady is like a walking billboard of faith!" But she said to me, "It's like He's new to me all over again."

Some of us (myself included) could spend a little more time with God this year. There's no way we can fully accomplish His purpose if we don't talk to Him. Some of us need to stop being afraid of failure and set some goals. There's no way to know we've failed if we haven't even committed to try. Whether you want to open a business, go back to school, lose weight, or just live a better lifestyle, the only way that happens is by committing to try and seeking God's guidance along the way. Whatever you've resolved to do, I pray God is in the midst so your success will be even more sweet. Be Blessed in this new year! XOXO