Follow the Leader

In light of recent events from Spring Valley High in South Carolina, I am appalled. Not because a teenager defied authority. Not because a teacher called security. But because an adult MAN was able to ABUSE a teenage, black girl WHILE the teacher stood there, AND NOW her own community is focusing on her?!? Someone tell me where this adds up. Someone tell me where we forgot to cover and care for our babies. Someone please tell me where the scripture has been disproven: There is nothing new under the sun.

Many ADULTS are acting like this CHILD is the root of the problem. I have worked in a school everyday for over 10 years. Teenagers have issues with rebellion, defiance, and disrespect. BUT, this isn't new! Teenagers have been getting smacked in the  mouth and hemmed up at home for centuries! It's where they are developmentally. They are developing opinions and independence, so they test limits; they make bad choices; they defy authority. Is it right? Hell to the naw naw. Is it new? Hell to the triple naw.

I sat next to students who defied authority every day and I graduated high school nearly 20 years ago. My MOTHER sat next to students who defied authority. My GRANDMOTHER sat next to students who defied authority. Hell, if I'm being honest, every now and again I was the one doing the defying (and trust Rhonda handled that tail when I got back to the crib)! This ain't new! So, why is it that we act like "this generation" is so much more jacked up than ours?!?

If we are going to place blame on students. IF we are going to say, "She deserved it," or "She should have just done what she was told," or "That's what's wrong with these kids;" then, we HAVE to be accountable to this ENTIRE generation. If they are "the most disrespectful" or "a bunch of bad a$$" kids, then HOW did they get that way? HOW did their parents get that way? If we take this stance, then we have to admit there is a generation or two of men and women who may have dropped the ball.

But we don't want to do that. We don't want to admit that generations are built upon the values of their ancestors. Our values shifted. We thought more about "getting out the 'hood" than trying to reverse the adverse effects of gangs and drugs on the 'hood. We thought more about "finding better schools" than transforming the schools that were available to ALL of our children. We thought more about separating "our" kids from "those" kids than being a role model for the babies who didn't have any. We became selfish. We became a resident in a neighborhood instead of a member of a community. We lost compassion. We lost responsibility. We lost love.

See children are led. They are led to right. They are led to wrong. They are led to hate. They are led to love. WE are responsible for that leadership. WE would have to be accountable for her defiance to authority because WE haven't been leaders in doing so ourselves. God is the ultimate authority. He calls for us to love. He tells us explicitly in the scripture how to raise our children. In a nutshell, we are to raise our children to honor us (parents), respect our teachings, respect authority. We are to discipline them in love, ensuring that they understand that God is first among all. (For an extensive list, visit: http://ministry-to-children.com/bible-verses-about-parents-children-mothers-fathers/)

Women are called specifically in Colossians 3 to teach girls how to grow into women. But where are her women? Dead. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Most of the adults who are GOING IN on this girl couldn't handle half of what she's endured in the last 9 months. The loss of matriarch one and two, THEN placement into the dangerous and often troublesome system that is FOSTER CARE?!? C'mon now. Let's be honest. She is a trooper. Growing up quickly because life dealt her a crappy hand. Does it justify her defiance? Nope. But it does say this: She needs to be covered. She needs to be loved. She needs coping skills. She needs a list of things that TAKE TIME, not TACKLES!

Many of you were more blessed than her. You had parents, or at least a mother or grandmother. You had a home. You had comfort. You had stability. And many of you STILL have these same comforts...these same privileges and luxuries. Don't let the world blind you the REAL issue. She was ABUSED. Regardless of her refusal to get up, she was ABUSED. Grow out of that slave mentality that says, "When massah tell ya do sumfin, ya gawn 'head and do it." Grow into the reality that YOU were once a teen. You bucked someone or some rule. I was once a teen, and I definitely did some bucking. But at no point, was I tossed around like this (literally and figuratively) as an object with no worth, no value, no consideration for circumstances. I don't know this baby, but I love her, so the REAL issue, the BIGGER issue, is that she wasn't watched over and now she's being blamed for an adult's abuse of power and physical assault...Before I type an entire dissertation, I'm gonna end this. Be Blessed. XOXO